Monday, December 27, 2010

tidak cukup hanya membela diri.

jihad fisabilillah kita bukanlah satu jihad untuk membela diri (defensive war).

sebaliknya, jihad seorang muslim yang mempunyai kefahaman deen itu adalah jihad untuk pembebasan seluruh bangsa manusia daripada penghambaan kepada makhluk.

jihad kita adalah untuk menegakkan penghambaan manusia hanya kepada Allah semata.

menegakkan kerajaan Allah di bumi ini.

sekiranya kita meletakkan matlamat jihad kita adalah hanya untuk mempertahankan tanah air, seolah- olah kita meletakkan tanah air itu yang utama, bukannya manhaj Islam itu.

melainkan,
jika tanah air kita adalah satu kerajaan Islam yang harus dipertahankan bagi menyebarluaskan agama Ini.



maalim fit thariq,sq

Monday, December 13, 2010

forever 21

semangat pemuda tak sama dengan semangat kaum tua.

tenaga yang ada pada rijal yang berumur 21 tahun tidak sama dengan yang berusia 50 tahun.

masalah yang dihadapi individu yang berusia 21 tahun tidak begitu banyak dibanding dengan mereka yang lebih makan garam.

akal yang berusia 21 tahun lebih tajam dari yang telah pikun dek usia.

kelapangan waktu bagi yang berusia 21 tahun lebih banyak berbanding yang sudah bekerja, berkeluarga, ber-segala-galanya.


makanya,

tiada alasan untuk yang berusia 21 tahun ini untuk berpatah ke belakang, futur, lemah, tiada semangat, malas apabila berjuang di jalan ini.

semangat yang ada pada si 21 hari ini harus dikekalkan, bahkan ditingkatkan buat selamanya.
bukan dibunuh semangat itu, bukan untuk dibebankan dengan tarikan dunia yang makin menggila.

sebagaimana muhammad al-fateh (dengan izinNya) mampu membuka constantinople tika berusia 21 tahun, jiwa itu yang harus ada pada yang berusia 21 tahun di zaman ini.


Impian Umar al- Farouq:
"aku mengimpikan rijal seperti Abu Ubaidah bin al Jarrah, Muaz bin Jabal dan Salim, hamba Abu Huzaifah. Lalu aku meminta pertolongan dari mereka untuk meninggikan kalimah Allah”.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

snow white

hati manusia macam snow.

asalnya sangatla putih. cantik sangat. sejuk mata memandang.
pulak tu,
takde satu hablur pun yang sama dengan hablur yang lain.

tapi,
lama- lama snow putih jadi kotor.
dipijak- pijak. ada tapak kaki. berbekas- bekas.
jadi kotor. umpama lumpur.

salji yang beku (read: blum cair) tak boleh nak buat amende.

bila cair jadi air, kite leh wat macam2 dgn air tu :)



bila hati beku, fikrah tak mengalir.

bila hati banyak anasir luar, boleh jadi berbekas- bekas. dah tak cantik dah.

bila kotor, hati gelap macam lumpur.

Monday, November 29, 2010

sacrifice

a week has passed since eid al-adha.

qurban comes from the word 'qarib' which means near. hampir. rapat. dekat.


from the translation, an- nahar also brings the similar meaning. and if you look into your terjemah al-quran it's added in a bracket there, "untuk mendekatkan diri kepada Tuhanmu".

Allah itu baik, dan hanya menerima yang terbaik sahaja.
Jika Qabil hanya meletakkan sayuran yang sudah layu sebagai qurban, Habil itu berbeza. cintanya kepada Yang Satu membuatkannya memberikan yg terbaik buat Tuhannya Yang Satu itu.

kalau kita sayang something, of course we'll give our best for it. Bukan sekadar gitu- gitu je. bukan sekadar cukup syarat, as a formality sahaja. tapi, sebaik- baiknya.
Allah itu baik, dan hanya akan menerima yang terbaik sahaja.

banyak yang berfikir untuk mengorbankan harta, masa, tenaga yang ada ke jalanNya.
tapi kadang2 kita lupa, perasaan kita juga milikNya.
Feeling is a creation.
creation siapa? mesti lah Dia.

bila sudah bersama- sama di dlm jalan D & T, kadang kala kita terlepas pandang ciptaan yg satu ini. Lupa yg Allah bukan sekadar mahu kita berkorban masa, harta dan tenaga, tapi juga perasaan. Mungkin ada yg sering termakan hati dgn sikap sahabat yg lain. Ada yg hanya memikirkan perasaan hati sendiri tanpa sedar sikapnya itu mampu membunuh semangat sahabat yg lain. Ada yg terlalu mementingkan kesukaan sendiri sampai mengganggu kelancaran perjalanan teman yg lain.

there's one time, i know i hurt this friend of mine a lot. taking herself for granted as she's always a cheerful person, plus sikap dia yg secara zahir tampak 'macam x kesah', i knew i hurt her. Once i asked her, "mesti selalu kecik hati dgn aku, kan? tak pernah kisah ke?"
jika bukan di jalan Ini, pastinya dia cakap, "mestila aku x suka kau. selalu sangat dah kecik hati." (this is what i will say if i was her).
tapi, jalan Ini mengubah paradigma kita. untuk melihat perkara yg lebih besar dari perkara yg tidak berapa besar ini. Jawapan sahabat saya,
"Ada la jugak terasa. tapi tak payah risau lah. Masalah umat lagi besar."

........

selama ni, sahabat saya dah fikir perkara yg lagi besar, sampai dia dah tak perlu besarkan perkara yg kecik2 ni.
Faham maksud berjiwa besar?
Jiwanya sangat besar, sampai perkara yang kecil2 ni dianggap kerdil je. Tak menjejaskan jiwanya yg besar itu, yg akan dikorbankan buat Allah.
kata Hasan al- Banna, "tingkatan ukhuwah yg paling rendah itu adalah berlapang dada. Itsar adalah yg paling tinggi, yg mana kita mendahulukan org lain lebih dari diri sendiri".
kalau berlapang dada pun kita tak mampu, tak wujud la ukhuwah fillah yg konon dicanang- canangkan tu.


setakat mana kita mampu untuk mengorbankan perasaan kita ciptaan Allah itu utk mencapai tahap itsar ini demi redhaNya?

Friday, November 5, 2010

mould



“Manusia itu seperti logam, terpilihnya mereka semasa jahiliyyah terpilih juga mereka semasa Islam, sekiranya mereka faham”


maybe some of us has encountered this hadith for so many times.
hebatnya seseorang tu semasa jahiliyah, hebat la juga dia semasa islam, andainya dia faham.
hebat semasa islam = seandainya dia faham.
faham apa?
faham matlamat hidup. tujuan dia diciptakan.
kenapa kita diciptakan?
dah banyak kali sebut dah. fikir sendiri. cari dalam alquran.


bukan pasal ni yang saya nak kongsi hari ni.
tapi pasal 1 benda. yg buat saya rasa, "whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa, betul la~~!"
recently banyak benda jadi. banyak sangat sampai tangan ni tak tercatch up dengan apa yg ada dalam kepala saya. things happened, yang kadang2 buat orang itu volatile.
cuma saya nak kongsi pandangan sister ini tentang hadis kat atas ni.
"kalau awak rasa awak tak boleh berubah, tolong jangan fikir macam tu. manusia ni logam. logam tu boleh dilentur. kalau awak tak rasa boleh berubah, tipu sebab kita sebenarnya boleh dilentur."

kalau tengok peribahasa "melentur buluh biar dari rebung", saya rasa x valid la peribahasa melayu ni. betul kena lentur dari rebung, tapi salah bila kita umpamakan manusia tu macam buluh. seolah- olah kita dah x boleh nak berubah bila dah tua.
orang kata, bila orang tu dah umur 40 tahun, kalau dia jahat time tu, sampai bebila pun dia akan jahat sebab dah susah nak ubah perangai bila dah tua.
tapi,
awak dah lupa ke
as syahid Sayyid Qutb?
Dia temui Islam itu, faham Islam itu, berubah 180 darjah itu, lahir sebagai insan baru itu tika usianya hampir menganjak separuh abad.

manusia itu logam. bukan buluh.
siapa cakap? Rasulullah cakap.

kadang-kadang, kita rasa ada je benda yang kita susaaaaaah sangat nak ubah dalam diri kita. kita rasa perkara itu kebiasaan. Tapi kebiasaan itu lah sebenarnya jahiliyah kita. Benda yang halang kita terima hidayah Allah. yang halang kita terima pendapat orang lain. yang buat kita rasa susah nak berubah, sampai boleh affect jalan dakwah kita. affect sahabat seperjuangan lain keliling kita. awak tak rasa bersalah ke kalau macam tu??
ingat! masyarakat muslim itu, daulah islam itu terbina dari individu- individu muslim yang faham.
i.n.d.i.v.i.d.u.

awak susah nak berubah?
awak tu logam.
boleh dilentur.
bernilai. sampai orang perlu gali untuk cari.
bukan buluh.
yang ada tepi sungai.
yang kena tebang bila raya datang.
yang kena letup untuk buat meriam.

