masalah umat lagi besar

a text came.


"semalam, ade.......... (and problems told).

maaf la bashu. Mesir tengah sibuk berperang tapi saya duk qadaya mende camni,... "


kecomelan.

dalam musim2 macam ni, bukan sekali dapat text yg kurang lebih begini.


tersentuh,

bila ramai sebenarnya yang mengerti. masalah hati yang memang suka bolak balik ni lebih kecil dari masalah umat yg haru biru sekarang.

sebab tu,

mukmin tu jiwa dia harus besaaaarrr.
sebab hal- hal lain ni takkan mengecilkan hati dia. sebab jiwa dia seluas lautan.

ingat.

masalah umat lagi besar dari masalah emo2 kite ni.

dot.

dependency

takut

nak buat satu2 decision bila rasa belum cukup dekat dengan Allah



allahu.


=.=

Headstrong

One might regards it as ego, one might say it's herself born as a headstrong person.

Pernah orang kata saya ego tinggi.bukan pernah. Banyak kali.
Dont know whether it is gone or not, tapi dah jarang dengar.
Sekarang selalu dengar keras kepala. Headstrong.

Imagine you're working with more than a handful headstrong women for a couple of months. How the so-called 'headstrong' woman even deal with it.

But there's this thing called 'principle'.
What makes her stands her ground. What colours her mind, the very same thing will colours her acts.
However her mind is losing its tract, her act will seem like a person losing her values, her principles.
Hilang punca.
To make things clear, i'm talking about fikrah islam here.

Susah bila lost di tengah2 fikrah yang belum clear.
Susah bila terpaksa rewind balik memories, of how we dealt with things during our early years of tarbiyah.the part where we see ourselves better than these days.
The part of our better selves that we never want to lose.

Tapi tu la.
Jangan pernah buruk sangka dengan allah. Allah memang sediakan the best situation for us to live on. Jangan pernah salahkan situation, jangan pernah salahkan orang lain.
Tarbiyah perlu diperjuangkan. Bukan jatuh dari langit tiba2, bukan ada depan mata tanpa doa n usaha.
Every kedegilan yg kita ada, degil la utk tarbiyah.
Every ego yg kita ada, put it up high for allah.
Every kekerasan kepala yg kita ada, sekeras itu jugakla semangat and hati kita untuk dapat tarbiyah dari allah.
Allah takkan bagi segala sifat yang kita ada tu untuk jatuhkan kita. Sebab deen ni lah yang memuliakan kita selama ni.

Jangan pernah hilang!
Jangan pernah putus asa!
Jangan pernah buruk sangka dengan Allah dan orang lain.

You strut and fret on This path, tapi jangan pernah pilih jalan lain.
Bila Allah beri rasa, bila Allah lempar tali2 hidayah Dia, jangan pernah ignore. Jangan pernah rasa malas nak grab.
Peluk kuat2 rasa tu, pegang erat2 tali tu, like it is the last one that He'll give to you.

Sebab,

Waktu itu hidup.

titanium

really describes her well.

meet Titania Aleta, a very cute and strong 5 years old girl.

though agak kurang ethical di sini because am mentioning real name of a patient, tapi nama dia comel :)

i first met her during my jaga malam shift in the emergency unit near midnight. so basically i'm the first person she met, taking her history and doing physical examinations on her. sangat comell. with her fair skin,  curly hair and sort of quiet nature and all. sangat tak menyusahkan orang.
after the oncall doctor checked her, she needs to be admitted for dengue fever.
 and i told my friend yg jaga ward that night, that i volunteer to do daily follow ups and p.e. on titania.

dia tak mengeluh sikit pun kalau nak wat p.e. kalau sakit pun, dia tak cakap (because nak cepat balik? tak bagus gak sbnrnye.huhu). tapi seriously, compared to many other kids yg suka nangis2, with her memg buat p.e.sungguh2 from head to toe because she let me. and her mom pun sangat baik.hari2 borak, and it will make the 'edukasi pasien' part easier because our conversations keep flowing, without being strained by positions whatsoever. but titania remains shy and quiet and just tenungg je if i tried making conversation with her.

about a week jugak she's warded. on her last few days, cam lawak la bila mak dia cakap "dokter2 pada cantik2 semua. titania mau bawa pulang satu."
that really made my day.
not the cantik part, but part bawak balik tuh. kalo bawak balik then nak buat apa? lawak betul la adik ni :P

after she's getting better, she's out from hospital, and i also ended my rotation week in ward and in charge on policlinic pulak.
while busy doing history taking and p.e.on other waiting kids, i hear familiar voice calling out. "dokter cantik.dokter cantik." memula tak pandang,then a person touched  me. ooh mak titania rupenye.
rasa cam sangat happyyy because she still remembers me. and i'm wearing mask kot masa tu because of flu. then i look for shy titania yg berdiri next to her mom. then her mom said, "titania yg nampak dulu dokter and remembered. she asked me to call you." haaa comel sungguh titania.
looking good wearing pink dress, titania salam n cium tangan, and we talked a bit. still malu2, but she smiled a lot.

she came for control after being warded, and she's looking her best and well again. sangat2 hepi :)

knowing her,
allah made me realize that if we do sincerely interact with people, ikhsan and amanah towards our responsibilities, we'll be enjoying it and allah will make it enjoyable for us.

don't ever hope for people's gratifications. human never satisfies others. it's only Him, that are the best rewarder of all.

wallahi, saya sayang Allah :)