in the state of ebullience

saya nak taufeeq~!

2012-02-10T08:23:00.000-08:00

heee nak taufiq dari Dia ;)

kalau dah usaha macam-macam, then the rest is on Him.

bila belek-belek balik notes, buku, pakcik google, recording, macam- macam perasaan ada.

banyak betul reminder Allah nak bagi.

Rasulullah dalam masa 3 tahun dakwah secara sirr (rahsia), berjaya grab kurang lebih 40 sahabat yang bukan calang-calang.

dakwah kita macam mana ye? uhuk uhuk tersedak2.

salahuddin al-ayubi. waktu nak bebaskan al-quds, dia sakit kuat yang memang susah nak bangun. Doktor pun kena duduk dengan dia untuk jaga waktu malam. tapi bila siang je, dengan cool nye Salahuddin cakap macam ni, "Penyakit akan meninggalkanku apabila aku menunggang kuda." Salahuddin hanya akan kembali ke khemah after dah berikan arahan untuk kawalan keselamatan pada waktu malam. Hebatnyeee~~~~~~

kita, sakit sikit dah taknak pegi kelas. demam sikit dah nak lari dari daurah. huahuahuahua.

Umar abdul Aziz pun best. waktu malam, Umar akan kumpulkan fuqaha', setiap malam. mereka saling memperingatkan tentang mati & kiamat, then sama2 menangis sebab takut pada azab, seolah- olah macam ada jenayah di antara mereka.

macam cool kan wat circle memalam. Tiap-tiap malam pulak tu. kita buat apa yeh? tidoq, belaja, sampai lupa pasal mati n kiamat. bahaya sungguh.

huu, semoga allah menjaga hati- hati kita nih. nak terus semangat, nak terus tsabat sampai bila- bila. semoga allah beri kita taufiq utk terus dipermudahkan sesuai dengan kemampuan kita di atas jalan ni.

salam alaik ;)

antara mende yg wajib study sekarang~! ganbare~!

peringatan buat yg empunya diri: moga diluruskan niat ke acheh nanti. moga dapat bawa balik benda yg berharga. moga dapat mengalirkan semangat & membasahkan jiwa2 orang lain di sana, juga di sini. moga diberi taufeeq dari Dia ;)

dirty little secret

2012-02-09T07:58:00.000-08:00

do you have it?

get rid of it.

pernah buat@ simpan something sorok-sorok?

orang mungkin tak tahu. tapi Dia semua tahu.

sensitization. jangan bagi peluang ia berlaku. ni semua serangan pemikiran. suap-suap, sampai lama-lama dah lali.

susah, bila diri dah rasa terbiasa buat dosa.

susah, bila titik hitam yang asalnya titik tu dah mula bertakung, dah jadi lopak, dah jadi lubang yang dalam. susah, bila titik-lopak-lubang itu dah boleh rosakkan structure hati kita.

kalau ada so-called 'dirty little secret', fikir dalam-dalam.
"ini secret ke dosa ke jahiliyah yang tak tanggal-tanggal lagi?"

try tepuk dada, tak perlu tanya hati. try rasa dulu. hati tu tengah sakit ke tak?

sebab kalau tanya hati, tapi hati pun tak mampu@ tak tahu nak jawab apa, memang parah la.

best tengok lampu. bila malap, kita dah ada warning. bila terbakar, kita terus tukar.

astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah.

semoga Dia menilai usaha-usaha kita.

the glass on shelf

2012-01-03T09:10:00.000-08:00

a young woman entered an antique shop.

the owner greets her, like usual. "new thing came today. it is glass bottle. on the shelf there."

it's just an ordinary looking clear bottle. small, not bigger than the size of her palm.

the young woman asks," it's just an ordinary bottle. what makes it can be sold in this antique shop?"

the owner smiled. "true, it's just an ordinary bottle. but the bottle was from many years before, ages, but still not broken. that's why the bottle is here, on the shelf in antique shop."

the young woman innocently replied, "o0h. so there is actually a value for being not broken."

................................................

people, there is a value for being not broken.
though others or you yourself dont think much of your self,
there is actually a value in you, provided that you know that you're doing the right thing.
maybe people cant see it, but He is the best judge of all.
drag our feet, no matter how slow we are. but just dont break our selves.
pull ourselves together, till we reach the jannah.

quoted from Tsure ga Utsu ni Narimashite. 23 dec 2011.

旅 (tabi).

2012-01-01T00:58:00.000-08:00

def: journey.

1 jan 2012, 11.15am (mlys time) marks the end of my very first long journey.

21st dec, 11.30 pm : arrived in klia from jakarta.
22nd dec 2011, 7.30 pm: depart from klia- singapore- munich.
23rd dec 2011, 7.35 am: arrived in manchester airport. trains to ambleside, lake district.
24th dec 2011, 8.45 pm: arrived in london.
27th dec 2011, 7.35 pm: trains london- holyhead. ferry to dublin
30th dec 2011, 10.15 pm: dublin- manchester
31th dec 2011, 8.55 am: manchester- munich- singapore.
1st jan 2012, 11.15 am: arrived. klia.

the decision was made less than a month from the starting day. subhanallah, many reactions i got when i break the news to people.

reaction i:

"parents awak pegi skali tak?"
me: tak.
"pecaya betul yeh parents awak kat awak.pergi berdua je dengan adik."
me: o0h. betul jugak eh. (terdiam. sebab baru terfikir pasal trust dari mak ayah. terdiam panjang lagi. sebab bila org percayakan kita, ada amanah dan tanggungjawab di situ).

reaction ii:

"wahhh. boleh la kita buat gathering T***** sedunia~!"
"(and many other yeays n setujuss from the conference)"

reaction iii:

"bashu, apa hadaf awak? awak kena letak hadaf. nanti bolehla kami bantu mana2 yg dapat"

soalan paling banyak saya dapat masa 1st day di sana: "awak tak jetlag ke? kenapa macam tak penat?"

(mungkin hati yg berbunga + himmah yg tersiram kembali berjaya mengatasi kesuraman winter + jetlag yg tipikal pd org yg travel merentas longitude.atau mungkin saya dah tidoq banyak sgt dlm flight smpai tak ngantuk dah :P)

referring to this post, mungkin saya patut buat revision pada post itu, sebab subhanallah, saya dapat sesuatu yg sangat sangat berharga di situ, yang saya rasa Allah memang sengaja meletakkan saya dalam kondisi itu, dengan perasaan itu, supaya saya betul-betul nampak apa tarbiyah yg Dia nak saya dapat. berkaca-kaca jugakla mata saya ni walaupun tak masuk habuk.

nak sampai dublin pun sgt banyak dugaan.
allah hijab mata kami, allah ubah plan kami, diri yg hampir putus asa & nak tido je taknak fikir apa dah, kondisi yg mencekik (people, duit, waktu yg suntuk), dan wallahua'lam lagi.
takut, seolah-olah Dia tak izinkan.

subhanallah, lagi besar tarbiyah di situ.
saya jumpa macam2 di bumi dabelin (abaikan ejaan saya. Kami memang suka eja mcm ni ^^). saya rasa macam2 di bumi dabelin. saya kutip macam2 di bumi dabelin insyaallah.
ada orang czech, ada orang Oz, ada orang UK.
kalau antunna risau pasai hak yg tak tertunai ke atas saya, jangan risau. sebab bagi saya, seorang daie itu adalah seorang yg mampu memanipulasikan kondisi, sehingga kondisi itu nanti yg akan menyokong apa yg dibawa/diniatkan. daie itu adalah orang yang mampu mencari hikmah, macam yg nabi suruh ;)

esok perlu pulang ke jakarta.
lusa kelas mula.