Friday, October 8, 2010

graffity

i still remember that back then in KMB, there's a classmate of mine who tried to talk about graffity in her english oral exam. interesting enough to capture teen's heart i must say.

graffity.

it sounds wrong.

it sounds terrible, immoral, bad, bla bla bla bla blaaaaaaaaaa...

they paint the walls, they spray the colours, they attract attention.

indeed, i love looking at all those paintings, as if i can read their mind through that.

it may sounds wrong if it's 'tak kena tempat'.

but looking at these, for once i smile :)















these were taken near central market LRT station. everytime i commute there, i'll always wonder what kind of painting will show up there. and truly, this time it moved my heart. because i know, not all of us are ignorant. and some are just smart enough to use graffity to attract public attention. or better put, they know that what they got is what they're going to use to spread the message.


Allah created us complex enough, special enough for this life. it's such a waste if we dont know what's the potential that we've got inside us.

so,

show us what's you've got.

no.

show Him what you've got.



p/s: while people are happy with the syawal, new opening semester, bla bla bla, we shall never forget that people out there are still fighting for survival of their land. (it's our land too by the way).

Monday, September 6, 2010

chasing after... what?

looking at newspapers on the coffee table, they make me sick. frustrated.
what's hot right now?
heh.
the never-ending inter-nation conflict. you know what i mean.

a year back, i was granted by my sponsor (read: Allah) to further my study in medicine, in this country. compared to other favourable countries, this country that I'm going is rewarded with earthquakes, volcano eruptions, dense population of human race, high inequality of income distribution, and not to forget, the endless inter-nation conflict with my own country.

for a normal medic student, we might put a 'doctor' to be solely our dream.
apa- apa pun orang tanya, "saya tak kesah apa pun yang jadi, yang saya tahu, saya nak dan akan jadi doktor jugak~!"
wahhhh.... determined sungguh student ini.
Tiada apa yang salah di situ. Apa yang diimpikan itu tidak salah, because that's what will drive the student forward.
Tapi, awak penah tak fikir other possibilities yang boleh jadi?

previously, medic students in Padang had been called back and can't further their studies in this country because of the massive earthquake that hit their area last year. well, jakarta isn't an exception.
plus, the inter-nation conflict that mainly targetting people in jakarta. and it isnt far from where i'm staying truly.

so many (negative)thoughts running in my head. and if one think of it too much, one can eventually breaks down to tears.

pernah fikir tak,
" kalau saya tak jadi doktor, saya akan jadi apa?"
" dah nak masuk 2 tahun belajar medic, tiba2 biasiswa ditarik balik, saya nak buat apa?"
" macam mana kalau saya mati before saya sempat graduate?"




........

kita hidup, bukan setakat nak kejar degree/ license to be a doctor tu je.
there's gotta be more to life than that.
and there's more in the after life.
kalau awak setakat fikir nak jadi doktor, specialist, consultant, habisla awak bila cita2 awak tu tak kesampaian. Habisla awak bila Allah takdirkan bukan itu yang terbaik untuk awak jadi. takut tak? takut tak? :P

Tanya balik diri awak, doktor je ke yang saya nak jadi? Tak nak lebih dari itu?

Ingat balik tujuan hidup kita,
kenapa kita dicipta.
Then you'll be relieved + calm for whatever He has decided for you.
Tak kisahla negara yang awak pergi aman ke tak, awak betul- betul jadi doktor ke tak, sebab awak tahu, ada sesuatu yang lebih penting dari itu semua. Awak tahu ada benda yang lebih besar yang awak kejar berbanding cita- cita yang kecil itu. Awak tahu awak kejar sesuatu yang takkan berakhir kat dunia ni je, tapi boleh bawa sampai ke alam sana.


Tanya balik diri awak,
"Apa sebenarnya yang saya kejar sekarang ni?"

whatever it is, pray that Allah gives us the strength to face whatever He has decided for us. and there's nothing to worry, sebab
"Allah kan ada :) "

p/s: dulu saya suka sangat lagu there's gotta be more to life by stacie oricco. listening to it right now from different point of view makes me appreciate the lyric more :) o0h terima kasih juga kpd konflik yang tak habis2 ni. you add up some spice in my journey + you make me think again of what i'm chasing after. betulkan niat insyaAllah. Thanks Allah :)

Friday, August 27, 2010

cantik itu persepsi

it has been exactly a year since the day i arrived here. and this is what i wrote back then. n true enough, I know that He has placed me right at where i belong. Grateful enough, happy enough, content enough as He is the best planner of all.

"Allah itu maha adil. dia letak kita betul di tempat yg sepatutnya."


pengisian yg saya dpt 2 3 hari di malaysia ni, sgt2 meaningful. rezeki yg Allah bg itu adalah utk dekatkan diri kita pd Allah. pd pandangan manusia, ada yg buruk, ada yg baik. tapi bg Allah, Allah memang dah letak semuanya pd condition yg terbaik utk kita dekatkn diri pd Allah. be it kita suka/ x, itulah rezeki terbaik yg Allah bg utk kita yg akan dekatkn kita pd Dia. but it depends on individu itu sndri, to exploit rezeki yg Dia bg itu atau tidak.
(bicara soal takdir mmg selalu meng'amaze'kan saya ^^ )



When I said Jakarta, what comes into your mind?
Months before, what I thought was an urban city, dusts, noise, pollution, lack of modernization and urbanisation, a city that is left behind compared to other capitals in this world. Ugliness.
Mind me, I had only been in this country when I was 4 years old. Itu pun I went to Sumatera, not this Java Island. With tourism agency. And tourist guide. Huhu.

Touch down.

Arrival time 1455 pm, 27 August 2009.


What’s on my mind before is nearly accurate, plus the famous traffic jam and lots of people selling anything they can in the middle of the road to win the bread for their selves and family. ‘Pengamen’, dorongan,* you name it, you will see it on the streets of Jakarta.

I hate big cities. I can’t stand the noise, I can’t stand many people walking around me and I feel lost in translation. I hate their prejudice towards the people of my country, I hate them for recognizing me as one. Ooh, I generalize too much. Not all of them, some of them only.

The place I’m living now and for the next 5 years is a big city. Really big and busy. Bigger and busier than Kuala Lumpur. The drains are clogged, the rivers are black, the streets are crowded with houses, and the passerbies are all full with people selling many things, trying to attract your attention. The streets are dusty since it’s rarely raining here (except for January and February when rain brings flood), smeared with spits and sometimes you can even see the phlegm. Dogs barking, rats moving around happily at night and even bats are flying above you. Cats are dirty, no more adorable.


Are you whining, Basirah?

No, I'm not.

There’s this one day. I walked along this street and suddenly the wind blew. Leaves are falling gracefully, like you see when autumn comes. I stopped and lookup to the bright sky, trying to seal the moment.

Yesterday I walk back alone from my friend’s house. A dirty cat walked near me. I cooed him a bit, and the cat even walks with me all my way back. A companion when you never expected it, I must say.

The other day, I went to pasar pagi near my neighbourhood. It’s like Pasar Tani basically. With many more variety of things being sold. It’s dirty, but here in this country, who cares.


Here, I love to see the dorongan passing by in front of my house, tukang jahit bergerak yang bawa mesin jahit pegi mana2 pun, playground yang penuh dengan orang dewasa n kanak2, es buah and gado2 yang sedap, warteg n warkop* yang provide cheap food, naik bajaj yang menyeronokkan, my housemates yang eventhough we are all from different races and religions tapi sangat2 baik n memahami, jalanraya yang sentiasa busy tapi adventurous, dan baaaaanyak lagi.

I grow accustomed to all of it now.There are many scenes happening around me that is worth being portrayed. For me, even pakcik yang jual2 tepi jalan tu pun worth a snap. People are really an attractive subject to be pictured.

Train our eyes to see beauty in every happening around us.

Since I only got Jakarta for me to be appreciated, I got to make the best out of it, aite?

I don’t have Edinburgh to admire, Cliff of Moher to awe, buildings of Prague to fantasize. I don’t find koala to hug or kiwi fruits to take back.

Since You give me Jakarta, I guess it’s my responsibility to make the best out of it.

Stop whining or blaming your fate.

See beauty in every of His creations.

Shift your paradigm.

This is written after 2 months I’ve been here. Not that this country doesn’t have any picturesque spot. I don’t reach Bandung, Yogyakarta and Bali yet, which are famous for their natural beauty.

