Fure~! Fure~!

def: yell, cheers, tepuk sorak, etc.


imagine this.

between two groups, say group A and B.

for A,

they stand in line, they yell out loud synchronously. takbir and tahmid, threatening words towards their opponent.

when they finished,

the B group simply lining up, running towards resting-groupA, encircling them while running.

they make poses, they aimed at A group, cheering out loud while encircling A.

as a spectator,

it's obvious that the A group was stunned by  B doings, feeling entrapped by the surrounding B. what's more, their faces when B running towards them were precious.
by their action and reaction,
it simply seems like B has won against A.


then one said after watching the occurence.

"satu benda tu akan hebat (or at least nampak hebat) bila bergerak. dan kuat."

remember that.

mungkin syurga bukan untuk orang yg pentingkan diri.

recent easter break.
yes, Indonesia do have a public holiday on easter.
a very short weekend, tapi sangat-sangatla sentap & menusuk.
a very simple theme, 'Pemburu syurga'.

tak perlu bicara tentang mujahadah dan syahid, andai tumuhat (obsession) kepada syurga pun belum setel.

obsession yg sampai selalu terfikir, selalu mahu, selalu bertindak sesuai ke arah itu.
bukan tumuhat yang dhaif, esok lusa dah lupa, tak membuahkan amal pun.

then came this pillow talk session, where we talk about, 'if we're in jannah, what kind of reward that we would like to request."

though belum jejak syurga lagi, impian harus besar, like al-khattab said ;)

wants are divided into 2.
material wants, and non- material.
ada yg nak rumah besarr (mahligai of course), ada yg nak travel to places never been, ada yg even said that she wants a Ferrari.

then came to this adik yg comel.
"saya nak semua keluarga saya ada kat situ jugak."
with a sob, she continued on,
"kalau tak, bagi la apa-apa pun, mesti still akan rasa tak lengkap."
then few others agree with her.

the very moment she said 'keluarga',
rasa sangat sedih.
because truly, the very first thing came to my mind when the topic been brought up, is worldly/ material means.
sedih, sebab rasa macam menjual ikan2 busuk dengan sangat berjayanya. (read: selfish)

betul, kat akhirat nanti kita dinilai sorang- sorang. bukan satu group usrah, bukan jugak dengan housemate, lain sebagainya.
tapi yg nak dihighlight kat sini is this.
bila pentingkan diri, ni la hasilnya.
kita lupa untuk fikir tentang orang lain, kita lupa untuk bawa dan ajak orang lain sama- sama, kita seronok n sibuk dengan kekhusyukan sendiri.
maka, jadilah kita ahli ibadah yg bermain- main! (see: muntalaq)
macam mana kita nak kata kita dah laksanakan syahadatul haq tu kalau dok sibuk dengan kebaikan sendiri.

=.=

rasenye,
syurga bukanla untuk orang yang pentingkan diri.


huwaaaaaaaaaaa~~~   

 "Dan orang yang beriman, dan mengikuti mereka keturunan mereka dengan keimanan, Kami (Allah) pertemukan keturunan mereka dengan mereka, dan Kami (Allah) tidak mengurangi sedikit pun daripada amal mereka, setiap orang terikat dengan apa yang dikerjakannya"

pat pat pat

when we hit rock bottom,

kadang2 all we need is just some pats in the back.

seldomly talk to my father. when he called, after a few greetings and 'sihat ke?', 'tengah buat apa?', he'll pass the phone to mak. or aziz. or whoever was there.

but deeply, i know he cares.

he taught us the hard way.

seriously hard way.


last sem break,  banyak cakap pasal clinical, mentally unprepared, takut, dh takde cuti dah smpai abis blaja, takleh balik mlysia dah smpai tahun depan, bla bla bla kat umah.
penat kot dorang dengar.
he always asked, 'dah tahu ke masuk hospital mana nanti?'
on other days, he asked again. ramai gak yg tanya.
kadang2, mulut yg takde insurans ni cakap je, 'leh google je kot nanti, tengok macam mana.'

allahu.... =.=

then came the day i had to fly back to jakarta.
he came to klia during his lunch break. surprise much.

came the bidding farewell part.
salam him as always.
unexpectedly, he patted my shoulder.
twice or thrice i can't remember, because i was in a daze.
ayah pats me~!


such a simple contact truly can move one, eh. 

and that will make me remember, esp in times when i hit low.

and to think of it again, it's interesting to think back of how Allah prepared myself for this time, so that i won't break down again.

insyaallah i'll come back much stronger.

just you wait~! (mr higgins, just you wait~! eh. randomness ;p )


and for times to come when i need some pats, i'll remember yours. and from this fav surah,

"Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured."

Ar- Ra'd: 28

failure

bila bangun tido nangis bersungguh tak pasal-pasal,


faham,

rupanya still belum lepas lagi ujian ni.


allahu.


worried, disturbed mind.