jazakumullahu khairan katseera kpd semua yg saya sempat jumpa. kpd yg menyumbang macam2. kpd yg berdoa. kpd yg berkata-kata. kpd yg mengirim pesan. kpd yg membuat mata saya berkaca-kaca. kpd Dia yg memberi kekuatan dan perlindungan. anda semua adalah watak-watak dalam cerita saya ^_^

moga terus tsabat, seperti gelas antik itu :)

lake district. sdg tunggu seseorg.

manchester

london

dublin

munich yg snowy

wavelength

2011-12-25T13:33:00.000-08:00

have you ever been with people who do not have the same wavelength with you?
you knew it only when your heart screams at you,
that it does not want to be there,
no matter how great the place is,
no matter how 'fun' your logical mind says it is.

instead, you just want to run your feet
to the place which you know where the people of the same wavelength are,
despite how short the time you spend together with them, it feels like you've known them forever.
where you know that you can talk about something that's the true realism.
where you know it's always been the place where your soul is truly belongs.

have you ever feel it?

smoga allah terus beri kekuatan.

p/s: tak sabar nk jumpa tigers comel sedunia di pulau seberang nanti :)

struck =.=

2011-12-06T08:15:00.000-08:00

kalau murabbi dapat (fikrah) 50sen, mutarabbi mungkin dapat 1 sen je.
paling banyak pun mungkin 25 sen.

kalau murabbi lari (dari tarbiyah) 2 langkah, mutarabbi mungkin sampai 2 kilometer.

kalau murabbi buat (jahiliyah) sikit, mutarabbi mungkin akan jauuh lebih banyak.

(quoted: daieah malaya ^^ )

being left behind?

statements di atas adalah utk reflection ye. bukan menidakkan bahawa mutarabbi tidak akan lebih baik dari murabbi (itu yg sangat baik utk dicapai), tapi untuk refleksi kepada semua yg clarify diri sebagai daie + daieah, so that kita tidak menuding jari + pening + keciwa, sebab bila recheck balik, mana mungkin akar @ batang pokok yg rapuh, sakit, berkulat-kulat mampu utk menghasilkan daun2 + buah2 + ranting2 yg subur dan kuat.

Up on the Hills

2011-11-27T07:49:00.000-08:00

I arise and went, but not to Innisfree.

Up on the hills,

I hear the river’s streaming, gushing between rocks.

I hear the crickets sing,

Birds chirping,

Wind’s gushing,

The trees swayed. Leaves stirred.

Goats calling for attention, chicken clucks.

I sense the clearness of air,

The scent of pine trees,

the aroma of afternoon cooking,

the earthiness of barns,

the scent of light sprinkles from the sky,

the dampness of grass.

I see standing still mountains from afar,

Fairytale-like waterfalls and mossy rocks,

Clouds of cumulus making their way from east to west,

the crimson setting sun at the edge of horizon.

I see rattan-weaved wall of houses,

small buildings and shops and things in the town of the valley,

smoke freeing its way from the chimney,

children cheerfully waving,

adolescents by the street strumming guitar, humming local songs.

Old folks emptying their cups of tea, by the paddy fields.

Up on the hills,

Wherever this head turns, whatever this nasal senses and these eyes look,

they see signs of the Creator,

more clearly,

where His creations were left untouched by filthy hands and dirty greed of beings.

"Corruption has appeared throughout the land and sea by [reason of] what the hands of people have earned so He may let them taste part of [the consequence of] what they have done that perhaps they will return [to righteousness]" ar-Rum: 41

While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,

I feel them in the deep heart's core.

perfectionism

2011-11-17T16:25:00.000-08:00

"saya bukan sempurna untuk mendapatkan yg sempurna"

- quoted from anonymous friend in fb

sekali baca, mesti dah dapat tangkap dia tgh cakap dalam konteks apa.

dua kali baca, rasa cam tak setuju pulak dgn statement tu. hohohoho. evil betul saya.

salah ke kalau kita mahukan yg sempurna?

sebab dalam kepala saya (semoga hati saya juga), yg sempurna tu hanya Dia.

salah ke kalau kita mahukan Yang Sempurna?

saya tahu saya takkan sekali-kali sempurna, tapi

salah ke kalau saya mahukan Yang Sempurna?

kalau saya cuba, berusaha, kejar apa yang Dia suka, tinggal apa yang Dia tak suka,

salah ke kalau saya mahukan Yang Sempurna?

di dunia tiada yg sempurna, tapi di Sana nanti, saya tahu ada Yang Sempurna.

salah ke kalau saya mahukan Yang Sempurna? kalau tidak di sini, di sana nanti.

salah ke?

teringat post seorang insan ni, betapa obsesi dia kepada syurga itu melimpahruah, walau dia sedar, diri serba kekurangan. sangat terasa dengan post itu, sebab terasa diri berada dlm posisi yg sama (atau mungkin lebih teruk lagi). nak ke Dia yang sempurna tu terima saya yg banyak cacat cela, karat jahiliyah bertapuk-tapuk, hati macam masuk lumpur, iman rendah macam teras bumi paling dalam?

ooooit. tak baik buruk sangka dengan Dia.

Daripada Anas r.a, katanya : “ Aku mendengar Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda : Allah s.w.t telah berfirman : “ Wahai anak Adam ! Sesungguhnya selagimana kamu meminta dan berharap kepada-Ku, maka Aku akan mengampuni segala dosa yang telah kamu lakukan dan Aku tidak pedulikannya lagi. Wahai anak Adam ! Sekiranya dosamu setinggi langit, kemudian kamu memohon ampun kepada-Ku, nescaya Aku mengampuni dosamu. Wahai anak Adam ! Jika kamu datang kepadaKu dengan kesalahan sepadat isi bumi, kemudian kamu menemui-Ku di akhirat dalam keadaan kamu tidak menyekutukan-Ku dengan yang lain, nescaya Aku datang kepadamu dengan keampunan sepenuh bumi pula.” [ Hadis riwayat Tirmizi ].

makanya, tak salah pun kalau kita mahukan Yang Sempurna ^^

escape

2011-11-11T01:28:00.000-08:00

there's this hamster. that's always try to beat scofield in prison breaking. maybe even better than scofield, since the hamster doesnt make a tattoo of the blueprint of the prison on its fur. hohoho.
today, (for the 3rd time), it escaped again. tahu-tahu dah ada dalam bilik, jalan2, keluar masuk bawah almari baju, less than 2 metres away from me (at that time i was attending my laptop, when my eyes caught the glimpse of it running into the bottom of the spongebob-printed cupboard).

erk. escaped again.
the same hamster for the 3rd time, out of 11 hamsters.
i checked again the cage (it's actually a large aquarium that we use to place them). it's not opened. but just a small hole from the opening, with diameter less than 3 cm.
haih. lubang besar ni pun dia boleh escape.

looking at the inside of the cage/ aquarium, it's a mess. when was the last time we tidied it up? (blame the fortnightly exams + alasan lain yg direka2). hurm. memang patut pun hamster ni lari. ubah angin sikit compared to aquarium yg serabut tu.

hamster azizuddin

(dlm mode cuba memahami perasaan hamster): hurm kesian jugak. mesti la lari kalo umah dah sepah2, tuan tak tolong kemas. nasib baik makan still bagi. eh. itu pun skali sehari. eh. itu pun kalau tuan2 tak lupa. eyy rimas. serius nak keluar dari penjara ni.

orang lain tak nak keluar pun aku tak kesah. nak keluar jugak. mungkin dorang rasa selesa tinggal kat tempat kotor2 ni. but not me. tolooong sikit. kena keluar. cari tempat bersih sikit. kalau tak, nanti aku jugak yg sakit duduk tempat kotor2 ni.

