to you

around this time last year, He taught me something really important through a dear friend of mine.

about missing/ loving/ caring for someone,

that is, because of Allah.


when you've travelled nearly sixteen thousand kilometres across the continent,
who would have thought that you're only seeing that person less than one day in total actually.
a little bit of minutes here and there, frantic few minutes phone call in the middle of winter night before the battery went out, the short taxi ride together from the port to her home, a brief welcome into the house before falling asleep in her room, waking up knowing that you're not going to see her till later date.
worst, out of thousand pictures from the trip, you only found two photos of you with her.
one is blurry, shameful enough to be shared with people. another is a group photo.
in short, there's nothing exclusive.

there's always excuses, other priority and duties that take the person away.

sounds jealous?

thought so. at first.

but there's this thing,

called ukhuwwah fillah.

being a friend to someone doesn't mean that we have to own him/ her.

if we care or love enough, we'll let that person go because we know that he/ she is running towards His ridha.

You're selfish if you try to make her feel guilty for not staying with you all the time.

who are we to stop others from trying to gain His rahmah?

if you realize that the person is doing her best to enter His jannah, are you going to just watch with those selfishness contained in you?

while others are sacrifing their jasad, some others need to sacrifice their emotion.


ever heard of al- Khansa' bin Amru?
she's that very woman who sent her four sons to be a martyr in the battle of Qadisiyah.
ordinary moms will be reluctant to do so.
but indeed, she's extraordinary.
there's a comment from a book, about this great woman,

"Oleh kerananya, siapapun yang tidak mempunyai fondasi ma'rifatullah dalam dirinya, ia akan sulit untuk memperoleh ketenangan, kedamaian, kebahagiaan dan kejayaan hakiki. Jika kita semakin mengenal siapa Allah, maka akan terasa semakin kecil nilai makhluk."

- AaGym, Meraih Bening Hati Dengan Manajemen Qolbu -

maybe the previous story of mine is a very tiny comparison to the great story of Khansa'.
but then, i couldn't help to think,
even if this tiny test from Allah couldn't I pass through, what's there to be like Khansa'?

family and friends of us is not our property.
they're Allah's right from the very beginning,
Allah lend them to us, to bring us closer to Him. not trying to take them away from Him (if you can do so :P )

this episode really opened up my eyes.
caring for someone is to care that Allah will care for she/he more.
your 'care' doesn't count if it comes along with your own selfishness, insensible jealousy and the urge to keep someone for your own self, hindering her/ him to do what they're supposed to do with this life.

though with teary eyes you bid farewell to her
never knowing when you all will meet again,
there's always these words that will sooth the hearts.

"Jumpa lagi nanti. kalau bukan kat sini, kat syurga nanti insyaallah."

with that,
though you're thousand miles apart,

you will always have the faith
that the other person is also striving their best to obtain the ticket to enter His jannah.

p/s: semoga allah sayang awak lebih dari kami semua sayangkan awak. happy birthday~!

for Ghazah...

def: Gaza.

my prayer goes to you. To us. To all Muslims in the world.

Jakarta's entering its rainy season.
I love rainy days.
but, do you, my brothers and sisters in Ghazah enjoy rainy days as much as I do here?
it must be chilly there. It's going to be cold season soon. Are you alright over there?



the other day my brothers and sisters, we talked about our ambitions.
we talk about careers, businesses, job opportunities, life years ahead.
we want to be specialists, we want to be owner of businesses outside our course of study, we want to  own properties, we want to many many things.

some are plain ridiculous.
like owning a ballet club and have quranic circle with ballerinas (apekah?), having a classical orchestra full of akhawats with one as a violinist or pianist, another as cello player, opening a cafe with one volunteered to be the baker and another wants to be the manager, and so many ridiculous things.
just like childhood times, where we imagine things and laugh back at our own idiotic dreams.
it's fun. because we rarely talk about our dream regarding careers especially.

