Tuesday, May 17, 2011

sickness parameter

we know we're sick when we woke up at 2am after only 3 hours sleep only to find out that we're going to throw up the lunch we ate at the cafe.

we know we're sick when every hour after that, we still woke up again and again, only to throw up everything that's inside our gastrointestinal tract.

we know we're sick when finally, the yellowish green liquid is vomitted, drained into the sink.

we know we need to seek the doctor when we dont know what else to do, scary thoughts running into our head as if we might die the next time we throw up, we dont know what's the right medication to take because we're too afraid of the side effects like what we learnt in pharmacology classes. we just know that we need to seek the doctor. immediately.

i wonder if our Iman's parameter is just like that.

if the parameter is so obvious, screaming to you that now you're in a low state of Iman, giving you external signals as blinding as the sunlight, you must be hurriedly taking your wudhu', perform a prayer or something, reciting the Quran verses or crying and crying, regretting your wrong doings day and night.

unfortunately, the reality isnt like that.

some might just too carried away, their Iman is being chronically ill day by day. it's not acute, it's just chronic. the signs are there, the simptoms are there, but maybe too vague for the blind hearts to see.

maybe that's the reason why we should do medical checkups once in a while.

that's the reason why we should muhasabah more and more than we're doing physical examinations.

Have they not travelled through the land, and have they hearts wherewith to understand and ears wherewith to hear? Verily, it is not the eyes that grow blind, but it is the hearts which are in the chest that grow blind. (QS: al- Hajj:46)

p/s: still in the state of healing though. jazakillahu khairan katseera to housemates, Tigers, sisters n sesapa je la. Allah je yg boleh balas budi baik + doa kalian :)


f said...

exactly what i pondered upon yesterday. kita kena sangat kenal iman kita kan, apa sign2 dia tengah nak jatuh, apa tanda dah ok sikit, ubat2 yang berkesan dan pantas tindakannya utk kita. hmm

itana said...

yup. exactly :)

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