(like a chant): escape! escape! escape! yeayyy~!

"Jika kamu menjauhi dosa-dosa besar di antara dosa-dosa yang dilarang kamu mengerjakannya, niscaya Kami hapus kesalahan-kesalahanmu (dosa-dosamu yang kecil) dan Kami masukkan kamu ke tempat yang mulia (surga)". An Nisaa: 31

“Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, jagalah diri kalian dan keluarga kalian dari api neraka yang bahan bakarnya adalah manusia dan batu, penjaganya malaikat-malaikat yang kasar, yang keras, yang tidak mendurhakai Allah terhadap apa yang diperintahkan-Nya kepada mereka dan selalu mengerjakan apa yang diperintahkan.” (At-Tahrim: 6)

we dont want to be eternally in the puddle of our own sins, our own jahiliyah. whenever we stick around it, it pulls us like no other gravity can, making us drown, making us used to it. the truth, we're dirty no matter how we look at it. when we know that we need to escape, we know that we should try it, no matter how many times it will take, no matter how many effort that we need to summoned.

p/s: hamster pun tahu nak lari dari tempat kotor. sebab fitrahnya, semua makhluk tak suka benda kotor.

pak polisi~!

2011-11-06T04:25:00.000-08:00

def: police, policeman.The civil force of a federal or local government, responsible for the prevention and detection of crime and the maintenance of public order.

cynical smile appeared when reading this

the situation is true. It's the reality we're having here, in jakarta. i guess this doesnt limit only to jakarta, but most of the places that i've been in indonesia, the situations are very much the same. every police station will have a tv, intended for the visitor's entertainments, not the police, as they'll too busy caught up in their 'supposed' works. It backfires; since there's not too many people are coming to the station, hence the officers are the one who watched it.

it happens not only in stations, but also the guard's posts in many neighbourhood. compared to malaysia, many of neighbourhoods here will have a guard post at the entrance of the neighbourhood. very much for the residents' safety. guards will take shifts, and in my neighbourhood alone, there are more than 4 pakcik guard rotating the shifts every day. many of the posts will have tv installed. sometimes not only the guards will watch, but countless homeless citizen, and others that can’t afford to buy a tv.

Football @ soccer is very much frenzied here, compared to malaysia. just imagine, if jakarta team (persija) has a match with other team, then even it's still in the afternoon, buses with supporters clad with orange jerseys (prange is the colour for this team) are everywhere, singing loudly the team's song, complete with drums, guitars and other things that will produce sound. sangat meriah~! and everyone in town will know that jakarta will have a match dat day. if the live supporters pun dah macam ni, of course there are countless more will watch via tv. seriously, every people in shops, stalls, guard posts will have their eyes glued to the tv. no wonder waktu malaysia vs sini punya team haritu kontroversi macam2. mungkin sampai tahap taasub.

guardpost dpan pintu masuk taman

usual sights bila jakarta ada match

and this will make their 'amanah' in vain.
we're not talking about ethics anymore.
ini soal amanah, tanggungjawab, where you're given salary because of it.
gaji butakah itu?
kadang2 orang gelak je bila cakap soal gaji buta. tapi itu duit yg kita tak sepatutnya dapat kalau kita tak buat kerja. maksud saya di sini bukannya kerja main2, tapi kerja betul2, sampai kita deserved for that even 1 cent.
satu pencemaran mata pulak rasanya bila tengok. sebab this will affect other people. example: when guards are watching tv, pencuri sume boleh masuk rumah orang.
bila polis tengok tv, nanti dah malas nak layan orang yg datang wat report, wat dengar tak dengar je. key points pada masalah org tu nanti terlepas pandang. sangat tak bagus. problems are not solved. even kad atm hilang pun amik masa lebih sejam utk taip/ tulis report. should be masa yg dorang tengok tv tu boleh pakai utk training taip esei banyak2 kat typewriter/ komputer.

tanggungjawab kena buat betul2, amanah yg orang bagi kena jaga. kita akan affect orang lain. one thing leads to another.
above all, kita yakin ke rezeki yg kita dapat tu, kita deserved utk peroleh?
kalau bukan bos/ cikgu/ lecturer kita tanya kat sini, nanti kat sana Tuan kita pulak akan tanya. haaa lagi takut kalau tak tau nak jawab apa waktu tu.

"Sesungguhnya solatku dan ibadatku, hidupku dan matiku, hanyalah untuk Allah Tuhan yang memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam. " - Al-An'am: 162

p/s: recheck diri sndri juga nih. tak boleh main2. kalau tak, rezeki yg Allah bagi kat saya skrg, saya taktau nak jawab apa kat akhirat nanti utk apa saya pakai sume rezeki yg allah bagi tu.

occupied.dot.

2011-11-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

sibuk fikir macam mana nak distract attention dari perkara2 yang tak perlu @ tak penting.

pening, macam mana nak concentrate.
tapi tahu, apa sebenarnya yang dikejar, apa sebenarnya yang dicari.

eh cik A.
kalau dah tahu apa yg dikejar, tahu apa yg dicari, kenapa pening-pening lagi?

eh cik B.
memangla tahu, tapi still tak boleh fokus.
sebabnya, terasa macam tak cukup kekuatan.
sebabnya, sendiri tahu, hati tu still ada masalah.

hurm cik A,
haha. terlintas dalam kepala cik B ni, "occupying one's mind begins with the heart. once the heart is rightfully set, then the rest will follow. including the mind."
bukan saja2 dalam kepala cik B ni ha yang cakap, tapi ada hadis nabi cakap camni.

hurm cik B,
cik A tahu dah pasal tu. lama dah tahu.
kene mohon kekuatan banyak2 nih.
"strength is with none but Allah".
tapi kan, rasa ada hikmah jugak allah bg ujian ni. at least ada mende tak baik yg Allah jauhkan cik A dari buat.
tak mengarut sangat compared to kalau takde ujian ni.
tapi tahu, tak boleh berlama-lama dalam ujian ni. kene settlekan cepat2. baru boleh maju.

above all, Allah akan uji kita dengan mende tu selagi kita belum settle ujian tu. ingat ye, cik A dan cik B.

malas

2011-10-31T04:16:00.000-07:00

ini monolog dalaman.

oiittt~!

jangan malas malas~!

tanggungjawab lagi banyak dari masa yg ada.

ingat tu~!

p/s: kalau nak rehat, tunggu bila sampai dah masuk syurga. haaa time tu lepak la puas2.
pp/s: erk. layak ke masuk syurga eh?
ppp/s: kalau rasa belum layak lagi, wat la kerja banyak-banyak, sebab nak masuk syurga tu kena dari redha/ rahmat Dia.

mode: drenched dgn hamasah dr ukhti yg baru balik dr Gaza ;)

inefficiency is costly

2011-10-22T03:37:00.000-07:00

went to the post office to send a card back home.
i've done dis early of the year also, and if i'm not mistaken, the cost was around 20 thousand rupiah, about rm7.00. this time, the cost for the stamps is Rp 10 ooo (around Rm3.50). i even called the head office of Pos Indonesia to ensure the cost, so that i will not fall into any of the 'corruption trap'.
for me, it's still expensive considering they're just normal-sized birthday cards, and yes, only from jakarta to malaysia. plus, it's just normal delivery. bukan pos express or registered mail.

comparing to many cards that we (my family) sent to my sister when she's studying in japan, the cost is only Rm1.00. seringgit!! bayar harga setem je.
ini sampai rm7 from jakarta to puchong~! apekah ini?
nak kata naik kapal terbang, narita- KL tu 8 hours. KL-jakarta 2 hours je.
hantar pakai tongkang pun cepat lagi jakarta-KL.
hurm.