*Pengamen: Musician on the streets, usually playing guitar and singing in the middle of the road during traffic jam, intending to obtain some money from the driver/ passengers.
* Dorongan: Orang jual2 yang bergerak.
* Warteg: warung tegar, selling food like nasi campur bla bla.
* warkop: warung kopi.
* bajaj: tricycle with engine. Very loud engine.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

when she wished for a brain tumour

this is a story of an 11 years old kid, who dreamt to die with a brain tumour.

she knew that it is painful, but she cant help herself to wish for it.
she felt loveless, unappreaciated in her family, as the middle child used to be left on her own as others think that she's able to take care of herself since she's neither the oldest nor the youngest. she tried her hardest to be as smart her older siblings, to be at least significant to her family. most nights she cried in her sleep as she pushed her emotions deep deep in her heart, thinking nobody cares for her.
that's why she wished for a brain tumour, so that she will caught the attention of her family, and to know that suddenly when everyone know that she got the tumour, everyone will also give extra care for her.
or when she dies, everyone will wept for her.
and they will remember her as 'the-one-who-died-because-of-brain-tumour'.
especially for her family, she wanted them to regret their inappreciativeness towards her.

every now and then when she got a headache, she will asked herself, "is this it? is it a tumour?"
when the pain subsided, she will sighed...

nearly a decade passed,
she realized that she no longer wish for it.
to remember back how desperate she was years years ago to wish for a brain tumour, she can laugh out loud at her pathetic self those years ago.

when she found her meaning of life,
she knows that there's gotta be more to life.
she will not make anyone worry, as she knows that there's a huge responsibility that she's taking in her life, that she's paying with her soul.
either her soul is valuable or not, that is what she will present to The One she trades with soon. She wants to stay strong, making her life valuable to her creator.

“We are all waiting for the day to die. Either it is by Apache, or by cardiac arrest.. it is the same. I prefer Apache!” - as-syahid Abdul al- Aziz al- Rantisi.



She never know of how she will die,
but she prays that Allah gives her the strength so that she will die not as 'just-another-patient', but the one who will leave a mark in other's journey of life.

o0h, it's fine if no one remembers her.
Most importantly, she wants His ridha upon her.

That might and will satisfies her insyaAllah.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

eat your veggies~!

truly, saya tak suka sayur hijau. ye, daun itu.
bayam hijau, bayam merah, kangkung, kailan, sawi, sebutla semua sayur hijau yg wujud atas muka bumi ni.


eventually,
it has taken its toll on me.
tak sihat satu hal, lepas tu orang slalu kata, "hilang 1 nikmat kat dunia ni."
pernah 1 time when i was in form 4, terpaksa berpantang makan sebab on medications. the only thing i can eat at dat time was green veggies. nak tak nak, makan jugak la.
"Hurm..boleh je makan walaupun terpaksa. bukannya teruk sangat pun."
betul, tapi time tu je la saya mkn sayur hijau.lepas2 tu dah tak suka balik.



skarang atas sebab2 tertentu, saya try blaja makan sayur hijau. betul rasa dia macam daun, tapi daun ni la yg sihat, betul tak?

kadang- kadang, kita selalu ignore kebaikan satu- satu benda tu, just sebab kita x suka. bukannya reason apa pun, tapi ntah, sebab tak suka, sebab tu kita tak nak.
Benda tu dah obviously leads to kebaikan, tapi kita tak nak buat simply sebab 'saya tak suka.' Say, kerja sekolah yg melambak2, tepati masa, hormat mak ayah.

Ultimately, alasan 'saya tak suka' ni boleh affect hubungan kita dengan Dia. Kadang2 kita rasa macam restriction, tapi itu yg terbaik buat kita. Sama macam makan sayur, nampak cam tak best, tapi itu yg bagus. Lebih2 lagi, bila semua suruhan tu datang dari Dia. Dia yang cipta kita, so Dia tahu apa yg terbaik untuk kita. Siapa kita untuk cakap 'saya tak suka' atau 'saya tak nak buatlah' kepada Dia?

Amboiii, senang2 je cakap macam tu kat Dia yg dah bagi kita macam- macam.
Melayu mudah lupa?
Heh. Manusia memang mudah lupa.

Meh saya bagi 1 situation.
Kita dah tahu yg sayur itu memang bagus. Kalau kita bersembang dengan orang yang tak suka makan sayur, of course dia akan kata sayur itu tak best dan seribu macam lagi mende yg tak best pasal sayur. Tapi, bila kita berborak dengan org yg suka makan sayur, mesti lain pulak jawapan dia, kan. Kita memang dah tahu sayur tu bagus, so kita nak dengar cakap siapa sekarang ni?


"Sesungguhnya orang- orang yang beriman, dan orang- orang yang berhijrah dan berjihad di jalan Allah, mereka itulah yang mengharapkan rahmat Allah. Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang." (2:218)

"Wahai orang- orang yang beriman, masuklah ke dalam Islam secara keseluruhan,dan janganlah kamu ikuti langkah- langkah syaitan. Sungguh, ia adalah musuh yang nyata bagimu." (2:208)



change= hijrah.
jihad= bersungguh- sungguh.



Dare to change, will we?

Takut?



Allah kan ada :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

sampai bila?

sampai bila nak boikot?

kalau saye jawab sampai bila2 boleh tak?
hohoho.

selagi islam belum menang, selagi palestin belum bebas, selagi saudara2 kita di serata dunia masih ditindas, selagi umat Islam belum bangkit, selagi pemikiran kita masih dijajah oleh kuasa Itu, selagi kita masih duduk berteleku di bawah kuasa Itu, selagi itu kita boikot. Ok tak?

Hari tu, dengan gembiranya kami kanak2 di jakarta pergi kedutaan besar malaysia di jakarta pusat. ada sorang uncle ni, Dr Syed Haleem, one of the volunteer lifeline 4 gaza yg ada dlm kapal mavi marmara itu hari datang ke jakarta. seronok dengar dia cerita macam2. kadang2, goosebumps pun ada jugak bila dia cerita part2 yg menyentuh hati saya sepanjang dia join misi tu. n some days, they even reach to the stage between life & death. tapi, mereka kata mereka x rasa takut pun. seronok lagi ade la.
cool, kan :)

sampai 1 part, masa dia cerita yang kapal tu kena serang, berita tu sampai kat anak dia kat malaysia. Anak dia cakap kat makcik dia, "Makcik, kalau ayah saya mati, boleh tak saya salahkan orang- orang yang masuk Carrefour dengan Mc D tu?"

************




kadang- kadang, kita rasa macam apa yg kita buat ni kecik je. tapi, bagi sesetengah yg lain, benda ni besar. kita tak nampak effect dia directly depan mata, tapi bukan effect itu yg Allah pandang. Allah hitung usaha kita, azam kita, semangat kita walau sekecik zarah pun. semua ni tak sia- sia. usaha kan ke tangga kejayaan. ada paham?

apape pun, kita buat semua ni sebab Allah. cari redha Allah, untuk bantu saudara yg seakidah dengan kita. kalau kita tak tolong, siapa lagi? kalau semua orang dok harapkan orang lain, pi mai pi mai tang tu jugak.



kesimpulan: nak boikot sampai bila?


jawab sendiri.

Friday, July 9, 2010

where's your feet?

plant them firmly on the ground.

True, the very ground that you step.
Because this is what we've been originated from.
The ground. The soil.
Not the fire, nor the light, impossibly the wind.

Who built your house?



It's him, the one that you sometimes minisculed, given sly look when you walk pass the construction site.

Who plant your veggies?






It's them, whom smeared with mud, whom you might think have lower IQ than yours, struggle each day to win the bread for the family, living a different world than yours.

We might say "euww", "urghhh" or whatsoever if we ourselves in their condition, stained with mud and dirt everyday.
But,
We are no different from them.

"Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menciptakan manusia (Adam) dari tanah liat kering (yang berasal) dari lumpur hitam yang diberi bentuk." (QS. Al Hijr, 15:26)


Be it we're an excellent student, normal student, weak student, a prime minister, a housewife, a construction worker, or anything, we're just the same in front of Him. The only thing that differ us is our faith and belief (iman & taqwa) in HIm.
It's undeniably fair, right?
Because we're not looking for the reward of the world (it's a bonus if we get it), but we're looking for the reward from our Creator. in the hereafter.
How cool is that :)

The next time you see people around you, "dont judge a book by it's cover" as the saying goes. It's not their appearance that will be look upon to, but their deeds.
Shame on us if we feel superior than them, just because we're more fortunate than them in terms of money.


Islam is beautiful, isn it? ^_^

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

suffocate

the mud.
it sticks us to the ground.
wet, sticky, hard to be removed, hard to move our own body.
it sticks us to the place where we shouldnt be. instead of flying high, we keep struggling at the same old point.
nothing changed. but ourselves, which getting dirtier and dirtier.

for some, they enjoy themselves to be in the mud. playing, splashing the mud around. some of them might want to come clean, but have no effort to get out of that place. some of them are just too caught up playing, without realizing that they're sinking deeper and deeper into the mud.
there will come one day, when God ask the angel to take their life away, they die drowning in the mud.



*futur itu memenatkan.

futur itu menjauhkan kita dari Dia.

futur itu membuatkan kita kembali bergelumang dengan benda-benda kotor yang kononnya telah kita tinggalkan.

kita tidak mahu menjadi manusia biasa. kita mahu menjadi hamba-Nya yg luar biasa.

