cantik itu persepsi

it has been exactly a year since the day i arrived here. and this is what i wrote back then. n true enough, I know that He has placed me right at where i belong. Grateful enough, happy enough, content enough as He is the best planner of all.

"Allah itu maha adil. dia letak kita betul di tempat yg sepatutnya."

pengisian yg saya dpt 2 3 hari di malaysia ni, sgt2 meaningful. rezeki yg Allah bg itu adalah utk dekatkan diri kita pd Allah. pd pandangan manusia, ada yg buruk, ada yg baik. tapi bg Allah, Allah memang dah letak semuanya pd condition yg terbaik utk kita dekatkn diri pd Allah. be it kita suka/ x, itulah rezeki terbaik yg Allah bg utk kita yg akan dekatkn kita pd Dia. but it depends on individu itu sndri, to exploit rezeki yg Dia bg itu atau tidak.
(bicara soal takdir mmg selalu meng'amaze'kan saya ^^ )



When I said Jakarta, what comes into your mind?
Months before, what I thought was an urban city, dusts, noise, pollution, lack of modernization and urbanisation, a city that is left behind compared to other capitals in this world. Ugliness.
Mind me, I had only been in this country when I was 4 years old. Itu pun I went to Sumatera, not this Java Island. With tourism agency. And tourist guide. Huhu.

Touch down.

Arrival time 1455 pm, 27 August 2009.

What’s on my mind before is nearly accurate, plus the famous traffic jam and lots of people selling anything they can in the middle of the road to win the bread for their selves and family. ‘Pengamen’, dorongan,* you name it, you will see it on the streets of Jakarta.

I hate big cities. I can’t stand the noise, I can’t stand many people walking around me and I feel lost in translation. I hate their prejudice towards the people of my country, I hate them for recognizing me as one. Ooh, I generalize too much. Not all of them, some of them only.

The place I’m living now and for the next 5 years is a big city. Really big and busy. Bigger and busier than Kuala Lumpur. The drains are clogged, the rivers are black, the streets are crowded with houses, and the passerbies are all full with people selling many things, trying to attract your attention. The streets are dusty since it’s rarely raining here (except for January and February when rain brings flood), smeared with spits and sometimes you can even see the phlegm. Dogs barking, rats moving around happily at night and even bats are flying above you. Cats are dirty, no more adorable.


Are you whining, Basirah?

No, I'm not.

There’s this one day. I walked along this street and suddenly the wind blew. Leaves are falling gracefully, like you see when autumn comes. I stopped and lookup to the bright sky, trying to seal the moment.

Yesterday I walk back alone from my friend’s house. A dirty cat walked near me. I cooed him a bit, and the cat even walks with me all my way back. A companion when you never expected it, I must say.

The other day, I went to pasar pagi near my neighbourhood. It’s like Pasar Tani basically. With many more variety of things being sold. It’s dirty, but here in this country, who cares.


Here, I love to see the dorongan passing by in front of my house, tukang jahit bergerak yang bawa mesin jahit pegi mana2 pun, playground yang penuh dengan orang dewasa n kanak2, es buah and gado2 yang sedap, warteg n warkop* yang provide cheap food, naik bajaj yang menyeronokkan, my housemates yang eventhough we are all from different races and religions tapi sangat2 baik n memahami, jalanraya yang sentiasa busy tapi adventurous, dan baaaaanyak lagi.

I grow accustomed to all of it now.There are many scenes happening around me that is worth being portrayed. For me, even pakcik yang jual2 tepi jalan tu pun worth a snap. People are really an attractive subject to be pictured.

Train our eyes to see beauty in every happening around us.

Since I only got Jakarta for me to be appreciated, I got to make the best out of it, aite?

I don’t have Edinburgh to admire, Cliff of Moher to awe, buildings of Prague to fantasize. I don’t find koala to hug or kiwi fruits to take back.

Since You give me Jakarta, I guess it’s my responsibility to make the best out of it.

Stop whining or blaming your fate.