but what struck me the most,
is how deeply we actually believe, confident and trust in Allah that Islam will be at the top again one day. (semoga keyakinan ni makin mendalam dan tak hilang).
when we think logically about businesses that we wanna do, careers that we want to have, it's different now talking about it compared to the time when we know nothing about tarbiyah.
as we ridiculously or logically think about our dreams or what we ought to do,
we always keep in mind about how it's going to actually help the ummah, what is the prospect of a job or a service when the population of Muslim (or people who support Islam) years ahead multiplies?
say, we wanna own airline company so that it's going to help our means for dakwah & tarbiyah. Because we believe that one day, the number of people in This Path will be a whole lot more than today. discounts for jaulah, further discounts for muwajih to travel. cute much :)

enough blabbering.
the point is, we, I deeply believe that Islam will be on top again one day.
be it in our time, or the time of our great great grandchildren.
for now, let's strongly do our part bearing this in mind because Abbasiyah wasn't built in a day :)

to my brothers and sisters in Ghazah, Suriah, Rohingya and all corners of the world,
though we might not hold weapons side by side with you defending the land of our ummah,
and our contribution might be small,
but I pray to Allah that these will be the bricks that will build again the era that we once had.
Let's put our trust solely in Allah's promise.
Let's be strong together, in the name of Allah.

for the sake of having.

Having something, just for the sake of having it.

contoh 1:

kanak- kanak yang nak ada xbox/ playstation3 baru, just sebab kawan- kawan lain ada.
padahal ps2 yang ada still ok, dah ada wii, dah ada psp.
bila belikan ps3, main game tah apape je. baik main ps2 dulu.

contoh 2:

beli smartphone canggih- canggih sebab konon nak uptodate, padahal usage sama je cam henfon nokia tiga-tiga-sekupang tu.
tak reti pakai apps, tak reti nak setup wifi, tak reti nak check email, dan banyak lagi tak reti.
baik pakai henfon hitam putih polifonik dulu tu je.

contoh 3:

ehem.
beli dslr sebab semua orang yg kononnya tengah 'into' photography semua pakai slr.
padahal tak penah pun nak adjust shutter speed, nak ubah setup manual mode, nak apply micro lens.
baik pakai kamera henfon je kalau camtu. takpun pakai digicam biasa yg memang dah ada auto select scene tu.
hobi?
mungkin bukan satu alasan yang cukup kuat.
banyaknya masa awak . cough cough.

*************************************************************************************

kadang- kadang kita nakkan sesuatu just sebab orang lain ada.
kita bercakap tentang sesuatu sebab benda tu tengah hot.
terasa dihargai/ dipandang tinggi/ nampak cool bila diri sendiri ada jugak mende tu, ...kah?

ada inferiority complex yang teruk sangat ke sampai perlu macam ni?

benar, teknologi tu memudahkan.
sebab tu ramai juga orang- orang hebat ada semua teknologi yg serba pantas ni. sebab memudahkan urusan untuk sentiasa tahu perkembangan d&t, nak df orang, nak ikut meeting online, nak organize masa, nak bukak quran waktu senggang, and the list goes on.
tapi, ramai je daie hebat yang tak ada semua ni. boleh je susun masa elok2, boleh je bagi komitmen bila- bila masa je. terkagum dengan mereka yang macam ni.


there's gotta be more to life.

beza sangat orang yang ada something sebab dia tahu kenapa dia perlu ada,
dengan orang yang ada something sebab dia nak orang lain pandang dia kerana itu.
memang berbeza.
kalau keliling kita dipenuhi dengan orang- orang pandang kita just because barang apa yang kita ada,  itu sangat kasihan.
allah tak tengok apa yang kita ada,
tapi allah tengok apa yang kita buat dengan apa yang kita ada tu.
macam bani israel.
ramai sangat respect dorang atas apa yg allah dah bagi pada mereka.
tapi since dorang tak buat apape pun dengan apa yg allah bagi, lama-lama dorang sendiri nampak hina.
survival of the fittest?
true for some part.
Fit untuk jalankan tanggungjawab kita atas dunia ni.
sebab orang macam tu yg akan survive sampai akhirat insyaallah (ali- Imran: 169-171).