"Aku merasa kaget dan hairan mengapa manusia jatuh ke dalam lumpur yg kotor dan penuh penyakit ini? Mengapa mereka tidak mendengar seruan Allah yg Maha Tinggi dan Maha Besar, iaitu seruan yg dapat meluhur dan membersihkan usia seseorang? Mengapa manusia sanggup hidup dalam paya yg busuk, di tahap yg amat rendah dan dalam gelita kesesatan yg menghitam itu, sedangkan mereka mempunyai padang-padang yg bersih, tempat2 tinggi dan cahay yg terang- benderang?" - Syed Qutb, mukaddimah fi zilalil quran.

“Sesungguhnya syaitan itu adalah musuh bagimu, maka anggaplah ia musuh(mu), karena sesungguhnya syaitan-syaitan itu hanya mengajak golongannya supaya mereka menjadi penghuni neraka yang menyala-nyala” .Al-Fathiir : 6


*futur: melemah, hilang semangat,iman berkurang esp dlm memperjuangkan islam.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

open your eyes, will you?

again, from the alchemist (the book has become my favourite so far :D )

Early in the story, when the boy is still a shepherd, a flashback crosses his mind. he remembered the 1st time he mentioned to his father that he wants to become a shepherd so that he could see the world. In his world, a job that could travel most is being a shepherd. he ought to find the best grass, purest water to feed his sheeps. he goes around Spain to find a good grazing field. He had seen many castles and met many people. He can speak Latin, Spanish and even studied theology. The world was huge and inexhaustible, and he had only to allow his sheep to set the route for a while, and he would discover other interesting things. The only regrettable problem is that the sheeps dont ever realize that they're walking a new route every day. They dont see that the fields are new and the seasons change. All that they think about is food and water. "Maybe we are all that way," mused the boy.



It is an irony that the boy had travel to many places with his sheeps, but in the end, he's the one that learn many things (because he wanted to), but his sheeps never aware of happenings around them, and only think of food and water. After travelling to many places, it's such a waste if we're end up being just like the sheep. So many signs of His existence, His mightiness around us. But if we're too caught up in this small world of ours, we end up never realizing anything. Life has too much in store for us. Which leads us to find the truth. Him. Even a single step outside our door could make a difference, if we're aware of where, what, and why we're doing what we have in mind.

Just take sometimes to reflect on our ownselves, can we?

Mereka memiliki hati tetapi tidak digunakannya untuk memahami. Mereka memiliki telinga tetapi tidak digunakan untuk mendengar. Mereka memiliki mata tetapi tidak digunakan untuk melihat. Mereka ini seperti binatang ternak. Bahkan lebih buruk. Mereka adalah orang-orang yang lalai”, (Al A’raf: 179)

Monday, May 17, 2010

where will your dreams bring you?

from The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho. some might say that this book is very symbolic. For me, it's deep indeed. Here is a part from the book that I think really interesting, and should be ponder upon.

(rephrased form, for fear of being accused plagiarised :P )

The main protagonist of the story is a boy whose homeland is in Spain and quit being a shepherd to pursue his dream (which is to find a treasure near Pyramids in Egypt). Series of unfortunate events fall on him, and situation forced him to work in a crystal shop to make some savings so that he can continue his journey to the pyramids. The owner of the shop is a devout muslim (typical in Egypt indeed), who performed the 5 obligations as a muslim well, except for the fifth, the pilgrimage. With watery eyes,the merchant told the boy that since he was a kid, he saved his money so that he can open this shop and someday that he will be rich, he will go to Mecca. It's his biggest dream indeed. Then the boy said to him that now the merchant is rich enough to afford the pilgrimage. So many people passing through the shop everyday to go to Mecca, and some are even poorer than the merchant. What else does the merchant wait for to go there?

The merchant's answer: Because it's the thought of Mecca that keeps me alive. That's what helps me face these days that are all the same, these mute crystals on the shelves and lunch and dinner at that same horrible cafe. I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go on living. I'm different from you. you live to realize your dream, but for me, it's enough to just dream..


It's a pity that the merchant limit his dream to just only go to Mecca for the pilgrimage. Not beyond that. What he says is true, and that's what's happening in our society today. People only live to live a short dream, say, to be a doctor, an engineer, etcetera etcetera.. Once they'll become a doctor, what else will they be? A sub-specialist? then what? then what? and again, then what? it's not wrong to think like what the merchant did as he makes his dream as an inspiration for him to live the present fully. But it's a pity, because he will never go anywhere.

When we dream or put our aim for this world only, then the world is the end of it.
We want to dream big, right?
We believe that there's more to life, right?
We aim for Allah's paradise right?
We dont want our happiness to stop just until we die, right?

rethoric.

Hai orang-orang yang beriman, sukakah kamu Aku tunjukkan suatu perniagaan yang dapat menyelamatkanmu dari azab yang pedih? (yaitu) kamu beriman kepada Allah dan RasulNya dan berjihad di jalan Allah dengan harta dan jiwamu. Itulah yang lebih baik bagimu, jika kamu Mengetahui. Niscaya Allah akan mengampuni dosa-dosamu dan memasukkanmu ke dalam jannah yang mengalir di bawahnya sungai-sungai; dan (memasukkan kamu) ke tempat tinggal yang baik di dalam jannah ‘Adn. Itulah keberuntungan yang besar. (QS : As-Shaff : 10-12)

Friday, April 23, 2010

the notebook(s)

assalamualaikum.

seeing those faces that i always know today, it feels like it has been such a long time since the last time i meet them.
sitting there again. opening up the notebook to jote down anything valuable for this soul of mine.
two notebooks were brought along. one has notes that i got way back from malaysia. as a reference since i'll be listening to a similar topic today.
the other notebook is a fresh one, for me to write anything new today.

the old notebook flipped.
it's a small book. cute one. i kept since i was in standard 6.
too many things were written there.
all the programs that i have been.
many murabbis that have poured their will and soul to open our eyes.
the spirit that this soul felt, elevated when her iman is far from the x- axis.
but why does the Me today has lost those precious feelings?

(at the Heart's door)
knock. knock.
O0h my. it's so hard.
i cant see anything inside.
please shove some light inside so that i can see.




the notebook was closed.
the silly looking handwriting inside it replenishes this heart of mine.
before today, i've learned many things.
that's what the notebook showed me.
it seems like i forgot.
but now i remember again.


Berapa banyak ilmu yang kita sudah pernah peroleh, tapi hanya sedikit yang menjadi fikrah.

Go back and check yourself again.

It will be a waste of many trees that will be cut for the sake of making a notebook, but unfortunately the thing inside the notebook has never been revised, or remembered by it's owner. What a great lost.

"Perumpamaan orang- orang yang diberi tugas membawa Taurat, kemudian mereka tidak membawakannya (tidak mengamalkannya) adalah seperti keldai yang membawa kitab- kitab yang sangat tebal (tetapi tidak memahaminya). Sangat buruk perumpamaan kaum yang mendustakan ayat- ayat Allah. Dan Allah tidak memberi petunjuk kepada orang yang zalim"
Al-Jumu'ah: 05.

Friday, April 2, 2010

tapak

2001.

UPSR.

cikgu: awak semua mesti belajar sungguh-sungguh untuk peperiksaan ni. ia akan menjadi tapak untuk kamu semua untuk dapat tempat di sekolah2 yg bagus nanti. mudahkan awak untuk capai cita2 awak.

2004.

PMR.

cikgu: buat exam ni betul- betul. nanti awak boleh stay di skolah ni, atau awak keluar dan ambil jurusan lain, yg lari dari cita- cita awak. ini tapak untuk awak berjaya.


2006.

SPM.

ini peperiksaan paling penting untuk awak. akan tentukan apa yg awak akan jadi pada masa depan nanti. semuanya nanti terletak pada keputusan peperiksaan ni. inilah tapak untuk kehidupan awak yg akan datang.


2009.

International Baccalaureate exam May 2009.

this is just the beginning of your journey to become a doctor.
again, it's the 'Step'. Tapak .

a friend of mine said,
"asyik tapak je. bila nak betul- betulnya??"

saya tersenyum.
sinis.
(another friend of mine realized i'm smiling cynically)

atmaku berkata:

"Awak lupa yg hidup ni hanya permainan dan senda gurau? tiada yang realiti kat sini. yang 'betul- betul' tu hanya di sana nanti. Afterlife.

Indeed, this world that we're living today is a step towards the other world. the other life. if you cant see beyond this world, then you'll always whining, why does the hardship in this life never ends?

Kenapa susah sangat nak belajar jadi doktor ni?
Kenapa banyak sangat exam ni?
Kenapa tebal sangat buku anatomi ni?
Kenapa lama sangat belajar nak grad ni?
Kenapa aku pilih nak jadi doktor dulu?
Kenapa, kenapa, kenapa?