sebab tak cukup kapal terbang kargo ke nak hantar ke KL sampai tpaksa tunggu turn? meaning, increasing time of service will increase the cost.
or tak cukup pekerja sampai perlu tingkatkan cost?
mungkin harga pos di malaysia sudah disubsidi atau apa sampai kos berkurang?
kalau time blaja econs IB dulu, banyak factor yg boleh increase cost. such as low supply (jumlah delivery service provider di indonesia yg sedikit) atau high demand (jumlah org yang nak pos2 kat indonesia sangat banyak sampai the provider dgn senang hati menaikkan harga service (and yes, the price-demand graph will naturally shift to the right), tak pun the cost to provide the service yg sangat mahal (harga minyak, harga pekerja, harga tol, harga segala2nya di indonesia yg mahal. blum kira kalau ada corruption lagi tuh. masuk poket siapa pulak le tu duit lebih2 tu? hurm2.) and yes, inefficiency will also increase the cost. kalau pekerja buat kerja lambat, makin banyak bil elektrik yg dipakai, makin banyak pekerja yg perlu digaji utk tampung pekerja2 yang tak efisyen ni, makin banyak pelanggan minta gantirugi sebab barang hilang/ lambat sampai/ rosak due to this inefficiency.
inefficiency sangat costly.

banyak orang akan geram, banyak plan will be dragged, banyak duit perlu ditanggung, banyak hak orang yang kita akan lambat tunaikan (or worst, tak tertunai), banyak hadaf (objektif) yang susah nak dicapai kalau kerja kita tidak efisyen, banyak expectations will not be met.
due to inefficiency.
reflect semula, adakah kita penyumbang kepada inefficiency suatu objektif/ program/ matlamat?
kalau ya, kena ubah cepat2 sebab kita melambatkan orang-orang yg berada dalamteam kita juga. kalau ya, kita lah yg sebenarnya bermasalah sampai hadaf susah nak capai. kalau ya, kita lah yg sebenarnya tanpa sedar menjadi fitnah (kekeacauan).

inefficiency is costly bukan dari segi duit je,
tapi masa, usaha, daya fikir, semangat, segala-galanya lah.
sayang bila yg lain sanggup berkorban macam- macam, tapi terbazir macam tu due to the inefficiency (ganjaran Allah lain cerita).

sekian.

p/s: hepi besday ayah~!

minggu ini dalam sejarah

2011-10-17T07:46:00.000-07:00

12.10.2011 (wed): demonstration at Malaysia's embassy, Jakarta Pusat. regarding the land/ border issue in kalimantan.

13.10.2011 (thrs): 6.1 richter scale earthquake in Bali.

14.10.2011 (fri): demonstration near our uni, because a village there will be evicted by the developer. we finished our exam around 10.30am, but still cant go home since we're instructed not to leave the campus. here's the news.

stuck in campus. alhamdulillah we finally can go home using alternative route (which is longer than the usual route)

Indonesia oh Indonesia.

tapi ini medan kami di sini.

strength is with none but Allah.

cheers :)

pijak kepala

2011-10-13T03:47:00.000-07:00

zZzzzZZZZzzzz.

0200 am

0300 am

0400 am.

alarm clock's screaming.
too hard to open the eyes.
too tired to lift the head.
tiba2.
erk. ada benda berbulu-bulu jalan- jalan atas muka saya.
APAKAH INI????
dalam kepala saya, saya cuma fikir lipas. tapi lipas mana ada bulu-bulu macam benda yg tengah pijak-pijak muka saya ni.
terus bangun. cepat- cepat tepis benda bulu-bulu yg dengan beraninya memijak-mijak muka. capai henfon. tekan2 bagi ada lampu sikit.
benda bulu- bulu tercampak atas bantal.
suluh henfon.
adehhh. rupa-rupanya anak hamster terlepas lagi dari sangkar.

pagi semalam pun terlepas jugak budak kecik sekor ni.

rupa anak hamster yg berani memijak muka saya adalah ala2 mcm ni

hari ni dah jalan-jalan sampai masuk bilik orang. siap pijak-pijak muka lagi.
tak tau nak kata geram ke, comel ke apa.
cepat-cepat cekup, masukkan balik dlm sangkar.
risau. sebab last week baru jadi kes ada kucing masuk umah, & berlaku pembunuhan beramai-ramai 5 ekor hamster. whoaaaaaaa O.O

ini joey. ini serial killer.

ada 6 bekas (sangkar + akuarium) hamster. joey masuk akuarium. n u can c there ada cubaan prison break dari Tam.

hari- hari dok tengok hamsters, sampai dah rasa common, tak seobses dulu. maybe sebab dah terbiasa sangat.
tapi, kalau hilang / mati, still akan sedih, regret, blame diri sendiri atau segala macamla lagi. meratapi pemergian la kununnya.
haa tu la. time ada banyak2 dulu, tak nak jaga elok- elok.
bila dah hilang, bila dah bosan tak tau nak main apa, baru nyesal.
taking things for granted.
itu sangat tak bagus.

check balik, islam kita macam tu juga tak?
tarbiyah kita macam tu tak?
bila dah lahir free2 dalam keluarga islam, belajar PAI kat sekolah, masuk sekolah agama rakyat, program tarbiyah full every week, usrah konsisten every week, mad'u ramai nakkan Islam, buku berlambak2 boleh dirujuk, try fikir sekejap.

ini Rutin atau hati saya memang di sini?
saya datang progrm sekadar datang je ke?
saya betul2 set niat saya tak before dtg? apa hadaf saya datang?
kalau progrm2 ni dah takde, saya masih tsabat atau tak?
dzatiyah dakwiyah saya boleh berjalan ke tak?
jangan sampai nanti dah hilang semua ni, baru rasa kosong. rasa menyesal.
padahal dulu, sendiri yang tak kisah. jadi rutin sampai bosan, sampai tawar.
kene ingat. nanti kat akhirat, kita dihisab sorang-sorang. bukan dengan geng, bukan dengan ahli Rumah atau apa2 lah.

sebab, tanggungjawab ini terletak atas bahu Setiap dari kita.

above all, apa ghayah awak?

aku dan printer

2011-10-04T04:13:00.000-07:00

dulu saya sebahagian dari yg mempunyai saham ke atas printer umah kami.
sekarang printer tu dah rosak.
housemates beli printer baru.saya tak join dah.
makanya, saya harus print di tempat lain.
saya ok je. rasa cam orang busy pulak bila perlu ke kedai utk print. hoho.

makanya, hari ni saya ke kedai fotokopi sebelah kampus untuk print.
PBL selesai jam 3.30. untuk modul ini, saya ditugaskan sbg s/u group utk buat report kelompok pula. makanya, lepas 3.30 tadi, saya ke library utk pakai komputer, betul2kan apa yg patut, kemudian straight bergerak ke kedai fotokopi sebelah kampus utk print.

adik operator (saya panggil adik sebab dia panggil saya kakak) yg uruskan bab print2 ni nampak muda betul. hurm tak pernah nampak sebelum2 ni. mungkin pekerja baru.
perbualan kami seterusnya berlangsung dalam bahasa indonesia yg benar.
tunggu punya tunggu, saya terperasan sesuatu.
adik ni asyik mengomel je.
klik button 'computer' dia ngomel.
taip page yg nak diprint dia ngomel.
klik button 'print' dia ngomel lagi.
pulak tu, ada beberapa page yg saya tak tahu kenapa, bila open kat komputer kdai tu, alignment dia dah lari. "isy, ni kene betulkan ni. nak anta kat lecturer lagi." saya cakap sorang2 dalam hati. saya minta adik tu betulkan. dia ngomel lagi.
adik ni jenguk2 kaunter, ada pelanggan yg bermasalah di situ. adik ngomel lagi. sampai terkeluar perkataan2 yg tak seharusnya diungkapkn dan langsung tak sedap utk didengar sebagai seorang Islam yg ikut sunnah nabi.
jam dah tunjuk kul 4 lebih. biasanya tak lama pun nak print. ini tak boleh jadi.
"Mehla sini saya betulkan sendiri. bak keyboard tu."
haaa. bila dah terkeluar bahasa melayu, itu tandanya kesabaran saya dah terbang pegi mana tah. adik tu terkejut. tapi dia bagi gak keyboard tu kat saya n bergerak ke kaunter utk selesaikan pelanggan lain yg bermasalah tu.