See beauty in every of His creations.

Shift your paradigm.

This is written after 2 months I’ve been here. Not that this country doesn’t have any picturesque spot. I don’t reach Bandung, Yogyakarta and Bali yet, which are famous for their natural beauty.

*Pengamen: Musician on the streets, usually playing guitar and singing in the middle of the road during traffic jam, intending to obtain some money from the driver/ passengers.
* Dorongan: Orang jual2 yang bergerak.
* Warteg: warung tegar, selling food like nasi campur bla bla.
* warkop: warung kopi.
* bajaj: tricycle with engine. Very loud engine.

The Mosque

Holiday has started. Unlike others, mine is only for 2 weeks. Though one might think that it's too short, we're not talking about the length. We're talking about the quality of your holiday. If you wasted your time by sleeping all day long, what's the meaning of holiday anyway. huhu :~

yesterday, we went to d nearest mosque to our house, our very 1st time since we moved into this house. Since we're on holiday, so this much time we spend going here and there, including our aim to pray at every mosque in our neighbourhood. :) our first objctive is basically to spread Your words, maybe by teaching the kids reciting Your book first. Secondly, of course to mingle around wit the locals :)

However, what happened was a bit unexpected (we actually dont know what to expect pun). We arrived a bit late for magrib prayer as the jemaah is already dismissed. Dipendekkan cerita, the muslimat was only the 4 of us, no other locals. muslimin also only a handful. when we enter the mosque, all of them went out (as if to allow us to pray peacefully), except the imam (but he went to the other side of the mosque, far from our sight). Huuu. terasa cam diboikot ke ape. Cam lawak pun ada gak.

Finished praying, we sat for a while, discussing about this 'unexpected' happening. Obviously our second motive cant be achieved dis way since there's no other muslimat that we can talk to. About our 1st motive, we're still calculating, trying to learn the culture here. Seems like sitting n discussing among us will not help, we try to catch the imam (the last of muslimin to leave the mosque), to talk n get to know things around here. (padahal selama ni memang x penah buat pun kat tempat sendiri. huhu)

Subhanallah, Barakallah, Alhamdulillah~!

These were the words that he kept uttering towards us, very happy to hear that we're not originally from this land. Besides the fact that we came to this mosque. From his explanation, our neighbourhood got 120 families, only 20 are muslims. No wonder the number of people going to the mosque is very little. Unless when there are taklim or any teachings going on, or the Friday prayer.

From our quite long conversation with him, so many things we learnt. He just know how to put it, teaching us while conversing. About being a true muslim, the concept of istiqamah defined differently by each of khulafa' ar-rasyidin, berbaik sangka as man is not perfect, and many more :) Unfortunately i didnt bring my note book to jote it all down :P

Thanks to Allah, though our first intention to come here isnt fulfilled, but You give us something better instead :) Indirectly, our existence here is known, therefore insyaallah if we want to do or volunteer anything, things will get easier insyaallah. Cant wait for another visit to the mosque again :)

sparks fly ~

The wind blew.
The grass was damp. Thanks to the rain.
Small Island stood in the middle of the valley,
And there were we.
It was a campfire.
The warmth envelopes cold hearts.

staring at the flame,
feels like being absorbed,
pulled into the unknown world of it.
It was magical.
From the core of the flame to the darkness of the sky,
The sparks flew up into the night.
But it's for mere seconds.
Disappear, beaten by the cold night.
A beauty that never lasts.

But Lord, Your flame will never fade.
The sparks will burn, stabbing the core of unfaithful hearts.
A fire that will never be a beauty anymore.
Indeed, a nightmare.
The sparks will never fade, never disappear,
Because You promised,
The Fire of Yours will alight till eternity.

Safe us Allah,
Because we don’t want to wake up into nightmare.

Safe us Allah,
Because You are our saviour.
Our One and only.
Ameen.

