Monday, September 6, 2010

chasing after... what?

looking at newspapers on the coffee table, they make me sick. frustrated.
what's hot right now?
heh.
the never-ending inter-nation conflict. you know what i mean.

a year back, i was granted by my sponsor (read: Allah) to further my study in medicine, in this country. compared to other favourable countries, this country that I'm going is rewarded with earthquakes, volcano eruptions, dense population of human race, high inequality of income distribution, and not to forget, the endless inter-nation conflict with my own country.

for a normal medic student, we might put a 'doctor' to be solely our dream.
apa- apa pun orang tanya, "saya tak kesah apa pun yang jadi, yang saya tahu, saya nak dan akan jadi doktor jugak~!"
wahhhh.... determined sungguh student ini.
Tiada apa yang salah di situ. Apa yang diimpikan itu tidak salah, because that's what will drive the student forward.
Tapi, awak penah tak fikir other possibilities yang boleh jadi?

previously, medic students in Padang had been called back and can't further their studies in this country because of the massive earthquake that hit their area last year. well, jakarta isn't an exception.
plus, the inter-nation conflict that mainly targetting people in jakarta. and it isnt far from where i'm staying truly.

so many (negative)thoughts running in my head. and if one think of it too much, one can eventually breaks down to tears.

pernah fikir tak,
" kalau saya tak jadi doktor, saya akan jadi apa?"
" dah nak masuk 2 tahun belajar medic, tiba2 biasiswa ditarik balik, saya nak buat apa?"
" macam mana kalau saya mati before saya sempat graduate?"




........

kita hidup, bukan setakat nak kejar degree/ license to be a doctor tu je.
there's gotta be more to life than that.
and there's more in the after life.
kalau awak setakat fikir nak jadi doktor, specialist, consultant, habisla awak bila cita2 awak tu tak kesampaian. Habisla awak bila Allah takdirkan bukan itu yang terbaik untuk awak jadi. takut tak? takut tak? :P

Tanya balik diri awak, doktor je ke yang saya nak jadi? Tak nak lebih dari itu?

Ingat balik tujuan hidup kita,
kenapa kita dicipta.
Then you'll be relieved + calm for whatever He has decided for you.
Tak kisahla negara yang awak pergi aman ke tak, awak betul- betul jadi doktor ke tak, sebab awak tahu, ada sesuatu yang lebih penting dari itu semua. Awak tahu ada benda yang lebih besar yang awak kejar berbanding cita- cita yang kecil itu. Awak tahu awak kejar sesuatu yang takkan berakhir kat dunia ni je, tapi boleh bawa sampai ke alam sana.


Tanya balik diri awak,
"Apa sebenarnya yang saya kejar sekarang ni?"

whatever it is, pray that Allah gives us the strength to face whatever He has decided for us. and there's nothing to worry, sebab
"Allah kan ada :) "

p/s: dulu saya suka sangat lagu there's gotta be more to life by stacie oricco. listening to it right now from different point of view makes me appreciate the lyric more :) o0h terima kasih juga kpd konflik yang tak habis2 ni. you add up some spice in my journey + you make me think again of what i'm chasing after. betulkan niat insyaAllah. Thanks Allah :)

9 comments:

iman ka said...

salam.

bashu, dulu kan saya ada duduk2 dekat bilik izzi sekali dengan pa'ah, sekali tbe2 dia tanye..
"manka.. matlamat hidup awak ape.."

and then, i went really quiet, cz i didn't how to answer the question..

izzi waited and waited..

..until she said, "manka.. baik awak check balik diri awak.." :p


anyways in response to this,

"Habisla awak bila Allah takdirkan bukan itu yang terbaik untuk awak jadi. takut tak? takut tak? :P"

takut la jugak mula-mula.. but not so much now insyaAllah ;)


a good reminder bashu, a very good reminder indeed. :)

raya dekat sini tak?

itana said...

whoaaa sangat direcct cik izzi kite tu :P
hihi.
btw, the background of this post is actually ada 1 day to terasa sangat geram sampai nak koyak2 je semua paper yg ada atas meja. cam frustrated sangat2 dengan org2 yg x leh fikir panjang nih (regarding d conflict thingy). n He makes me think :)

n about takut ke x tu, bagusla iman rasa camtu. at 1st memang akan cuak, but then bila dah rethink everything again, surely will feel better :)

yup2 raya sini. yeay~! :)

im a muslim said...

salam..

bashu! betul ke betul ke?? kalau J.. tarik, mungkin M.. akan tark jugak. huish -_-"

suka post ini. dulu pernah ada konflik jiwa.cewah ;p tapi perancangan Allah, siapa boleh bantah.kan?hehe. semoga Allah permudahkan segalanya. =)

btw, saya suka english anda! haha xD

itana said...

ni faiqah isnt it? :)
hee dah byk kali dgr rumours camtu..sampai dah takde perasaan.huhu. usually M... will b more lenient compared to J. yup, no worries. Allah always has the best plan for us ^o^

english saya dah berhabuk.huuu :(
tenks anyway. salam ramadhan ^^

Anonymous said...

ye.sgt geram with that conflict thingy.rase mcm nk halau je semua rakyat sane yg ade kt sini.hee~

raye di sane ye?selamat hari raye then.tc there.and goodluck dear :)

itana said...

eh nurul. raya kt mlysia la. sok lik kg :)
okies then. salam ramadhan n hepi hari raya :)

sahabiat said...

salam dear..
best..
thumbs up..
yes..
this life is not about being a doctor..or whatever we want to be..
but beside those things is to be what He-Allah want us to be..

u remind me of this ayats..

"Wahai jiwa yang tenang, kembalilah kepada TuhanMu dalam keadaan meredhai dan diredhaiNya.."
27-29: Al-fajr

p/s: if i'm not mistaken, correct me if i'm wrong..

adlan wafi said...

inspiring and gaya penyampaian yg sgt santai. good2!

yeap, "Allah kan ada :) "

He'll always be there...;)

itana said...

@ ijah: heee insyaAllah. how's dublin nway? selamat beraya di sana :)

@ adlan: i dunno what's inspiring bout dis.huhu. but tenks :)
yup2. bile rasa tak best ke ape, "Allah kan ada :) "

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