Try ketuk sikit kepala awak tu. Suruh kepala awak fikir. Apa yang awak kejar kat dunia ni selain cita-cita awak yg takdela hebat sangat tuh. Sila jawab.




apa yang kita kejar sebenarnya?

hidup = sentiasa membuat kita terkejar- kejar,

jika kita tidak nampak matlamat hidup.

tidak nampak destinasi hidup terakhir.

tidak nampak apa yang menunggu di sebalik yang zahir.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

bedtime story :)

ada cerita best saya nak share dengan semua :) sila baca dengan sabar, kerana- Nya :)

Sesungguhnya Kami (Allah) telah menguji mereka sebagaimana Kami (Allah) telah menguji pemilik-pemilik kebun, ketika mereka bersumpah bahawa mereka akan memetiknya di pagi hari.

tetapi mereka tidak menyebut pengecualian (dengan mengatakan InsyaAllah.
Maka kebun itu didatangi serta diliputi oleh bala bencana dari Tuhanmu (pada malam hari), sedang mereka semua tidur.
Lalu menjadilah ia sebagai kebun yang telah binasa semua buahnya.
Kemudian pada pagi-pagi, mereka panggil memanggil antara satu dengan yang lain.

(Setengahnya berkata): "Pergilah pada pagi-pagi ke kebun kamu, kalau betul kamu mahu memetik buahnya".
Maka pergilah mereka sambil berbisik-bisikan,"janganlah ada seorang miskin pun masuk ke dalamnya (kebun kamu) pada hari ini.”


Dan pergilah mereka pada pagi-pagi itu, dengan kepercayaan, (bahawa) mereka berkuasa menghampakan fakir miskin dari hasil kebun itu.

Sebaik-baik sahaja mereka melihat kebunnya, mereka berkata: "Sebenarnya kita sesat jalan, (ini bukanlah kebun kita)".
Setelah mereka perhati dengan teliti, mereka berkata: "Tidak! Kita tidak sesat, bahkan kita orang-orang yang dihampakan (dari hasil kebun kita, dengan sebab ingatan buruk kita sendiri)".

Berkatalah orang yang bersikap adil di antara mereka: "Bukankah aku telah katakan kepada kamu (semasa kamu hendak menghampakan orang-orang fakir miskin dari habuannya): amatlah elok kiranya kamu mengingati Allah (serta membatalkan rancangan kamu yang jahat itu)?"
Mereka berkata (dengan sesalnya): "Maha Suci Tuhan Kami! Sesungguhnya kami adalah orang-orang yang berlaku zalim!"

Lalu sebahagian mereka menghadapi sebahagian yang lain, saling menyalahkan.
Mereka berkata: "Aduhai celakalah kita! Sesungguhnya kita ini adalah orang yang melampaui batas.”
“Mudah-mudahan Rab (Tuhan) kita memberikan ganti kepada kita dengan yang lebih baik daripada itu. Sesungguhnya kita mengharapkan ampunan dari Tuhan kita."

Seperti itulah azab (di dunia). Dan sesungguhnya azab akhirat lebih besar jika mereka mengetahui.

(al-Qalam: 17-33).

Sangat comel bila pekebun2 ni reflect diri masing-masing bila terjadi sesuatu yang buruk pada mereka. Mereka tidak menyalahkan ulat yg merosakkan buah, tanah yang tandus atau baja yang kurang. Sebaliknya, mereka menyalahkan diri sendiri atas kezaliman yang mereka sendiri lakukan. Subhanallah~! Semoga lepas ni, kalau ada apa- apa yang kita x suka terjadi, kita reflect diri kita dulu eh. recheck mana2 dosa yg makin menimbun :)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

What do you do when you're alone?

Dari Tsauban radhiyallahu ‘anhu, Rasululllah shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam bersabda,

“Sungguh aku akan menemui orang dari kalangan umatku, mereka datang pada hari kiamat dengan membawa kebaikan pahala seberat gunung Tihamah berwarna putih.Kemudian Allah menjadikannya seperti debu-debu berterbangan (sia-sia)." Thauban bertanya, "Wahai Rasulullah, ceritakan kepada kami, dan beritahulah kami lagi supaya kami tidak menjadi seperti mereka." Baginda bersabda, "Mereka adalah saudara-saudaramu, dan dari kaummu sendiri. Mereka beribadah pada malam hari seperti kamu beribadah, tetapi apabila bersendirian mereka suka mengerjakan perbuatan yang diharamkan oleh Allah.”

(Hadis riwayat Ibnu Majah).



Cuak sangat. Bila cuti, kita dok rumah. dah tiada kawan- kawan yang mengingatkan kita. Tarbiyah dzatiyah perlu mantap. Tarbiyah itu perlu dicari. Sama ada kita disibukkan dengan kebaikan, atau kita disibukkan dengan keburukan. Antara dua, tiada yang di tengah-tengah. Kita tidak mahu amal kita jadi sia-sia. Poooof~! Hilang, hanya kerana dosa yang kita lakukan, sewaktu tiada yang melihat.


Lupa kot, yang Allah tu, Maha Melihat.



fear of Allah's fire aren't we?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

till we meet again in the afterlife. insyaallah.

saya sayang ayah, saya sayang mak, saya sayang kakak, saya sayang abang, saya sayang adik- adik saya. sudah 4 hari di bumi malaysia. tidur bangun bersama ahli keluarga. keluarga yang Allah sediakan buat saya, sedari saya lahir, hingga 20 tahun kemudiannya ini. sayang sangat mereka. bila di depan mata, suka mendengar cerita mereka. hari ni kakak di tempat kerja begini begini. abang dengan persiapan perkahwinannya yang never ending. izzati dengan penat lelah kerja part-time di petronas, padahal hati berdebar menanti keputusan spm. aziz dengan pengalaman menjadi ajk pengawas, latihan sukan yang memenatkan, bakugan b-daman yang susah nak dipasang. mak bercerita itu ini, ayah dengan kerjayanya. suka dengar cerita mereka. terasa bahawa masa sedang berputar, bumi ini berubah, mereka semua kian matang, dewasa dalam percaturan masing-masing. Allah, sungguh, saya sayang mereka.

saya bimbang, sedih

Allah, adakah di akhirat nanti, Kau takdirkan kami untuk bertemu kembali?

sungguh, saya tak mahu kalau di dunia ini kami bersama, tapi di akhirat nanti terpisah. kerna sungguh, dunia ini permainan, senda gurau dan ujianMu semata. saya mahu kami semua lulus ujian dari Mu. kami semua menjadi tetamu Firdaus Mu. tiada yang tertinggal di Jahim. tiada yang gugur di Hawiyah.

Kau banyak kali menyebut, di hari Akhir itu, anak-anak akan terpisah dengan orang tuanya, tiada kaitan sewaktu di perhitungan. Jika begitu Allah, jadikan aku, kami, di dunia ini sebagai anak-anak yang mampu memberatkan timbangan amal kedua ibu bapa kami. Jangan Kau jadikan kami sebagai punca beratnya keburukan mereka.

kadangkala, terasa bahawa ku menyayangi mereka yang bersama di jalan tarbiyah ini adakalanya melebihi ikatan darah dengan keluarga itu sendiri. Kenapa? kerana ikatan ini terbina kerana Dia. Tapi, ku mahu bertemu kembali keluarga darahku ini di akhirat kelak.

Basirah, awak boleh fikir sendiri. sekarang, ini tanggungjawab awak. baitul muslim yang sebenar, yang Allah kurniakan sedari awak lahir lagi. teringat murabbiku memujukku tatkala ku gagal hadir ke satu program atas sebab yg memg tak dapat dielakkan,"Takpe, keluarga awak lebih memerlukan awak sekarang insyaAllah. Keluarga kita ni, adalah mad'u yang allah dah sediakan buat kita, yang dah memang ada.tak perlu nak cari-cari lagi dah.Guna betul- betul peluang yang ada dengan keluarga awak." Subhanallah..baru hari ni saya betul-betul rasa apa yg akak cakap. Benar. orang sibuk memikirkan soal pernikahan, mahu membina bait al- muslim itu. tapi, adakah baitul muslim yang memang kita miliki sedari awal ini sudah benar-benar terjaga? Tepuk hati, tanya iman.


saya mahu kita semua sama-sama masuk syurga. Syurga Allah itu luas. boleh muat ramai2 insyaAllah :) tapi, harganya tak murah. kita perlu bereskan pinjaman kita dengan Allah dulu, then baru boleh masuk. JOm2 :)

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

the enemy of all mankind

02.03.2010.

a message received.
"boleh tak awak tolong akak. akak x dapat keluar.parents x bagi. Kak A mintak tolong bagi pengisian utk adik2 In** esok."

Gulp. (not Gulp at seven11 tuh.)

sms by sms replied and sent, A agree. still, without her parents' permission to go out.yet. but usually, her parents will allow it anyway. but what bothering A most is about the task she accepted. her plan: to tadabbur al-Muzammil with them. Hurm, seems that A needs to skype with someone so that she can revise the surah together with a friend. Time passed. It's already night. Online, online. then I called from cardiff. (whatever is she doing at cardiff dis time :P ) Allah, this is just in time~! but soon after, they didnt revise the surah at all. They talked and talked and talked, catching up after few months apart. but it's fine, as A feels her spirit is anew, back in track again after few days strayed because of the holiday mood. thanks to I, J and Al.