"Those who reject
Our signs, We shall soon
Cast into the Fire;
As often as their skins
Are roasted through,
We shall change them
For fresh skins,
That they may taste
The penalty: for Allah
Is Exalted in Power, Wise"
[Al-Quran 4:56]

"He who created Death
And life that He
May try which of you
Is best in deed;
And He is the Exalted
In Might, Oft-Forgiving"
[Al-Quran 67:2]

unanswered question

hurm..
what's your say?
i'm not asking for the movie review. no no. bukan itu yg saya tanyakan.
soalnya, anda percaya atau tidak ia akan berlaku pada 2012?
Anda ragu- ragu?
Atau anda yakin sepenuhnya dengan jawapan anda?
Atau ada suggestion tarikh lain? :P
Dont answer it loudly.
He always knows anyway.

For me, this is more like a serangan pemikiran@ mental attack @ ghazwul fiqr. u trust them, u fall into their trap. Bagai lembu dicucuk hidung, apa yang didoktrinkan oleh kuasa2 besar dunia, itulah yang diterima bulat2 oleh minda2 yang jumud dan tidak mahu berfikir.

Siapa kita untuk bertanya2 tentang bila hari kiamat itu akan berlaku?
Allah tidak mahu kita berbicara tentang bilakah terjadinya hari yg pasti itu. Dia mahu kita bersedia menghadapi kiamat itu sendiri. Even Rasulullah s.a.w. pun tak mampu nak menjawab bila Jibril bertanyakan kepadanya.

“Beritahukan aku tentang hari kiamat (bila kejadiannya)”. Beliau bersabda: “Yang ditanya tidak lebih tahu dari yang bertanya “.
- Hadis 2.

Hurm.. kita sedang berbicara tentang perkara yang pasti akan berlaku.
Macam SPM dulu la. Tak tahu pun bila exact tarikh SPM akan berlangsung. Tapi, since form 4 (smangatnye~!) or that january tu dah sibuk2 nak prepare. Itu pun, spm mungkin tidak akan berlaku kalau Dia tak benarkan ia berlaku.huhuhu.

Mereka bertanya kepadamu (Muhammad) tentang hari kiamat, "Bilakah terjadinya?" Untuk apa engkau perlu menyebutkannya(waktunya)? Kepada Tuhanmulah(dikembalikan) kesudahannya (ketentuan waktunya. Engkau (Muhammad) hanyalah pemberi peringatan bagi siapa yang takut kepadanya (hari kiamat). Pada hari ketika mereka melihat kiamat itu (kerana suasananya hebat), mereka merasa seakan-akan hanya (sebentar saja)tinggal (di dunia) pada waktu petang atau pagi hari.
- an- Nazi'at: 42-46.

p/s: Tak penting pun tahu bila. Yg penting, cukupkah amalan kita?

assalamualaikum.

Thank You, Allah :)

Sabtu lalu, hari yg panjang. panjang, sampai pulang ke rumah pun dah jam 10.50 malam.
Banyak yang dilalui hari ni sehingga kadang2 kami berlari macam tak cukup tanah.
Bahaya. lain kali jangan keluar sampai malam2 buta baru nak balik.

10.50 malam. Selamat tiba di rumah.
Safe n sound.
tapi lupa nak ucap 1 kalimah.

Alhamdulillah.

********************************


Ini realiti hidup mereka. Berbumbungkan jejantas. bertilamkan tanah. berdapurkan arang. Mungkin mereka selamat buat masa ini, tapi pabila musim hujan dan banjir melanda jakarta, mungkin mereka akan pergi. mencari kehidupan yang baru.



Ini permainan mereka. Ini yang mereka kenal sedari kecil.



Di sini mereka melepaskan lelah. Tika bangun, kembali berada di jalanan, mencari sesuap nasi.


**************************

Perkara kecil.
Hanya 1 kalimah.

Alhamdulillah.

Terima kasih Allah kerana lindungi saya semasa pulang berjalan kaki dari kelas tadi.

Terima kasih Allah kerana buatkan saya tidak mengantuk di dalam kelas hari ini.