tiba2 ada sorang kakak operator lain yg saya familiar (sebab dah lama kerja kat situ.saya rasa umur dia x jauh beza pun dari saya) datang kat saya, n tolong saya betulkan apa2 yg patut pada report saya tu.
sejukkk hati saya.
kemudian datang pelanggan lain (studnt uni saya juga) duduk sebelah saya. n adik tadi yg attend studnt lain tu. tapi hal yg sama gak berlaku.
adik tu klik satu dia ngomel. klik lagi dia ngomel.
hurmm. macam mana ni.
bermasam muka depan pelanggan. dia x dapat briefing ke sebelum dia kerja utk berwajah ceria depan customer? etiquette tu tahuu.
kita pun jadi tak sedap hati, takut2 kalau punca ngomelan tu adalah dari kita sendiri.
kan dah tak comel tuuu.
terasa macam nak complain/ tulis kat peti cadangan je. serius. tapi saya tak nampak kelibat mana2 peti cadangan di kedai tu.

haritu daurah.
kami cerita tentang qudwah hasanah.
kalau sape yg kenal saya betul2, kadang2 ada sisa2 baran yg tertinggal pd saya (yes.itu adalah jahiliyyah yg patut saya tinggal lama dah).
kalau commute naik bas/ tren sorang2, kadang2 saya perasan yg saya akan terbuat muka berkerut, which people will assume dat saya tgh marah waktu tu.
selalu terfikir. bila nabi jalan2 gi pasar, kat padang pasir, jumpa orang sana sini, mesti nabi tak pernah buat muka kerut2 kan. instead, nabi senyum seindah suria, sampai sejuuuk hati semua orang. yg penat jadi semangat balik. yg sakit rasa sihat balik. nabi jaga hati para sahabat. nabi consider situation yg sahabat hadapi. itu sangatla comel.
takde kot nabi ngomel2 atas mende2 yg kecik.

hurm.

saya nak kurangkan mengomel.
macam mana saya tak sedap dengar ngomelan adik printer tadi tu,
macam tu jugakla kawan2 saya akan rasa camtu kalau saya ngomel2.
bingit telinga den nak dengar.

wallahu a'lam.
salam alaik :)

shivers

2011-10-03T09:14:00.001-07:00

sangat takut

bila dakwah tidak berkembang atas sebab

iman yang tak terjaga,

diri yg memanjang je futurnya,

niat yg bengkang- bengkok.

tak nak zalimi sesiapa.

tak nak sesiapa dirugikan.

tak nak Islam tu terhenti setakat ini sahaja.

sebab,

itu akan jadi dosa saya.

Allah, tolong bagi kami kekuatan, ilham, kesabaran, ketenangan.

p/s: sori kalo ada yg allergic dgn pkataan Dakwah ni. ini bukan post utk anda baca nampaknye kalau begitu.

mode: kepala pusing.

you keep saying people were born as a white cloth/ paper

2011-07-30T01:26:00.000-07:00

the white paper has only 1 life.
you can't erase things on it.
if you write on it with a careless attitude and fail, that's the end of that piece of paper.
so treat that piece of paper seriously.
it's make it or break it.
you put it all on the paper's life.

- calligrapher, Shoushuu.

He will say: "What number of years did you stay on earth. They will say: "We stayed a day or part of a day. Ask of those who enumerate. He will say: "You stayed not but a little..if only you had known (al-mukminun: 112-114)

There's always a limit of one's life

.

He'll listen to you

2011-07-24T10:06:00.000-07:00

He'll listen to you

always.

He's listening you

always.

there are days when things are not going our way, things being bad as bad as it can be, things are messing up with our-already-messedup mind, things just making us feeling low.

through those time,

there's always small voices in our hearts, saying,
"How i wish things will turn up to be like this or like this or like this,"
"How i wish things are easier, bla bla bla"

there's so many hopes and dreams flowing inside our selves,
sometimes they keep streaming in our head unconsciously,
without us telling them in our prayers.
but sometimes we just couldnt voice it out loud because they're sometimes looked absurd, not realistic.

tapi,

Allah Maha Mendengar.

He'll listen to you, to your prayer, to your wishes.

He never misses even a heartbeat.

If you strongly pray for a thing, He'll grant it, one way or the other.

trust Him,

lay your hopes in Him.

then you'll find peace in your heart.

because,

He'll always listen to you,

like no one other.

kadang- kadang, terharu sangat sampai mata berkaca-kaca bila tersedar,
'rupanya Allah dengar je apa yg aku mintak selama ni.'
eventhough tak tadah tangan utk doa betul- betul for that particular thing.

teruknya saya.

lupa kat Ilah, Rabb, Malik saya sendiri.

doa tu senjata mukmin. ingat tu.

dan yakin, Allah sentiasa dengarkan kita :)

be a pro.

2011-07-05T05:50:00.000-07:00

Professional (adj)

def:

Excellent manual/practical and literary skills in relation to profession
A high standard of professional ethics, behavior and work activities while carrying out one's profession. Often the professional is required to put the interest of the client ahead of his own interests.
Reasonable work morale and motivation. Having interest and desire to do a job well as holding positive attitude towards the profession are important elements in attaining a high level of professionalism.

kenapa saya tulis pasal professional?

maybe many might narrow this down only in terms of career ie; doctors, engineers, lawyers, etc.

since we should expand our paradigm much, please see this in terms of our purpose of life.

a professional dai'e will never put his own interest first. they will think of anything, everything, to sacrifice (tadhiyah) whatever they can, because they know, He'll be the one who'll reward them.
a professional dai'e will put all of their effort to reach the aim, with high spirit and motivation. they dont want to be weak-hearted (read: futur) because they know, other's are running/ struggling/ sacrifing to reach His redha.
they will not be affected by what others said, because of their strong will and high spirit (read: himmah aliyah).

“Maka, berikanlah peringatan (Wahai Muhammad, kepada manusia, dan janganlah berdukacita kiranya ada yang menolaknya), kerana sesungguhnya engkau hanyalah pemberi ingatan. Bukanlah engkau seorang yang berkuasa memaksa mereka (menerima ajaran Islam yang engkau sampaikan itu). Akan tetapi, sesiapa yang berpaling (dari kebenaran) serta kufur ingkar... Maka Allah akan menyeksanya dengan azab seksa yang sebesar-besarnya.” (Surah Al-Ghasyiyah : 21-24)

be a pro.

not a mere muslim.

it's never lame.

2011-06-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

it's never lame to be a reader.

The best of a book is not the thought which it contains, but the thought which it suggests; just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones but in the echoes of our hearts. ~Oliver Wendell Holme

editting profile in facebook, multiply, twitter or whatsoever social network u're joining, some might be troubled to fill in the 'interest' or 'hobby' column. some just trying hard to think what's 'in' to be put in there, so that people viewing their profile will be awed by their up-to-date self. they struggle hard not to put 'reading' as their hobby or interest, so that people will not find them boring, lame, or simply a nerd.

reading is never be in their dictionary.

but,

we're simply not human if we dont read.

everything in this life has a purpose.
then i ask you, what is your purpose of reading?
if it's just for the sake of yourself, then little by little you'll be tired of it.
but if you know that you're reading to enbalm your heart, while enbalming other's heart too, then you'll find enjoyment in it.

"Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live."
— Gustave Flaubert

it's never lame, because you know that you have a bigger purpose of doing it.
if your heart, your mind are dry, what are you going to share with others?
dont talk nonsense, because 'thoughts are faster than the light' as the saying goes.
people are smarter nowadays, so in order to grab their attention to share what's your heart feels, what's your fikrah says is by being smarter yourself.

i dont know bout you, but for me, it's really crucial.

widen your tsaqah al-fiqr, be a flowing river. never the stagnant one because stagnant water will stinks as day goes by.

Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists), Has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood). Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous, Who has taught (the writing) by the pen [the first person to write was Prophet Idrees (Enoch)], Has taught man that which he knew not. (al-alaq:1-5).

sickness parameter

2011-05-17T09:37:00.000-07:00

we know we're sick when we woke up at 2am after only 3 hours sleep only to find out that we're going to throw up the lunch we ate at the cafe.

we know we're sick when every hour after that, we still woke up again and again, only to throw up everything that's inside our gastrointestinal tract.

we know we're sick when finally, the yellowish green liquid is vomitted, drained into the sink.

we know we need to seek the doctor when we dont know what else to do, scary thoughts running into our head as if we might die the next time we throw up, we dont know what's the right medication to take because we're too afraid of the side effects like what we learnt in pharmacology classes. we just know that we need to seek the doctor. immediately.

i wonder if our Iman's parameter is just like that.

if the parameter is so obvious, screaming to you that now you're in a low state of Iman, giving you external signals as blinding as the sunlight, you must be hurriedly taking your wudhu', perform a prayer or something, reciting the Quran verses or crying and crying, regretting your wrong doings day and night.

unfortunately, the reality isnt like that.

some might just too carried away, their Iman is being chronically ill day by day. it's not acute, it's just chronic. the signs are there, the simptoms are there, but maybe too vague for the blind hearts to see.

maybe that's the reason why we should do medical checkups once in a while.

that's the reason why we should muhasabah more and more than we're doing physical examinations.

Have they not travelled through the land, and have they hearts wherewith to understand and ears wherewith to hear? Verily, it is not the eyes that grow blind, but it is the hearts which are in the chest that grow blind. (QS: al- Hajj:46)

p/s: still in the state of healing though. jazakillahu khairan katseera to housemates, Tigers, sisters n sesapa je la. Allah je yg boleh balas budi baik + doa kalian :)

rubik's philosophy.

2011-05-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

it's the Rubik's cube.

invented by Erno Rubik, born Hungarian, a sculptor.

sampai sekarang saya tak tahu nak solve kan kotak rubik ni.
Before, i'm amazed by watching people solving it. seriously my utter respect goes to them. Tabik sangat2. but then, many manyyy people around me can solve it. Later i discovered that there's a technique solving it. Laa... kalau belajar, memangla boleh.

btw, what i wrote in this only valid for those yang berjaya solvekan cube ni by their own mind & susah-payah, bukannya utk orang2 yang berjaya sebab hafal step2 nak solvekan je. I learned it tak sampai halfway pun. then saya taknak dah. this is not my type of game. saya yakin kalau saya belajar sampai habis, mesti saya pun boleh solve kan macam org lain gak (trying to be optimist).

i watched something. discussing about the cube (bukan cube dalam transformers tu.ini Rubik's). The very thing that makes the cube is different from others is how you're going to solve it. there's 6 surfaces, and each move you make will affect others. while you might succeed in clearing a line or a surface, you have to bear in mind that the others might be randomly colourful. you solved one part, but the others are not. kalau nak solvekan semua sekali betul2, we have to consider the others, taking steps that will also affect the others positively. simultaneous changes in many parts are required, and the changes are on going, until all of the surfaces are solved. until your aim are reached.

kadang-kadang kita dah rasa selesa dengan satu- satu keadaan tu, padahal itu mungkin bukan yang terbaik untuk kita. sedikit perubahan pada zon selesa itu perlu, supaya kita akan lebih dekat dengan matlamat kita. perubahan itu mungkin akan affect orang- orang yang berada di sekeliling kita, tapi moga- moga perubahan itu kepada yg lebih baik. bila dah selesa kembali, berubah lagi untuk yang lebih baik. selesa lagi, berubah lagi. selesa lagi, berubah lagi. the cycle will goes on, until matlamat kita yg sebenar tercapai. eh. bukan cycle sebenarnya, tapi saya rasa lebih menyerupai sebuah tangga. sampai satu stage, ada perubahan yang diperlukan. kemudian naik lagi tangga baru, dan kita makin mendekati matlamat kita.

matlamat apa?

tepuk dada, tanya iman.

wait till you're older

2011-04-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

just came back from a talk, more to a sharing i think, from a clinical student, already finished her studies, ready to be back for good, entitled 'muslim doctor'.
while the 1st part a fortnight ago wasnt touch deeply about the life as a clinical student (here we call it co-as as in coassisstant of a doc), this second part was really helpful and give us quite images of the life as a clinical student. i'm really grateful to be given the chance by Him to be there to listen :)

i respect her because she has a way to care for her patients, her own stand to talk to others when she knows things arent right, in terms of hospital's rules, ethics, and yes, the syariat. The hard truth is that more and more people today started to give a sly look on doctors or other medical practicers. and who's there to be blamed? they temselves la. because of what? maybe some of the patients are just overreacting, which pushed them to end up in a court, suing for malpractices, but still, many of the sly looks received because of the attitude of doctors themselves. Since am a student of medicine myself, many times i went to see the doctor, and many times also i spoke to myself 'i dont want to be like this doctor.' sorry to say, they dont gain my respect. mungkin ape la sangat utk dapat respect dari saya, but still, i'm also a part of the society, which seek treatment from the same doctors also.
Listening more and more of the sharing, I feel like i cant patiently wait to be a doctor, or at least a clinical years student, so that I could be the 'walking ideal doctor' that the society wanna see.
or so i thought.

to think of it again, it's still isnt my time to be one.
biarla seyakin mana pun saya, it still isnt my time yet.
kenapa uni susah2 buat medical course sampai 5 or 6 tahun kalo dia tahu students boleh jadi doctor yg mantap by only 2 or 3 years. mesti ada reason/ things yg dorang nak develope kat students in that period of course.
pernah dengar cerita rama- rama yg tak sabar nak keluar kepompong utk terbang padahal dia blum cukup matang lagi?
last2 rama2 tu terbang kejap je, then jatuh sbb metamorphosis dia actually still blum complete.

