to you

around this time last year, He taught me something really important through a dear friend of mine.

about missing/ loving/ caring for someone,

that is, because of Allah.


when you've travelled nearly sixteen thousand kilometres across the continent,
who would have thought that you're only seeing that person less than one day in total actually.
a little bit of minutes here and there, frantic few minutes phone call in the middle of winter night before the battery went out, the short taxi ride together from the port to her home, a brief welcome into the house before falling asleep in her room, waking up knowing that you're not going to see her till later date.
worst, out of thousand pictures from the trip, you only found two photos of you with her.
one is blurry, shameful enough to be shared with people. another is a group photo.
in short, there's nothing exclusive.

there's always excuses, other priority and duties that take the person away.

sounds jealous?

thought so. at first.

but there's this thing,

called ukhuwwah fillah.

being a friend to someone doesn't mean that we have to own him/ her.

if we care or love enough, we'll let that person go because we know that he/ she is running towards His ridha.

You're selfish if you try to make her feel guilty for not staying with you all the time.

who are we to stop others from trying to gain His rahmah?

if you realize that the person is doing her best to enter His jannah, are you going to just watch with those selfishness contained in you?

while others are sacrifing their jasad, some others need to sacrifice their emotion.


ever heard of al- Khansa' bin Amru?
she's that very woman who sent her four sons to be a martyr in the battle of Qadisiyah.
ordinary moms will be reluctant to do so.
but indeed, she's extraordinary.
there's a comment from a book, about this great woman,

"Oleh kerananya, siapapun yang tidak mempunyai fondasi ma'rifatullah dalam dirinya, ia akan sulit untuk memperoleh ketenangan, kedamaian, kebahagiaan dan kejayaan hakiki. Jika kita semakin mengenal siapa Allah, maka akan terasa semakin kecil nilai makhluk."

- AaGym, Meraih Bening Hati Dengan Manajemen Qolbu -

maybe the previous story of mine is a very tiny comparison to the great story of Khansa'.
but then, i couldn't help to think,
even if this tiny test from Allah couldn't I pass through, what's there to be like Khansa'?

family and friends of us is not our property.
they're Allah's right from the very beginning,
Allah lend them to us, to bring us closer to Him. not trying to take them away from Him (if you can do so :P )

this episode really opened up my eyes.
caring for someone is to care that Allah will care for she/he more.
your 'care' doesn't count if it comes along with your own selfishness, insensible jealousy and the urge to keep someone for your own self, hindering her/ him to do what they're supposed to do with this life.

though with teary eyes you bid farewell to her
never knowing when you all will meet again,
there's always these words that will sooth the hearts.

"Jumpa lagi nanti. kalau bukan kat sini, kat syurga nanti insyaallah."

with that,
though you're thousand miles apart,

you will always have the faith
that the other person is also striving their best to obtain the ticket to enter His jannah.

p/s: semoga allah sayang awak lebih dari kami semua sayangkan awak. happy birthday~!