It's morning. Well, 10am. A just woke up. feeling shocked and nervous as she isnt prepared for the meeting that will take place on the evening. "Allah, nak pergi ke x nak? nak pergi ke x nak? Boleh je bagi alasan apa-apa kalau x nak pergi." and soon after, she felt her stomach aches. just a minor one, but will be a good reason for not going to the meeting. "At least i'll not lie since my stomache really aches." and plus, A didnt ask her mom's permission yet. Pray that her mom will not allow her, so she'll actually dont have to go. Good2.
All of this happens as A felt she's unprepared to give the 'pengisian'.
A texted kak A, telling "nak cakap ape nanti?" "takutla" "dorang ramai x? macam mana eh dorang", and so many2 questions. kak A calmly replied, "Takpe, Allah akan bersama2 awak". :)
A knows that her feeling is just whispers from the devil. She's torned into two. At one point, she nearly nod to the evil whispers. with an excuse, "takpe, weekend ni ada program lain.boleh pergi lagi nanti." Another part of her just know what is right, and what is wrong.

Awak nak ke biar syaitan tu menang? Awak nak ke disibukkan dengan membuka channel Axn, animax, hbo instead of disibukkan dengan kebaikan yang dah memang dioffer depan mata? Awak nak ke hari awak terbuang macam tu je?

With a heavy heart, A switch off the tv. Head upstairs. Swith on her lappy. Google and surf about al- Muzammil. (she left all her notes abroad.huhu). wrote some notes on a still-clean book. take rapid kl. ride komuter. meet kak A. ride to In**.


hari ni, A sangat gembira. Dia jumpa adik2 In**, bersemangat melihat mereka2 yang sudah terbuka matanya, sudah bersedia memikul beban dakwah. Kalau mereka semangat, A perlu lebih2 lagi semangat~! dalam perjalanan pulang, A naik unser bersama 3 kakak2. kakak2 yang sudah lama di jalan ini. suka mendengar cerita mereka. semuanya berkisarkan D & T. tiada yg melencong. Allah tak suka percakapan yang sia-sia. Ingat tu.


Above all, tak rugi pun kalau kita tak dengar cakap2 syaitan tu. Dorang tu jahat wo0~



"Berangkatlah kamu sama ada dalam keadaan ringan mahupun berat, dan berjihadlah dengan harta dan nyawa kamu di jalan Allah. Yang demikian itu lebih baik bagi kamu jika kamu mengetahui." -Surah At-Taubah, ayat 41.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

02.03.2010. part 2 (between a rabbit and a cat)

still on the same day. reached home from Pasar Seni, mak asked me to drive,sending aziz off to sport practise. then we head to my sister's house. the electricians will come to install waterheater at her house (she recently moved), and she's still at her workplace, so mak n me went there to watch the house. time passed,the waterheater men still didnt come. it's about time for aziz's practise finishes, so mak decided that she'll go to fetch him,while i stay at the house n wait for the waterheater men. i wait n wait. it's nearly 7.30pm. kakak still doesnt reach home yet.same goes to the waterheater men. haiyaa, kalau mau mali, mali cepat2 lor.buat penat olang tunggu saja~
saya sempat buat teh, masak cucur adabi.

tang tang tang. orang ketuk pagar. haaaa sampai pun orang waterheater nih. bukak2 je pintu, seekor arnab berlari masuk dalam umah. waaa macam mana nak halau dia keluar ni. kalut nak layan arnab,nak tengok orang waterheater tu lagi. kemudian, orang2 waterheater tu sibuk tanya. "Itu arnab ada olang punya ka?" at first saya geleng. sebab still tengah kalut n celaru,nak tengok arnab yg curi masuk rumah tu atau layan orang2 waterheater itu. then dorang kata, "kalau tala olang punya,kasi masuk ini lori.arnab buat makan sedap woo0." minda terhenti. reaksi spontan,"Eh, ada2 orang punya. Jangan tangkap arnab ni." Siyes saya sangat2 takut kalau orang2 tu betul2 tangkap dan makan arnab2 ni. Rabbits are friend. Not food~!

Lepas tunjuk kat mana nak pasang waterheater tu, cepat2 call kakak. BIla kamu nak balik ni???? hurm2. lepas tu tengok arnab. Happy je dia lompat2 dalam rumah.naik sofa, celah buku-buku. belakang Tv. then dia berenti melompat.ku cuba nak angkat. mak aihh, nampak je kurus.berat juga arnab ni. then terfikir,"Arnab gigit orang ke tak eh?" terus ku lepas arnab tu.huhu. bagi roti boy sikit, gembira arnab ni lompat2. dah bosan ngan roti boy, arnab berenti makan. o0h, ada makanan hamster.kalau ikut plastik makanan hamster ni, arnab pun leh makan gak. jadi ku beri la sikit pada arnab tu. padahal tu memang dah last portion utk hamster2 tu dah. takpela.biasanya kakak bagi m&m kat hamsters dia. hihi. lepas makan,arnab lompat2 lagi.adehh. pastu waterheatermen sibuk drill dinding atas.bunyi gerudi kuat sangat. telinga arnab sakit.terkejut gayanya. terus dia lari keluar. takut dia lari jauh2, cuba utk tarik dia dgn makanan. alhamdulillah dia datang balik :) tengah sibuk2 bagi dia makan, tiba2 dengar bunyi "meowww". o0h.ada kucing itam.macam kucing dalam kiki delivery service :) o0h.xde makanan nak diberi. kat dalam rumah,semuanya frozen. hurm, last2 roti boy dengan cucur adabi tu yg dimakan. lapar sangat eh kucing. kalau awak ni spesis herbivore,awak pun leh makan makanan hasmter tu :p



saya tak nak tulis sampai habis.cumanya,reflect diri sendiri. bagaimana kita menjaga mad'u- mad'u kita, ukhuwah dengan rakan2 kita, hubungan dengan keluarga kita. risau kalau pet hilang, adakah kita risau tatkala mad'u- mad'u kita menjauhkan diri?

02.03.2010. part 1 (reminiscing)

6.30am.

"kakyang,bangun kakyang. kan kakyang nak ikut hari ni."


kakak ini pun bangun.sebab segan. dan tak sampai hati. sebab adik yg darjah 4 tu yang kejutkan.dah siap pakai seragam pengawas.lengkap dengan vest.rambut dah pakai brylcream. kakak yang seorang ni kalut nak solat.mandi.kejar masa,takut ayah tinggalkan. saya perlu ke klia hari ini. nak reinstate nombor yg dah expired di celcom centre.

ayah hantar sampai ke putrajaya sentral.senang.kalau hantar ke klia terus, nanti ayah yang tak sempat masuk pejabat. i'll forever be doomed. saya yang volunteer nak naik erl. dah biasa naik. insyaallah ok je. beli return ticket.ke putrajaya sentral kembali nanti.

sampai klia. pergi arrival hall. masa pulang ke malaysia pertama kali disember lalu,di sinilah family saya tunggu. tahun2 sebelumnya,kami yang muka bersinar-sinar, tunggu kakak sulung pulang dari negara matahari terbit itu.
jumpa celcom centre. get things done.alhamdulillah.lepas ni,siapa2 nak contact saya,saya still guna no.lama, ya :) naik erl, ke putrajaya sentral. since it's only 9.00am, obviously tiada siapa yg akan ambil saya di sini. jadi, saya tunggu bas di aras bawah sentral.tika masih di kmb,inilah tempat yg tiap2 bulan akan kami kunjungi. naik bas dari banting ke sini. kemudian menunggu bas ke kl sentral. jika mengejar masa, terus saja membeli tiket erl rm9.50 itu. untuk ke daurah. beramai2 membawa beg, berbicara tentang Dia yang satu. suka sangat :)

nak katanya, sebenarnya dekat sangat puchong dengan putrajaya tu. tapi since tiada bas direct ke puchong (mungkin ada, tapi saya x tahu), jadi saya dengan gembiranya ambil bas ke kl. pasar seni. boleh je ambil teksi, tapi perkhidmatan teksi di malaysia bukan seperti di jakarta, sorry to say. saya lagi takut naik teksi di negara sendiri compared to di sana. jadi,bergeraklah bas itu. lalu presint 9, kawasan rumah teres. lalu presint 10, rumahnya besar2 sedikit. o0h, saya nampak rumah gothic itu lagi. besar, tepi tasik. ada orang kata itu istana hinggap.ayah saya pun kata macam tu.betul la kot. nanti 1 day nak gi tengok dekat2 :) bas bergerak lagi,kini melewati blok C, JPA. dulu semasa masih sekolah di kuala selangor,saya selalu ke sini. main internet di bilik ayah.pejabat ayah saya atas sekali. bahagian gaji. sekarang ayah dah pindah ke bangunan mustapha kamal (nasib baik takde Attarturk kat hujung.huhu). di bangunan ini juga,saya diberi peluang kedua. yep,peluang kedua indeed. kat sini la predeparture briefing saya :) timekasih Allah.the Best planner of all :)

bas bergerak lagi. kini melewati Botanical Park. usai tamat kmb dulu,pernah ke sini bersama sisters lain. rehlah di sini. masa tu ada aliah,seha,sabrina,asma',yandei,mimy dan ramai lagi.suka~
sekarang bas sudah di serdang. lalu ktm serdang.sepanjang cuti selepas tamat kmb,destinasi ini bagai rumah kedua. teman wajib: sabrina, mimy, izzati. kadang2 ada paah.siap tertukar2 phone lagi itu hari :P insyaallah anda2 balik summer nanti,kita ketemu lagi di sini ya~!


bas meluncur laju, ke Pasar Seni.

i'm thoroughly happy to take the long ride home :)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

theory of knowledge.

what i am about to write is quoted from a person,
based on His words.

the one who has faith does not read with these eyes.