“Mereka mengetahui nikmat Allah (tetapi) kemudian mereka mengingkarinya…” 

(QS. An Nahl: 83).

sebenarnya apa yg saya nak cakap in the very first place sangat simple.
fikir dulu sebelum beli something.
tak perlu atau tak mampu?
makanya tak payah.

sekian terima kasih.

gaya cam emo? bagi peluang sikit saya nak emo kat belog sendiri.

hurmm lately cam allergic tengok dslr. =.=

end reaction

" tingkat keimanan kita saat itu yang akan tentukan reaksi kita pada waktu itu"

(quoted)

sangat terkesan.

macam- macam mana sekali pun, iman kita yang akan tentukan reaksi kita masa tu.

be it kita mampu bersabar ke, marah- marah ke, kecik hati ke, serabut sangat ke,
semua tu iman kita yang akan tentukan.

tapi lain pulak,
marah kerana Allah dengan marah tak tentu hala sebab iman tengah rendah.

*ketuk kepala sendiri*.

ayat feveret saya all the time,

and yes a great reminder untuk org mcm saya nih

الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُمْ بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ أَلا بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ

“Orang-orang yang beriman dan hati mereka menjadi tenteram dengan berzikir (mengingat) Allah. Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingat Allah hati menjadi tenteram” (ar-Ra’du: 28).

saviour

truest protector, truest planner, truest saviour : the Creator.

the Creator creates a thing, the Creator creates many other things that come with the other.
the Creator knows what will harm the thing He creates, the Creator knows what will benefits the thing He creates.

He knows how to save us, from our own ignorance.

selalu, kita sering disibukkan dengan banyak benda.
sampai takde masa nak tenung laptop lama- lama, sampai takde masa untuk buang masa/ duit/ tenaga ke benda yang tak sepatutnya.
Dia sibukkan kita dengan dakwah dan tarbiyah, Dia sibukkan dengan exam sekolah dan sebagainya supaya kita fikir,
apa yang sepatutnya jadi priority kita.

idealnya: bila kita letak D&t atau exam itu jadi priority kita, kita takkan habiskan masa/tenaga/ wang kita ke perkara lain yang tak sepatutnya, 

say: tengok movie, keluar window shopping tak tentu hala, main game berjam- jam. sebab kita tahu dan rasa, bahawa kita takde masa lain untuk semua tu.

kalau tak study time ni, memang takde masa lain dah sebab waktu ni je yg kita ada untuk study. 

sebab esok ada usrah, lusa tulat ada daurah, next week ada meeting lain, dateline itu dan ini......

sebenarnya, kalau kita betul- betul cuba manage waktu kita dengan benar, takde masalah (insyaallah) untuk kita pergi program tarbiyah walaupun esoknya exam, let say.

sebab, before hand lagi kita dah isi masa betul- betul dengan belajar apape yang perlu, sebab kita tahu exam dah dekat.

selalu ditanya lepas daurah SJ,
macam mana nak tinggalkan semua tu?
kalau perkara berkaitan dengan masa; game, movie, etc, memang saya jawab macam saya tulis kat atas ni.
sebab bila dah sibuk, memang takde masa dah nak buat benda pelik- pelik ni insyaallah.
unless, kalau kita rasa exam kita tak penting dan kita terus main game/ tengok movie/ tengok bola walaupun exam dah dekat sangat2. lepas tu stress sorang- sorang. memang saja cari pasal.

cuba tahan sikit diri tu.

Allah dah cuba selamatkan kita dengan beri kita kesibukan yang insyaallah lebih bermanfaat.
tapi kalau kita sendiri indulge dengan perkara yang tak sepatutnya,
memang patut la tenggelam tak timbul- timbul.

banyak pulak bebel.
reminder untuk diri sendiri bila terasa sibuk.
Allah tu selalu bagi yang terbaik untuk kita.
kita je yang tak perasan.

wallahu a'lam.