Wednesday, June 9, 2010

suffocate

the mud.
it sticks us to the ground.
wet, sticky, hard to be removed, hard to move our own body.
it sticks us to the place where we shouldnt be. instead of flying high, we keep struggling at the same old point.
nothing changed. but ourselves, which getting dirtier and dirtier.

for some, they enjoy themselves to be in the mud. playing, splashing the mud around. some of them might want to come clean, but have no effort to get out of that place. some of them are just too caught up playing, without realizing that they're sinking deeper and deeper into the mud.
there will come one day, when God ask the angel to take their life away, they die drowning in the mud.



*futur itu memenatkan.

futur itu menjauhkan kita dari Dia.

futur itu membuatkan kita kembali bergelumang dengan benda-benda kotor yang kononnya telah kita tinggalkan.

kita tidak mahu menjadi manusia biasa. kita mahu menjadi hamba-Nya yg luar biasa.

"Aku merasa kaget dan hairan mengapa manusia jatuh ke dalam lumpur yg kotor dan penuh penyakit ini? Mengapa mereka tidak mendengar seruan Allah yg Maha Tinggi dan Maha Besar, iaitu seruan yg dapat meluhur dan membersihkan usia seseorang? Mengapa manusia sanggup hidup dalam paya yg busuk, di tahap yg amat rendah dan dalam gelita kesesatan yg menghitam itu, sedangkan mereka mempunyai padang-padang yg bersih, tempat2 tinggi dan cahay yg terang- benderang?" - Syed Qutb, mukaddimah fi zilalil quran.

“Sesungguhnya syaitan itu adalah musuh bagimu, maka anggaplah ia musuh(mu), karena sesungguhnya syaitan-syaitan itu hanya mengajak golongannya supaya mereka menjadi penghuni neraka yang menyala-nyala” .Al-Fathiir : 6


*futur: melemah, hilang semangat,iman berkurang esp dlm memperjuangkan islam.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

open your eyes, will you?

again, from the alchemist (the book has become my favourite so far :D )

Early in the story, when the boy is still a shepherd, a flashback crosses his mind. he remembered the 1st time he mentioned to his father that he wants to become a shepherd so that he could see the world. In his world, a job that could travel most is being a shepherd. he ought to find the best grass, purest water to feed his sheeps. he goes around Spain to find a good grazing field. He had seen many castles and met many people. He can speak Latin, Spanish and even studied theology. The world was huge and inexhaustible, and he had only to allow his sheep to set the route for a while, and he would discover other interesting things. The only regrettable problem is that the sheeps dont ever realize that they're walking a new route every day. They dont see that the fields are new and the seasons change. All that they think about is food and water. "Maybe we are all that way," mused the boy.



It is an irony that the boy had travel to many places with his sheeps, but in the end, he's the one that learn many things (because he wanted to), but his sheeps never aware of happenings around them, and only think of food and water. After travelling to many places, it's such a waste if we're end up being just like the sheep. So many signs of His existence, His mightiness around us. But if we're too caught up in this small world of ours, we end up never realizing anything. Life has too much in store for us. Which leads us to find the truth. Him. Even a single step outside our door could make a difference, if we're aware of where, what, and why we're doing what we have in mind.

Just take sometimes to reflect on our ownselves, can we?

Mereka memiliki hati tetapi tidak digunakannya untuk memahami. Mereka memiliki telinga tetapi tidak digunakan untuk mendengar. Mereka memiliki mata tetapi tidak digunakan untuk melihat. Mereka ini seperti binatang ternak. Bahkan lebih buruk. Mereka adalah orang-orang yang lalai”, (Al A’raf: 179)

Monday, May 17, 2010

where will your dreams bring you?

from The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho. some might say that this book is very symbolic. For me, it's deep indeed. Here is a part from the book that I think really interesting, and should be ponder upon.

(rephrased form, for fear of being accused plagiarised :P )

The main protagonist of the story is a boy whose homeland is in Spain and quit being a shepherd to pursue his dream (which is to find a treasure near Pyramids in Egypt). Series of unfortunate events fall on him, and situation forced him to work in a crystal shop to make some savings so that he can continue his journey to the pyramids. The owner of the shop is a devout muslim (typical in Egypt indeed), who performed the 5 obligations as a muslim well, except for the fifth, the pilgrimage. With watery eyes,the merchant told the boy that since he was a kid, he saved his money so that he can open this shop and someday that he will be rich, he will go to Mecca. It's his biggest dream indeed. Then the boy said to him that now the merchant is rich enough to afford the pilgrimage. So many people passing through the shop everyday to go to Mecca, and some are even poorer than the merchant. What else does the merchant wait for to go there?

The merchant's answer: Because it's the thought of Mecca that keeps me alive. That's what helps me face these days that are all the same, these mute crystals on the shelves and lunch and dinner at that same horrible cafe. I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go on living. I'm different from you. you live to realize your dream, but for me, it's enough to just dream..