Do we have any other eyes besides these eyes?




Do we have any other ears besides these ears?



Do we have any other means of acquiring knowledge of events?
through sense and perception and rationality
The modern Godless world says "no."
The Quran says "yes."

The Quran says that the heart can see
The Quran says that the heart can hear
when faith enters into the heart
did Allah puts Nur in the heart.
Light.
and with that Light the heart can see what these eyes cannot see.
And so now it is clean and clear,
that when the one who has faith can see,
he sees with more than these eyes.
He sees with the heart.




wakeupproject:phase3:part2.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

hear, hear-!

lying in the room, trying to sleep.
Nerves inside this head keep stabbing, figuring some panacea,
and this head aches.
The fume of menthol from the ointment fills the air, clears the lungs.

I stay quiet, struggling to sleep.
These eyes are shut, but the ears wide open. Too proud to allow me to sleep.
I can hear Maher Zain's voice happily played from my housemate's speakers, dogs barking from the opposite house, motorcar engines growling with horns blaring from the main street nearby.
I wanted to sleep. Badly.
Amidst the ache, a question popped.
I can hear them, but will they hear me breathing inside this room? Will they even know my existence inside here?
I bet no.
The dog that barks loudly will only hear its voice. Its own barks fills the wave surrounding it, hindering other wave from other sources to reach its ears. Same goes to the impatient drivers, they hear their horns blaring, but hardly other sound. Typically, the one who makes voices hardly hears others.
But the one who stays quiet, at the very same moment could hear every of it, all at once.

Ignorance is a bliss, but pure ignorance is not.

Sometimes, we're just too blind to see with our eyes.
but God gives us more than just the eyes.
He awarded us with ears. To listen.
Give our ears the chance to serve, fulfilling the duty of theirs.

Let the truth speaks.
and us, to listen.



"Terangkanlah kepadaku jika Allah mencabut pendengaran dan penglihatan serta menutup hatimu, siapakah Tuhan selain Allah yang kuasa mengembalikannya kepadamu?" (Al-An'am:46)


"Ya Allah, jadikanlah di dalam hatiku cahaya, di lidahku cahaya, di pendengaranku cahaya, di penglihatanku cahaya. Jadikan di belakangku cahaya, di hadapanku cahaya, dari atasku cahaya, dan dari bawahku cahaya. Ya Allah berikan kepadaku cahaya." (H.R.Muslim)


p/s: quoted sumwhere: listen twice as much as you talk.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

undefine state of mine


bukan mudah bernafas dalam jiwa hamba


enough said.





strength is with none but Allah.


Allah itu Maha Pengasih.

Terkadang, kita hanyut dalam urusan sendiri. Terasa bagai konflik diri itulah konflik yang maha hebat berbanding masalah lain di luar sana. Mengejar cita-cita yang berlegar hanya di ufuk dunia, tidak lebih dari itu. Lupa, bahawa kita tidak diciptakan sia- sia. Bukan untuk memuaskan kehendak sendiri. Jika hanya begitu, sangatlah ironi mengapa kita diciptakan.

Lupakah kita bahawa kita pernah bersumpah di hadapan Dia yang Maha Agung,

"Allah itu Tuhanku dan Tuhanmu"

?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Happymeal

Bila anda rasa gembira tepuk tangan~
Bila anda gembira, beginilah caranya,
bila rasa gembira tepuk tangan~!

(the rest sila nyanyi sendiri)


Hahahaha.lagu yang lawak.

Not even a single word pun it states 'alhamdulillah'.


O0h, by the way, how are you today?
How do you feel?
Happy eh?
So,
what makes you feel happy today?

your excellent A++++ exam results?

someone treats you a meal? Happymeal probably?

Hear the voice of your love ones?

or for unparticular reason, you just feel that happiness is in the air?



or is it sadness that you feel?

gloomy days. dark clouds. grey sky. wind howls. not even a single light brighten your day.




hold on.

it's more than just a feeling.

just remember,
the reasons that you think makes you happy or sad is just a medium.
it's Him, Allah, that makes you feel happy right now.
He's the one who decides that you get a good result, decided your rizqi that someone treats you a meal today, and moved you or your loved ones' heart to call each other.

every single feeling that moves you is also a 'makhluk'.
created by Him, the Khaleeq.

"What about anger love and pain
And all the things you're feeling
Can you touch them with your hand?
So are they really there?"

maher zain-open your eyes


Only Allah can put these feelings in our heart.

Not us, His creation.
Dan sesungguhnya Dia-lah yang membuat orang tertawa dan menangis” (An-Najm: 43)




Bottom line:

just be thankful for whatever you are feeling right now.
say Alhamdulillah,
bow to our Creator, and the Creator of our feeling.

may Allah grant you happiness,
and may He gives you the strength to accept whatever He decides for you.


p/s: bila rasa gembira, cakap alhamdulillah dulu. pastu baru tepuk tangan ;)



Thursday, January 28, 2010

terpotong jari

prolog:

lapar. nak makan serunding dengan nasi. serunding masih dalam plastik, belum berbuka. tercari-cari alat memotong. Ah. ada pisau. pisau tumpul, bergerigi. jadi lah. krek krek krek. separuh jalan dah potong. tengah ralit potong, tersedar jari telunjuk kiri menghalang perjalanan pisau yang asyik memotong. tak sempat alihkan. inersia. terpotong jari telunjuk. hampir2 dekat hujung jari. terpotong lebih sikit, boleh terkopak dua. darah menitik- nitik. huhu. sakit. takpe. saya lapar.

epilog:


nak basuh pinggan. jari tadi tak letak handiplast. leceh. nak wudhu' nanti kene bukak2. baik tak yah pakai. ternampak la belah terpotong jari tadi. hurm2. leceh juga nak basuh pinggan. perlu berhati- hati.
o0h. dah pagi. mahu buka suis lampu. guna jari telunjuk. o0ps. lupa. darah balik jari ni. nak basuh muka, mandi. mamai. terlupa jari luka. huuuu~ sakit sangat. ingat! perlu berhati- hati.
kelas. takut sangat papercut. masih tidak memakai handiplast. perlu sangat berhati- hati kalau tak mahu sakit lagi.
naik teksi, pergi embassy, pergi mall. sungguh- sungguh tengok jari. jaga betul- betul. takut terlanggar apa- apa. tak nak berdarah lagi.


Imam Ibnu Katsir menyebutkan dalam Tafsirnya bahwa: Umar bin Khathab ra bertanya kepada Ubai Ibnu Ka’ab ra, tentang taqwa, maka berkatalah Ubai kepada Umar:

“Pernahkah engkau melewati jalan yang penuh duri?”

"Ya, Pernah”. Jawab Umar.

Ubai bertanya lagi: “Apa yang anda lakukan saat itu?”.

Umar menjawab: “Saya akan berjalan dengan sungguh-sungguh dan berhati-hati sekali agar tak terkena dengan duri itu”. Lalu Ubai berkata: “Itulah taqwa”.





masa tengah susah-payah menahan jari yang sakit & berdenyut- denyut tu, teringat orang selalu kata. sakit ni, boleh jadi kafarah dosa kalau kita sabar. terfikir hikmah di sebalik terpotong jari ni. jadi, Taqwa ini la yang saya jumpa. Alhamdulillah, ilham itu datang dari Dia :)

p/s: jom kita bertaqwa, berhati- hati, sungguh- sungguh, mujahadah untuk jauhkan diri dari mende- mende yang boleh menyakitkan kita di hari muka nanti. :)


dari saya,

yang terpotong jari.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

sense of belonging.

after quite sometimes, we think we're strong enough to face any challenges ahead.

