Up on the Hills

I arise and went, but not to Innisfree.

Up on the hills,

I hear the river’s streaming, gushing between rocks.

I hear the crickets sing,

Birds chirping,

Wind’s gushing,

The trees swayed. Leaves stirred.

Goats calling for attention, chicken clucks.

I sense the clearness of air,

The scent of pine trees,

the aroma of afternoon cooking,

the earthiness of barns,

the scent of light sprinkles from the sky,

the dampness of grass.

I see standing still mountains from afar,

Fairytale-like waterfalls and mossy rocks,

Clouds of cumulus making their way from east to west,

the crimson setting sun at the edge of horizon.

I see rattan-weaved wall of houses,

small buildings and shops and things in the town of the valley,

smoke freeing its way from the chimney,

children cheerfully waving,

adolescents by the street strumming guitar, humming local songs.

Old folks emptying their cups of tea, by the paddy fields.

Up on the hills,

Wherever this head turns, whatever this nasal senses and these eyes look,

they see signs of the Creator,

more clearly,

where His creations were left untouched by filthy hands and dirty greed of beings.

"Corruption has appeared throughout the land and sea by [reason of] what the hands of people have earned so He may let them taste part of [the consequence of] what they have done that perhaps they will return [to righteousness]" ar-Rum: 41

While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,

I feel them in the deep heart's core.

perfectionism

"saya bukan sempurna untuk mendapatkan yg sempurna"

- quoted from anonymous friend in fb

sekali baca, mesti dah dapat tangkap dia tgh cakap dalam konteks apa.

dua kali baca, rasa cam tak setuju pulak dgn statement tu. hohohoho. evil betul saya.

salah ke kalau kita mahukan yg sempurna?

sebab dalam kepala saya (semoga hati saya juga), yg sempurna tu hanya Dia.

salah ke kalau kita mahukan Yang Sempurna?

saya tahu saya takkan sekali-kali sempurna, tapi

salah ke kalau saya mahukan Yang Sempurna?

kalau saya cuba, berusaha, kejar apa yang Dia suka, tinggal apa yang Dia tak suka,

salah ke kalau saya mahukan Yang Sempurna?

di dunia tiada yg sempurna, tapi di Sana nanti, saya tahu ada Yang Sempurna.

salah ke kalau saya mahukan Yang Sempurna? kalau tidak di sini, di sana nanti.

salah ke?

teringat post seorang insan ni, betapa obsesi dia kepada syurga itu melimpahruah, walau dia sedar, diri serba kekurangan. sangat terasa dengan post itu, sebab terasa diri berada dlm posisi yg sama (atau mungkin lebih teruk lagi). nak ke Dia yang sempurna tu terima saya yg banyak cacat cela, karat jahiliyah bertapuk-tapuk, hati macam masuk lumpur, iman rendah macam teras bumi paling dalam?

ooooit. tak baik buruk sangka dengan Dia.

Daripada Anas r.a, katanya : “ Aku mendengar Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda : Allah s.w.t telah berfirman : “ Wahai anak Adam ! Sesungguhnya selagimana kamu meminta dan berharap kepada-Ku, maka Aku akan mengampuni segala dosa yang telah kamu lakukan dan Aku tidak pedulikannya lagi. Wahai anak Adam ! Sekiranya dosamu setinggi langit, kemudian kamu memohon ampun kepada-Ku, nescaya Aku mengampuni dosamu. Wahai anak Adam ! Jika kamu datang kepadaKu dengan kesalahan sepadat isi bumi, kemudian kamu menemui-Ku di akhirat dalam keadaan kamu tidak menyekutukan-Ku dengan yang lain, nescaya Aku datang kepadamu dengan keampunan sepenuh bumi pula.” [ Hadis riwayat Tirmizi ].

makanya, tak salah pun kalau kita mahukan Yang Sempurna ^^

escape

there's this hamster. that's always try to beat scofield in prison breaking. maybe even better than scofield, since the hamster doesnt make a tattoo of the blueprint of the prison on its fur. hohoho.
today, (for the 3rd time), it escaped again. tahu-tahu dah ada dalam bilik, jalan2, keluar masuk bawah almari baju, less than 2 metres away from me (at that time i was attending my laptop, when my eyes caught the glimpse of it running into the bottom of the spongebob-printed cupboard).

erk. escaped again.
the same hamster for the 3rd time, out of 11 hamsters.
i checked again the cage (it's actually a large aquarium that we use to place them). it's not opened. but just a small hole from the opening, with diameter less than 3 cm.
haih. lubang besar ni pun dia boleh escape.

looking at the inside of the cage/ aquarium, it's a mess. when was the last time we tidied it up? (blame the fortnightly exams + alasan lain yg direka2). hurm. memang patut pun hamster ni lari. ubah angin sikit compared to aquarium yg serabut tu.

hamster azizuddin

(dlm mode cuba memahami perasaan hamster): hurm kesian jugak. mesti la lari kalo umah dah sepah2, tuan tak tolong kemas. nasib baik makan still bagi. eh. itu pun skali sehari. eh. itu pun kalau tuan2 tak lupa. eyy rimas. serius nak keluar dari penjara ni.

orang lain tak nak keluar pun aku tak kesah. nak keluar jugak. mungkin dorang rasa selesa tinggal kat tempat kotor2 ni. but not me. tolooong sikit. kena keluar. cari tempat bersih sikit. kalau tak, nanti aku jugak yg sakit duduk tempat kotor2 ni.

(like a chant): escape! escape! escape! yeayyy~!