Terima kasih Allah kerana beri saya ilham dan kekuatan untuk siapkan assignment.

Terima kasih Allah kerana beri saya kekuatan untuk memegang pen semasa exam tadi.

Terima kasih Allah kerana lindungi saya dari demam walaupun hujan tiap2 hari, angin sangat2 kuat.

Terima kasih Allah atas nikmat iman dan islam yang Kau kurniakan buat kami.

Terima kasih Allah kerana saya masih bernyawa hari ini.

Forgive us Allah, for us being Your ungrateful servants.

I see a funeral today

As I walk back from my skill lab session, I and friends passed through crowd of people.
Strange.
It’s 9.30 am, and the street is unusually busy.
My friend even said, ”Meriah kan, jalan ni hari ni?”
That was before we saw what’s waiting for us at the end of the street.

I see a funeral.
No.
A death actually since the dead isn’t buried yet.
They wore black. Black kerudung as local said, black celana, black kaos.
They hold flags. Yellow flag, made of paper. Like the paper that you use to make kites. I’m still wondering what the flag symbolizes as.

You can actually feel the loneliness that one will face when you watch the dead being buried deep down in the ground.. The silence of the grave, the hurl of the wind..

At the end of the street, the musholla is full with people, with a van from the hospital. I guess they’re still managing the dead, like memandikan, mengkafankan and menyembahyangkan jenazah.

******

Few months back, I’m in their shoes.
Being one of the person yang memandikan my grandmother, my mouth shut quiet at that moment. My sister cried a lot at that time. Thank God, she doesn’t continue to help. huhu.. I don’t know why, but I’m not afraid of being in charge. Some superstitious belief said that you might caught the ‘badi’ of the dead, whatever bla bla bla..
but since it’s our relative, why should we care?
Plus, we’re gonna be one of them also, right? Imagine your so-called ‘badi’ keep haunting other people. Funny eh? Haha.

.....

Above all, I remember this one time.

One of my junior from my secondary school passed away because he had been hit by a lorry.
The news came to me via sms. Typical sms.

“saudara kita...(name)....telah meninggal dunia kerana...... Al-Fatihah..”

Al- Fatihah.

Al- fatihah????
How many of us yang betul2 bacakan al-fatihah untuk orang yang dah mninggal dunia ni bila dapat sms macam ni?
Honestly, i don’t.

I told my friends about the news. They said “innalillah..”. Then i just rest the case for that moment.

It’s zohor prayer.
After salam2, one of my friends approached me.

She said, “Bashu, jom kite baca yasin.”
The dumb me said, “Baca yasin? Knapa?”
She silenced for a moment. “Kan junior bashu meninggal tadi?”
Me silenced for a longer time.
Realization and embarrassment nearly knocked me dead. “jom.”

****

My junior is a guy. He’s my junior and I even never talked to him.

Fine, basirah. That’s what the Bad You said.
What’s the Kind You said?

Your junior is a muslim. Your so-called ‘saudara seiman’ eh? Saudara amendenye kalau hak dia Basirah tak tunaikan. Dia ada hak untuk dibacakan Yasin, untuk didoakan. Baik takyah jadi saudara kalau mende2 kecik macam ni pun awak tak sanggup nak buat untuk saudara awak.

Sumpah, I feel like I’m the most selfish person at that time when I even dared to ask, “knapa nak baca yasin?” to my friend. Tu yang terdiam lama sikit lepas tu. Huuu~
To you-know-who-u-are, thank you so0 much for this realization.
It’s implicit, but it is so clear. This incident happened nearly a year and a half ago, but I still can remember it vividly because it changed my perspective a lot.



Dah tunaikan hak saudara2 seiman dengan kita?

Think our family. Think our roommate, our housemate, our colleagues.

Think Palestine and Afghanistan.

Sudan and Nigeria.

Think of the world. Our relatives are everywhere.

Fulfil their rights, in the name of our God.


I see a funeral today.

And You remind me of this.


Emily Dickinson: There’s been a death in the opposite house..