'Wait till you're older'
have u seen this movie?
it's cantonese, i watched it years back.
about a boy, who cant wait to b an adult.
his wish granted, but he quickly become older and older day by day, until at one point, he's older than his own dad. it's saddening because he cant turn back the time.

apa yg saya nak cakap kat sini is that,
everything has its own hikmah/ lesson. you cant skip a stage of your life, but you have to undergo all of it, accordingly. appreciate one that you're in now, take as many lessons as you can, then move ahead to the next level with them.
every mark you left is a part of your journey, and makes up who you are today, or in the future.

p/s: cant wait for part 3 comes. hope there'll b more sniors willing to share :)

caterpillars and optimism

2011-04-15T09:43:00.000-07:00

mak called me.

a news about caterpillars attack that hit west jakarta (my residence) was published in BH yesterday (14th april). thousands of caterpillars~! i never knew bout that, though the site was not more than 1km from my house. still, alhamdulillah i didnt found any caterpillars around my house (maybe we're not eco-friendly enough since we dont plant any trees. huhuhu~).

at the time mak called, few friends were at my house. I told them the funny reason of my mom's calling. Some were shocked also, some laughed. "Cerita ulat bulu kat jakarta pun nak masuk paper kat mlysia :p" and some other funny remarks from them.

then another asked, with an innocent face,
" bukan ulat bulu ke yg akan jadi rama- rama nanti?"
some answered no, some other said yes. me, i'll go for a yes.
then i dont know how, but we just dropped the subject.

thinking bout my friend's question again and again, i'm amazed at how optimist she was. she doesnt look at the problem right now, but she's already visualised the future. how the caterpillar will becomes a butterfly one day. while everyone endlessly was too caught talking bout the caterpillars, she's already talking about the butterflies. i wonder how beautiful the world is in front of her eyes :)

i believe, (by sunnatullah) that the caterpillar will become a butterfly one day. since incik google stated that a caterpillar's metamorphosis to a butterfly only takes plus minus a fortnight, i seriously looking forward for the next few weeks to see butterflies sway gracefully around my neighbourhood :)

you changed how i view the problem.

and makes me anticipate more and more of beautiful days ahead.

jazakillahu khair :)

p/s: i once asked a classmate of mine, why she loves butterfly so much. she answered,"they simbolizes freedom, but also fragility." i couldnt agree more with that insight :)

somniloquy

2011-04-04T02:05:00.000-07:00

def: sleeptalking.

"Hang mimpi apa malam tadi?"

"ehhh? tak tau."

"malam tadi hang cakap2."

(monolog dalaman) "erk. serius tak ingat apa2. Tak pernah2 pulak orang cakap aku ngigau malam2".

******

Somniloquy (sleeptalking).

it may be caused by anxiety, stress, fever, or mental health ilness.

stress, anxiety, mental health ilness.

teruk sangat ke belajar sampai stress sangat?
banyak sangat ke bekerja sampai kepala serabut?
tak cukup sangat ke masa sampai tak sempat nak straighten up your thoughts?

above all, these are all symptoms je.
the real working diagnosis?
your level of Iman right now.

saya taknak tanya apa khabar jasad awak sekarang sebab physically semua org memang worn out bila bertubi-tubi exam datang.
tapi,
apa khabar iman awak sekarang?

sebab, iman manifested on your health, emotion, mental health.

biarla sibuk mana pun kita, tapi kalau kita jaga hubungan kita dengan Allah, mesti tenang je.

our only and our best salvation is Him.

makanya,

apa khabar mutabaah amal awak minggu ni?

.

Remember, remember......

2011-03-21T01:14:00.000-07:00

japan.

kesian sangat.

sendai. dah la winter. tsunami pulak tu. gempa tak habis2. radiation leak lagi.

haritu baru berkesempatan tengok video live masa gempa di tokyo tu tengah berlaku. saya sedang cerita tentang gempa, ya. bukan tsunami. sorang ni cari mak dia kat dalam rumah. "Okaasan~! Okaasan~! daijobu?"
di office, pekerja- pekerja semua cakap, "Kowaaii~~ Kowaii~~! (takut~~ takut~~) dalam keadaan meja tengah bergegar, fail- fail di rak jatuh berselerakan. lampu macam nak tercabut. boleh terasa kecuakan mereka, sampai tah camna boleh menangis.

masa tengok video live tsunami pulak, boleh nampak kereta2 buat U-turn bila nampak air dah makin dekat, macam nak telan dorang. ada yang sempat u-turn dan balik ke jalan besar, ada yang hanyut. terbayang kat kepala ni imej dorang tgh ketakutan dalam kereta, nampak air menderu- deru datang. tak tahu nak lari mana lagi. entah macam mana, boleh terasa kecuakan mereka, sampai menangis lagi.

eheh.

kadang-kadang kita sibuk dengan isu yang datang pergi macam earthquake dan tsunami ni. tapi, kita jangan lupa isu on-going yang tak pernah padam- padam, kisah saudara- saudara kita di Palestin, revolusi Islam di Mesir, Libya, Tunisia.
Ini cerita kita.
Siapa kita?
Muslim.

saya tekankan di sini, bukannya saya nak kata tak boleh bersimpati untuk mereka yang berada di bumi sakura tu. bukan itu niat saya. atas dasar perikemanusiaan yang Islam ajarkan, atas dasar umat islam yang berada di jepun, memang wajar kita bersimpati.
saya cuma nak kata,
kita jangan pernah lupa dengan saudara- saudara kita yang dah berpuluh- puluh tahun berjuang di bumi Anbiya' sana tu.
berita tentang mereka dalam media seakan dilupakan, dibenamkan buat sementara waktu orang tengah kecoh2 pasal tsunami ni.
Itu media.

Takkan dalam kepala umat Islam sendiri pun nak dilupakan jugak~?

tepuk dada, tanya iman.

copilot

2011-03-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

def: the second or relief pilot of an aircraft.

haritu cuti. balik malaysia. berbekalkan lesen yg bakal mati tak lama lagi, saya memandu dengan gembiranya.

saya ada seorang copilot. nama dia azizuddin.
dia suka duduk di kerusi penumpang, sebelah pemandu. niat dia adalah mahu mengawal siaran2 radio yang diputarkan. biarlah dia.
tapi bagi saya, fungsi azizuddin ini sangat2 berguna.
haritu saya masih trauma sebab pagi tu saya lihat dua eksiden yang berlaku depan mata saya. mangsa masih berlumuran darah, mungkin eksidennya kurang dari 30 minit yang lalu. satu lagi eksiden, sudah ditutup dengan kain putih.dua2 kejadian berlaku kurang 20km dari rumah saya. tak lama kemudian di radio mengatakan mangsa pertama tadi sudah disahkan meninggal dunia. malam itu saya disuruh untuk memandu mengambil azizuddin dari tusyen.saya masih trauma dgn apa yang saya lihat pagi tadi. dan emosi saya sedang tidak stabil tika saya disuruh memandu. hujan. wiper bising. pening lepas makan ubat. mengantuk. sangat tidak kondusif untuk memandu. bila azizuddin masuk je dalam kereta dan duduk di kerusi penumpang, emosi saya terhambur, sampai dia senyap tidak berkata apa2 hingga tiba di rumah. terima kasih kerana memahami dengan tidak berkata apa-apa :)
hari yang lain, di lebuhraya Plus, saya diminta mengganti pemandu yg sedang mengantuk. memandu Perdana di lebuhraya, cuaca mendung. elok sangatla tu. tapi, azizuddin berada di kerusi penumpang. dia cerita macam2, buat saya lega walaupun pertama kali memandu Perdana di lebuhraya dengan speed tak pernah kurang dari 100km/j sebab nak cepat sampai rumah.

dan banyak lagi episod azizuddin menjadi copilot saya.

mula2, saya tak heran pun dia asyik duduk sebelah saya, sebab saya tahu dia cuma nak mengawal radio.

tapi bila fikir2 balik, saya bersyukur dia ada di situ.