"Here, try me." said the arrogant heart.

strong because we had face the worst that we think it was the worst that ever happened towards us. once bounced back up front, we think we're bulletproof. but we forget, that strength is with none but Allah. He is the most powerful of all. and He who gives us the strength to face whatever challenges that he designs for us.

today, my Creator had show me, that i wasnt strong enough after all. just a flick of incident, all things come back to me. feeling that my gut's welling up to my throat, i cant deny the fact that indeed, Allah is testing me again.

weak heart:

Hey, you're still missing your peeps. regret, regret, regret. dwell in this. get drown with your sadness. blame your fate.

strong heart:

be strong, be strong now. you belong here. remember, physical presence isnt important. you know that your heart's been tied with those around you because of Allah. that's more important than other worldly reasons. feel that you belong here, because you're been surrounded by many many people who love Him.


thank You, Allah.

once again, You save me.




thanks to you-know-who-you-are, through you, God has given me this realization. again. a reminder indeed.



aisyahhussin,aisyahismail,mimyliyana,sabrinahanafi,izzatiharon,zulaikhazainol,sharatulain,bashir,tikahbashah,ijahalong,dibahpapa,pa'ahnajwa,sitifuaid,seha,azrin,asma',shida, wannajah,azimah,jihan & ramai lg. sungguh, saya syg kamu2 kerana allah. see u again when i see you insyaallah :)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

incomprehensible?

Sungguh rugi orang- orang yang mendustakan pertemuan dengan Allah; sehingga apabila kiamat datang kepada mereka secara tiba- tiba, mereka berkata, "Alangkah besarnya penyesalan kami terhadap kelalaian kami tentang kiamat itu." sambil mereka memikul dosa- dosa di atas belakangnya. Alangkah buruknya apa yang mereka pikul itu.

Dan kehidupan duunia ini hanyalah permainan dan senda gurau. Sedangkan negeri akhirat itu, sungguh lebih baik bagi orang- orang yang bertaqwa. Tidakkah kamu mengerti?
- Al- An'am: 31, 32-


penyesalan


lalai


dosa


permainan


senda gurau.



akhirat itu lebih baik.






Tidakkah kamu mengerti?


Tidakkah kamu mengerti?


Tidakkah kamu mengerti?






Tidakkah kita mengerti?



Tidakkah saya mengerti?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

filled. not empty.

one's heart,
can never be divided into parts. be it for the person we love most, material things, nor one's desire in this world.

Allah tidak menciptakan 2 rongga (hati) dalam badan manusia.

tiada 2. hanya 1.
Satu itu Dia. tiada yang lain melainkan Dia.

terkadang, terasa mahu menampar diri.
Terasa kotor. Bergelumang dengan lumpur. Tak pernah mendapat cahaya.

Tipu.

Telah banyak tali- tali yang dilempar kepada kita. Tali yang menghubungkan kita dengan Dia.
Tapi, yang buta itu bukannya mata yang tidak terlihat tali- tali penyelamat itu.
yang buta itu hati.
hati yang satu.

Tidak cukupkah Allah buatmu?
Kalut, sibuk dengan kehendak duniawi.
Takut untuk berkorban kerana Dia.

"Hasbiallah. Innallaha maana."

Kata- kata ini tidak valid buat diri kita, selagi mana kita takut untuk meninggalkan karat- karat jahiliyah dalam diri.
Kenapa perlu takut?
Sedangkan para sahabat begitu yakin dengan Allah. Allah lah sebaik2 pelindung.
Maka, cukuplah Allah buat mereka. tidak perlu dunia yang sementara.
Justeru, pantas mereka meninggalkan jahiliyah.
dari hitam terus ke putih.
tiada yang kelabu.
Berlumba- lumba syahid di jalanNya.
kerna terlampau buru mahu berjumpa si Dia.
kerana bagi mereka, Allah lah segalanya.
Cukuplah Allah buat mereka.

Buat kita bagaimana pula?

Betapa Rabiatul Adawiyah sanggup meninggalkan cinta duniawi kerana cintanya yang sangat hebat kepada Sang Pencipta. Si pemilik hati- hati.

" Di akhirat kelak, kita akan dibangkitkan bersama- sama dengan orang yang kita cintai."



Saya sayang Allah.

Saya sayang Rasulullah.

Di akhirat kelak, saya mahu bertemu, dibangkitkan bersama- sama kekasih Allah.
Dibangkitkan bersama- sama dengan mereka yang merindui Kamu.
Mahu mendengar ucapan salam dari Kamu, Sang Pencipta yang Maha Penyayang.
Tiada lain dari itu.


kerana
cukuplah Allah bagiku.

^_^

Monday, January 11, 2010

no boundaries

“Sesungguhnya orang-orang beriman itu bersaudara. Sebab itu damaikanlah (perbaikilah hubungan) antara kedua saudaramu itu dan bertakwalah kepada Allah, supaya kamu mendapat rahmat.”
(Al-Hujurat: 10)


(kertas ni was sent to our house. ade kat atas meja mkn when i reach home after class dat day. sgt2 tersentuh bila baca kertas ni. jemputan yg ringkas, tp cukup bermakna. how can we resist to go when the head of the mosque himself invited us like this ^^ )


it's peaceful when people see and meet each other without boundaries.

we're different physically.
namely language, country, race, skin colour.

but God created us all from the 1st man He created.
and we're created by Him and only Him.

why should we search for differences when we know that we have a very strong similarity?
holding the same faith,
we're bonded way beyond physical reasons.
cannot be touched by dirty hands,
held strong for those who believe in Him.
forget our differences,
because the souls of believers are attached by Him,
tied because of Him.


“Perumpamaan orang-orang beriman dalam kecintaan, kelembutan dan kasih sayang di antara mereka ibarat satu tubuh. Jika salah satu anggota sakit, maka seluruh anggota turut merasakannya dengan tetap berjaga dan demam.”
(Muslim & Ahmad)

may we'll stay united til the end of time.

^o^

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

the aftermath, the end, the coming days ahead.



kagum, terkesima, terpana, taajub, tersentak.

the aftermath of many2 programs.

HAMKA (himpunan akbar mahasiswa kita) di bumi nusantara ini.
PMS (perhimpunan musim sejuk)di scotland
PUISI di ireland
JUMS,
daurah2 di czech dan tanah air malaysia.
dan baaaanyak lagi program sempena musim cuti :)


hari ni,
program dah habis.
(semangat yang berkobar-kobar semasa program tu pun dah habis ke?)

istiqamah.

dat's the word for today (and the next2 day).

when so many people went to program, filling out their holiday usefully, a spark of amazement came to me. looking at their ym @ fb status, their blog updates, caption at every photos they posted, i realized that they change. for the better. my friends changed. for the better. alhamdulillah, it seems that the programs @ whatever they do during holiday sparks a little something in them. subhanallah.

looking at my very closests' improvement(s), what do i feel?

how will i react?

DONT BE LEFT OUT BEHIND.


a reminder to the one's talking: what you learned, never stops during the program only. what most important is the aftermath of it. whether you can utilise all the things you'd got when the program ends or not. rebuilding oneself, healing what's sick, buck up the spirit, leaving out the mess that once keep bothering you.

we know too much already.
wanna stay quite?
dont.

Lets Walk The Line.



may we meet again because of Him, insyaallah :)

Friday, January 1, 2010

Dare to be Different

عَن اَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : بَدَأَ اْلِاسْلَامُ غَرِيْباً وَسَيَعُوْدُ كَمَا بَدَأَ غَرِيْباً فَطُوْبَى لِلغُرَبَاءِ

Daripada Abu Hurairah Radhiyallahu 'anhu berkata, Rasulullah Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam bersabda: Islam mula tersebar dalam keadaan dagang (asing).Dan ia akan kembali dagang. Maka berbahagialah (beruntunglah) orang yang bersama Islam ketika ianya dagang”. (Hadith riwayat Muslim)


*******

kadangkala, kita terlalu sibuk memikirkan apa yang bermain dalam fikiran orang lain.
"kalau aku pakai macam ni, mesti nampak pelik semacam".
"kalau aku bagi nasihat, dia kata aku alim la pulak."
"kalau aku kejut dia subuh, nanti tak pasal2 dia marah2 pulak."
"kalau aku ........"

Hai, banyak sungguh kalau. Awak dah buat ke belum masalahnya?
Dah buat, baru cakap.

Mungkin awak terlupa. Bila awak sibuk2 fikir pandangan orang lain terhadap awak, awak lupa tentang pandangan Dia terhadap awak. Indeed, itu lah yang paling penting. Sebab in the end, it's between you and Allah. not them. dot.

Awak tak rasa izzah (bangga) ke bila awak lain dari yang lain? selalunya,macam2 orang buat untuk jadi lain dari yg lain (unik). buat fashion rambut pelik2 la, dengar lagu yg orang lain tak pernah dengar la, pergi tempat2 yang orang lain tak pernah jejak la dan banyak lagi. Kalaulah kita sentiasa ingat yang ISlam ni adalah salah satu nikmat Allah buat kita, mesti kita sentiasa rasa best & cukup dengan apa yang kita ada. Tak perlu buat benda pelik2 untuk tarik perhatian orang ramai kepada kita. cukup dengan Islam, apabila kita berani menegakkan islam itu dalam diri kita.

La takhaf. Hasbiallah.Innallaha maana.
jangan takut. cukuplah Allah buat kita. Dia sentiasa bersama2 kita.


.D.A.R.E.T.O.B.E.D.I.F.F.E.R.E.N.T.


p/s: salam tahun baru.
azam baru saya: tak takut, demi Dia. :)