It's a pity that the merchant limit his dream to just only go to Mecca for the pilgrimage. Not beyond that. What he says is true, and that's what's happening in our society today. People only live to live a short dream, say, to be a doctor, an engineer, etcetera etcetera.. Once they'll become a doctor, what else will they be? A sub-specialist? then what? then what? and again, then what? it's not wrong to think like what the merchant did as he makes his dream as an inspiration for him to live the present fully. But it's a pity, because he will never go anywhere.

When we dream or put our aim for this world only, then the world is the end of it.
We want to dream big, right?
We believe that there's more to life, right?
We aim for Allah's paradise right?
We dont want our happiness to stop just until we die, right?

rethoric.

Hai orang-orang yang beriman, sukakah kamu Aku tunjukkan suatu perniagaan yang dapat menyelamatkanmu dari azab yang pedih? (yaitu) kamu beriman kepada Allah dan RasulNya dan berjihad di jalan Allah dengan harta dan jiwamu. Itulah yang lebih baik bagimu, jika kamu Mengetahui. Niscaya Allah akan mengampuni dosa-dosamu dan memasukkanmu ke dalam jannah yang mengalir di bawahnya sungai-sungai; dan (memasukkan kamu) ke tempat tinggal yang baik di dalam jannah ‘Adn. Itulah keberuntungan yang besar. (QS : As-Shaff : 10-12)

Friday, April 23, 2010

the notebook(s)

assalamualaikum.

seeing those faces that i always know today, it feels like it has been such a long time since the last time i meet them.
sitting there again. opening up the notebook to jote down anything valuable for this soul of mine.
two notebooks were brought along. one has notes that i got way back from malaysia. as a reference since i'll be listening to a similar topic today.
the other notebook is a fresh one, for me to write anything new today.

the old notebook flipped.
it's a small book. cute one. i kept since i was in standard 6.
too many things were written there.
all the programs that i have been.
many murabbis that have poured their will and soul to open our eyes.
the spirit that this soul felt, elevated when her iman is far from the x- axis.
but why does the Me today has lost those precious feelings?

(at the Heart's door)
knock. knock.
O0h my. it's so hard.
i cant see anything inside.
please shove some light inside so that i can see.




the notebook was closed.
the silly looking handwriting inside it replenishes this heart of mine.
before today, i've learned many things.
that's what the notebook showed me.
it seems like i forgot.
but now i remember again.


Berapa banyak ilmu yang kita sudah pernah peroleh, tapi hanya sedikit yang menjadi fikrah.

Go back and check yourself again.

It will be a waste of many trees that will be cut for the sake of making a notebook, but unfortunately the thing inside the notebook has never been revised, or remembered by it's owner. What a great lost.

"Perumpamaan orang- orang yang diberi tugas membawa Taurat, kemudian mereka tidak membawakannya (tidak mengamalkannya) adalah seperti keldai yang membawa kitab- kitab yang sangat tebal (tetapi tidak memahaminya). Sangat buruk perumpamaan kaum yang mendustakan ayat- ayat Allah. Dan Allah tidak memberi petunjuk kepada orang yang zalim"
Al-Jumu'ah: 05.

Friday, April 2, 2010

tapak

2001.

UPSR.

cikgu: awak semua mesti belajar sungguh-sungguh untuk peperiksaan ni. ia akan menjadi tapak untuk kamu semua untuk dapat tempat di sekolah2 yg bagus nanti. mudahkan awak untuk capai cita2 awak.

2004.

PMR.

cikgu: buat exam ni betul- betul. nanti awak boleh stay di skolah ni, atau awak keluar dan ambil jurusan lain, yg lari dari cita- cita awak. ini tapak untuk awak berjaya.


2006.

SPM.

ini peperiksaan paling penting untuk awak. akan tentukan apa yg awak akan jadi pada masa depan nanti. semuanya nanti terletak pada keputusan peperiksaan ni. inilah tapak untuk kehidupan awak yg akan datang.


2009.

International Baccalaureate exam May 2009.

this is just the beginning of your journey to become a doctor.
again, it's the 'Step'. Tapak .

a friend of mine said,
"asyik tapak je. bila nak betul- betulnya??"

saya tersenyum.
sinis.
(another friend of mine realized i'm smiling cynically)

atmaku berkata:

"Awak lupa yg hidup ni hanya permainan dan senda gurau? tiada yang realiti kat sini. yang 'betul- betul' tu hanya di sana nanti. Afterlife.

Indeed, this world that we're living today is a step towards the other world. the other life. if you cant see beyond this world, then you'll always whining, why does the hardship in this life never ends?

Kenapa susah sangat nak belajar jadi doktor ni?
Kenapa banyak sangat exam ni?
Kenapa tebal sangat buku anatomi ni?
Kenapa lama sangat belajar nak grad ni?
Kenapa aku pilih nak jadi doktor dulu?
Kenapa, kenapa, kenapa?

Try ketuk sikit kepala awak tu. Suruh kepala awak fikir. Apa yang awak kejar kat dunia ni selain cita-cita awak yg takdela hebat sangat tuh. Sila jawab.




apa yang kita kejar sebenarnya?

hidup = sentiasa membuat kita terkejar- kejar,

jika kita tidak nampak matlamat hidup.

tidak nampak destinasi hidup terakhir.

tidak nampak apa yang menunggu di sebalik yang zahir.