"Jika kamu menjauhi dosa-dosa besar di antara dosa-dosa yang dilarang kamu mengerjakannya, niscaya Kami hapus kesalahan-kesalahanmu (dosa-dosamu yang kecil) dan Kami masukkan kamu ke tempat yang mulia (surga)". An Nisaa: 31

“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, jagalah diri kalian dan keluarga kalian dari api neraka yang bahan bakarnya adalah manusia dan batu, penjaganya malaikat-malaikat yang kasar, yang keras, yang tidak mendurhakai Allah terhadap apa yang diperintahkan-Nya kepada mereka dan selalu mengerjakan apa yang diperintahkan.” (At-Tahrim: 6)

we dont want to be eternally in the puddle of our own sins, our own jahiliyah. whenever we stick around it, it pulls us like no other gravity can, making us drown, making us used to it. the truth, we're dirty no matter how we look at it. when we know that we need to escape, we know that we should try it, no matter how many times it will take, no matter how many effort that we need to summoned.

p/s: hamster pun tahu nak lari dari tempat kotor. sebab fitrahnya, semua makhluk tak suka benda kotor.

pak polisi~!

def: police, policeman.The civil force of a federal or local government, responsible for the prevention and detection of crime and the maintenance of public order.

cynical smile appeared when reading this

the situation is true. It's the reality we're having here, in jakarta. i guess this doesnt limit only to jakarta, but most of the places that i've been in indonesia, the situations are very much the same. every police station will have a tv, intended for the visitor's entertainments, not the police, as they'll too busy caught up in their 'supposed' works. It backfires; since there's not too many people are coming to the station, hence the officers are the one who watched it.

it happens not only in stations, but also the guard's posts in many neighbourhood. compared to malaysia, many of neighbourhoods here will have a guard post at the entrance of the neighbourhood. very much for the residents' safety. guards will take shifts, and in my neighbourhood alone, there are more than 4 pakcik guard rotating the shifts every day. many of the posts will have tv installed. sometimes not only the guards will watch, but countless homeless citizen, and others that can’t afford to buy a tv.

Football @ soccer is very much frenzied here, compared to malaysia. just imagine, if jakarta team (persija) has a match with other team, then even it's still in the afternoon, buses with supporters clad with orange jerseys (prange is the colour for this team) are everywhere, singing loudly the team's song, complete with drums, guitars and other things that will produce sound. sangat meriah~! and everyone in town will know that jakarta will have a match dat day. if the live supporters pun dah macam ni, of course there are countless more will watch via tv. seriously, every people in shops, stalls, guard posts will have their eyes glued to the tv. no wonder waktu malaysia vs sini punya team haritu kontroversi macam2. mungkin sampai tahap taasub.

guardpost dpan pintu masuk taman

usual sights bila jakarta ada match

and this will make their 'amanah' in vain.
we're not talking about ethics anymore.
ini soal amanah, tanggungjawab, where you're given salary because of it.
gaji butakah itu?
kadang2 orang gelak je bila cakap soal gaji buta. tapi itu duit yg kita tak sepatutnya dapat kalau kita tak buat kerja. maksud saya di sini bukannya kerja main2, tapi kerja betul2, sampai kita deserved for that even 1 cent.
satu pencemaran mata pulak rasanya bila tengok. sebab this will affect other people. example: when guards are watching tv, pencuri sume boleh masuk rumah orang.
bila polis tengok tv, nanti dah malas nak layan orang yg datang wat report, wat dengar tak dengar je. key points pada masalah org tu nanti terlepas pandang. sangat tak bagus. problems are not solved. even kad atm hilang pun amik masa lebih sejam utk taip/ tulis report. should be masa yg dorang tengok tv tu boleh pakai utk training taip esei banyak2 kat typewriter/ komputer.

tanggungjawab kena buat betul2, amanah yg orang bagi kena jaga. kita akan affect orang lain. one thing leads to another.
above all, kita yakin ke rezeki yg kita dapat tu, kita deserved utk peroleh?
kalau bukan bos/ cikgu/ lecturer kita tanya kat sini, nanti kat sana Tuan kita pulak akan tanya. haaa lagi takut kalau tak tau nak jawab apa waktu tu.

"Sesungguhnya solatku dan ibadatku, hidupku dan matiku, hanyalah untuk Allah Tuhan yang memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam. " - Al-An'am: 162

p/s: recheck diri sndri juga nih. tak boleh main2. kalau tak, rezeki yg Allah bagi kat saya skrg, saya taktau nak jawab apa kat akhirat nanti utk apa saya pakai sume rezeki yg allah bagi tu.

occupied.dot.

sibuk fikir macam mana nak distract attention dari perkara2 yang tak perlu @ tak penting.

pening, macam mana nak concentrate.
tapi tahu, apa sebenarnya yang dikejar, apa sebenarnya yang dicari.

eh cik A.
kalau dah tahu apa yg dikejar, tahu apa yg dicari, kenapa pening-pening lagi?

eh cik B.
memangla tahu, tapi still tak boleh fokus.
sebabnya, terasa macam tak cukup kekuatan.
sebabnya, sendiri tahu, hati tu still ada masalah.

hurm cik A,
haha. terlintas dalam kepala cik B ni, "occupying one's mind begins with the heart. once the heart is rightfully set, then the rest will follow. including the mind."
bukan saja2 dalam kepala cik B ni ha yang cakap, tapi ada hadis nabi cakap camni.

hurm cik B,
cik A tahu dah pasal tu. lama dah tahu.
kene mohon kekuatan banyak2 nih.
"strength is with none but Allah".
tapi kan, rasa ada hikmah jugak allah bg ujian ni. at least ada mende tak baik yg Allah jauhkan cik A dari buat.
tak mengarut sangat compared to kalau takde ujian ni.
tapi tahu, tak boleh berlama-lama dalam ujian ni. kene settlekan cepat2. baru boleh maju.




above all, Allah akan uji kita dengan mende tu selagi kita belum settle ujian tu. ingat ye, cik A dan cik B.