masking emotions

some show up strong, indifferent face to cover torn hearts hiding behind.

they might seem cold, heartless.

they choose not to expose what they feel for fear of their reputation.

namely, status as a doctor, or anyone with authority.

empathy, as what we always trained to be, is never the same as sympathy.

the way you express it is different.

in this psych rotation, we try to uncover scathed souls.
 to delved with their personalities, their thoughts and problems. 
one might not be able to avoid the circumstances where a patient's situation touches our hearts.
the care, concern and endless support from family..
how old couples still going strong taking care of their mentally disordered but growing old child.
some doctors quickly dismiss dramas in front of their eyes.
some did it because they couldn't care much. no empathy whatsoever.
but to think kindly of them, one might think they did it for fear of breaking their own hearts after watching such care and concern and so-called 'drama'.

there's this situation that i had..
when in polyclinic for psych, an old man and woman came in.. aging more than half of the decade, bringing their son, which is older than me. mentally retarded but getting better, the son couldnt take care of himself without his parents' help.
the father taking out a note that the father prepared, consisting of his son behaviour at home.
neatly written, he read it out loud with tremors as he himself is getting old..
the doctor quickly cuts the father down, discontinuing what the father wanted to read...
then the father took out another note that had his son's medication names and dosage.
the doctor acted like previously. and me watching couldnt help but to pity the father's effort.
but when they're out of the room.. the doctor said, ''i pity them actually.. i couldnt think of who's going to take care of the son when the parents are pass away.."
then i realized that the doctor actually do sympathize with them..

but then this dear friend of mine says..
"why didnt he show his emotion or empathy or sympathy whatsoever in front of them instead of talking about it behind their back?
the patient and the parent wouldnt know that the doctor actually do empathized with them..because what they saw in front of them is a doctor who cut out what the father tried to say, and with no feelings at all..what's the use of talking about it afterward.. "

and that made me think..

though we might want to hide our emotion because we want to gain people's respect or securing our reputation, sometimes we have to show them, just because.
warm hearts enliven other's too.
cold hearts shut the other's down.

psychiatry is not easy.

so as treating souls.

.