sickness parameter

we know we're sick when we woke up at 2am after only 3 hours sleep only to find out that we're going to throw up the lunch we ate at the cafe.

we know we're sick when every hour after that, we still woke up again and again, only to throw up everything that's inside our gastrointestinal tract.

we know we're sick when finally, the yellowish green liquid is vomitted, drained into the sink.

we know we need to seek the doctor when we dont know what else to do, scary thoughts running into our head as if we might die the next time we throw up, we dont know what's the right medication to take because we're too afraid of the side effects like what we learnt in pharmacology classes. we just know that we need to seek the doctor. immediately.


i wonder if our Iman's parameter is just like that.

if the parameter is so obvious, screaming to you that now you're in a low state of Iman, giving you external signals as blinding as the sunlight, you must be hurriedly taking your wudhu', perform a prayer or something, reciting the Quran verses or crying and crying, regretting your wrong doings day and night.

unfortunately, the reality isnt like that.

some might just too carried away, their Iman is being chronically ill day by day. it's not acute, it's just chronic. the signs are there, the simptoms are there, but maybe too vague for the blind hearts to see.

maybe that's the reason why we should do medical checkups once in a while.

that's the reason why we should muhasabah more and more than we're doing physical examinations.

Have they not travelled through the land, and have they hearts wherewith to understand and ears wherewith to hear? Verily, it is not the eyes that grow blind, but it is the hearts which are in the chest that grow blind. (QS: al- Hajj:46)

p/s: still in the state of healing though. jazakillahu khairan katseera to housemates, Tigers, sisters n sesapa je la. Allah je yg boleh balas budi baik + doa kalian :)

rubik's philosophy.

it's the Rubik's cube.

invented by Erno Rubik, born Hungarian, a sculptor.

sampai sekarang saya tak tahu nak solve kan kotak rubik ni.
Before, i'm amazed by watching people solving it. seriously my utter respect goes to them. Tabik sangat2. but then, many manyyy people around me can solve it. Later i discovered that there's a technique solving it. Laa... kalau belajar, memangla boleh.

btw, what i wrote in this only valid for those yang berjaya solvekan cube ni by their own mind & susah-payah, bukannya utk orang2 yang berjaya sebab hafal step2 nak solvekan je. I learned it tak sampai halfway pun. then saya taknak dah. this is not my type of game. saya yakin kalau saya belajar sampai habis, mesti saya pun boleh solve kan macam org lain gak (trying to be optimist).



i watched something. discussing about the cube (bukan cube dalam transformers tu.ini Rubik's). The very thing that makes the cube is different from others is how you're going to solve it. there's 6 surfaces, and each move you make will affect others. while you might succeed in clearing a line or a surface, you have to bear in mind that the others might be randomly colourful. you solved one part, but the others are not. kalau nak solvekan semua sekali betul2, we have to consider the others, taking steps that will also affect the others positively. simultaneous changes in many parts are required, and the changes are on going, until all of the surfaces are solved. until your aim are reached.

kadang-kadang kita dah rasa selesa dengan satu- satu keadaan tu, padahal itu mungkin bukan yang terbaik untuk kita. sedikit perubahan pada zon selesa itu perlu, supaya kita akan lebih dekat dengan matlamat kita. perubahan itu mungkin akan affect orang- orang yang berada di sekeliling kita, tapi moga- moga perubahan itu kepada yg lebih baik. bila dah selesa kembali, berubah lagi untuk yang lebih baik. selesa lagi, berubah lagi. selesa lagi, berubah lagi. the cycle will goes on, until matlamat kita yg sebenar tercapai. eh. bukan cycle sebenarnya, tapi saya rasa lebih menyerupai sebuah tangga. sampai satu stage, ada perubahan yang diperlukan. kemudian naik lagi tangga baru, dan kita makin mendekati matlamat kita.

matlamat apa?

tepuk dada, tanya iman.