Allah letak azizuddin di situ, ada fungsinya.

dia cool bila saya tengah emo, dia banyak cakap bila saya tengah risau atau mengantuk. tapi above all, presence dia di situ yang menenangkan saya. dia Harun saya tika itu.

ingat kisah Musa dan Harun? (tak ingat pergi cari tahu cepat2)

Harun diherdik Musa tatkala kaum mereka menyembah sapi, tapi Harun itulah saudara/ teman yang Allah kurniakan buat Musa tatkala Musa berdoa dek hilang keyakinan karena ketidakfasihan lidahnya, kekerasan perilakunya.
Harunlah yang menjadi penyejuk, pendamai, pembantu, pendukung Musa.
Harunlah yang berdiri bersama menentang Firaun, bersama menahan sabar dengan kerenah Bani Israel.

saya cuma nak kata,

kita tidak akan mampu berdiri sendiri di jalan Ini.

sahabat, teman, rakan, saudara.

kadangkala kita pandang enteng mereka2 ni, tapi kita terlupa yang tanpa mereka, kita tidak akan bergerak seperti mana hari ini.
mungkin mereka pernah buat itu atau ini terhadap kita, sampai kalau boleh, biar mereka itu lupus dari ingatan sampai bila-bila. ada pula yang memang kita sayang, hargai, sampai kalau boleh mahu dia berada di depan mata tidak lari dari kita selama-lamanya.
biarlah macam mana pun insan yang pernah awak temui itu, sungguh, pada mereka, ada tarbiyah yang Dia mahu tunjukkan pada awak. biar pahit macam kopi takde gula, biar manis macam oreo boikot, tapi itulah tarbiyah yang Dia mahu awak lalui.

appreciate every being that you meet.

live no regret.

二つの都市の物語

2011-03-03T00:24:00.000-08:00

a tale of two cities.

One is a diamond, another is gold.

I’ve wanted to write about this since my last flight to Malaysia, last aidilfitri celebration. Then last night it came back to me, shortly after takeoff from Soekarno Hatta International Airport in Cengkareng, a neighbouring town of Jakarta. From above in the night sky, the land below seems full of diamonds, scattered on the ground.

Shortly before touchdown at KLIA, the land below is full of gold chains, namely the neon lights from the street lamps. It gave out an image of a well-planned city, systematic roads and housing complexes. But at Cengkareng, the lights came from people’s houses below. The white argon-filled lamps (lampu kalimantang in Bahasa). The diamonds that can be seen from above are scattered (you can tell that it’s not from the lampposts), waiting to be picked up. It’s glittering, and they are so many, countless of them. It doesn’t give an image of a structured or well-planned city. Instead, a crowded and overgrowing population. But that’s what makes the land below seems so beautiful. Well, I could say that it’s more beautiful than Putrajaya seen from above.

Diamond and gold, of course it’s an easy victory for diamond.

But that’s not what matters. It’s where the heart belongs that’s matter.

In other words, I just feel glad to be at the gold filled land, compared to the diamond. My heart is there, and that’s what makes me feel glad. so the saying is right. Hujan batu di negeri sendiri, hujan emas di negeri orang, lebih baik hujan batu di negeri sendiri.

Have you ever been to a place, event, occasion, meeting, circle (whatever circle that you may think of) that’s held in a beautiful 5 star venue, filled with great people, attended by people you respect or admire most, but your heart isn’t just there? Biarlah secantik mana pun tempat tu, sehebat mana pun individu- individu yang ada kat dalam circle tu, betapa unite nya awak semua, but if your heart isn’t there at that time, semua tu jadi pointless. Niat yang benar tu datang bila hati kita dah betul- betul ready untuk berada di tempat tu. Kadang- kadang jasad ada kat situ, tapi ruh melayang ke mana tah. In the end, nota je penuh, tapi bila tanya balik, tak ingat satu apa pun. Sebab apa? Sebab fikrah tu datang bila kita memahami dengan hati. Bukan dengan kepala je.

Hadirkan hati untuk ditarbiyah.

The rest will follow.

sorry = the hardest word?

2011-02-08T22:18:00.000-08:00

then Thank You is the second.

while some might seem so kind, sincere, nice towards others, but it is 'thank you' that's hard for them to say when others are kind, sincere and nice towards them.

while others appreciate your doings, saying countless thank you to you, wont you do the same towards others?
some choose who they want to say it to.
but that's not good enough.
because in our daily life, there's many more people that we encounter each and every day.
be it the guards in your neighbourhood, the shopkeeper, lecturers, bus conductors and even taxi drivers.

wont you at least say thank you to them?
for example, the taxi driver.
though he might be mad while driving because of the traffic, dont give you enough change, dont greet you when you entered the car, but at least he makes you arrived at your destination, safe and sound.
wont you at least say thank you to him?

Lecturers.
though they seem that they didnt care much whether you understand their lessons or not, seems like they're suycking your money by asking you to pay for many things, discriminate between citizenship etc, but inside, they still wanna teach you, rushing from other university to your uni just to spend 100 minutes to teach you everytime.
dont whine. wont you at least say thank you to them?

tolongla.
saya sangat2 ingat apa yang seorang sister ni share waktu jumpa kat program hari tu.
she studied in UK, already back for good. akak ni compare, betapa kat negara2 yang tidak meletakkan Islam sebagai agama rasmi itu lebih bersikap islami dari orang2 yg berada di so-called negara islam ni. bila dia keluar every morning, even pakcik yg sapu sampah kat tepi jalan pun greet dia good morning, regardless of her hijab, citizenship or whatever barrier you might think of. everyday, people talk nicely, greet each other. bila balik ngr sendiri, heh. macam tak seronok pun.
me myself was amazed when i went to japan few years back. serius tak nak balik :(
sebab apa? sebab suasana yg mana ada orang2 yang bersikap dengan apa yg Islam ajarkan tu memang sangat comel & indah. no other words to describe the feeling.

amal islami itu bukan antara kita2 je. tapi kita dengan orang lain pun.
sebab islam itu buat semua bangsa manusia. bukan umat islam je.

dot.

life = crossing roads

2011-01-27T01:21:00.000-08:00

our life is like crossing a road.

we know that we have to cross the road to reach the other side.

be it by bridge, be it by zebra crossing, be it by flyover, we have to cross the road be it one way or the other.

when we turn our head away from the path that we want to take, we might miss the chance to cross the road in a split second. when the chance comes, we need to quickly cross the road. if not, when it passed you by without you grabbing it, you will be left standing alone, at the same spot where you are standing, without moving an inch forward.
or worst, when you miscalculate it, you will be hit and this will affect you throughout your whole life.
be it physically, or mentally.

life is like crossing a road.

look around you.
search for the chance.
cross it quickly.
because you dont want to be the one who's left behind.
dont wait for too long
because you never know when the next chance will comes to you.

“Jika datang kepada kalian petunjuk dari-Ku, maka barangsiapa yang mengikuti petunjuk-Ku, ia tidak akan sesat dan tidak akan celaka. Barangsiapa yang berpaling dari peringatan-Ku, maka sesungguhnya baginya penghidupan yang sempit, dan Kami akan menghimpunkannya pada hari kiamat dalam keadaan buta". (QS. Thaha:123-124).

fastabiqul khairat.
never hesitate.

keep holding on

2011-01-18T09:57:00.000-08:00

The first time i heard this song was when i was in kmb, early of my second semester.
that time, this song was just another song.
now it isnt. when this time of time comes, this song keeps playing in my head.
and this is how it goes.

Sabarlah wahai saudaraku
Tuk menggapai cita
Jalan yang kau tempuh sangat panjang
Tak sekedar bongkah batu karang

Yakinlah wahai saudaraku
Kemenangan kan menjelang
Walau tak kita hadapi masanya
Tetaplah al-Haq pasti menang

Tanam di hati benih iman sejati
Berpadu dengan jiwa Rabbani
Tempa jasadmu jadi pahlawan sejati
Tuk tegakkan kalimat Ilahi

Pancang tekadmu jangan mudah mengeluh
Pastikan azzam-mu semakin meninggi
Kejayaan Islam bukanlah sekedar mimpi
Namun janji Allah yang Haq dan pasti.

kuat, kuat, kuat~~~!

bila tersungkur, sila bangun.

bila sedih, nangis takpe, tapi jangan lama2.

Allah kan tetap ada di sisi kita :)

H.A.M.K.A.

2011-01-11T10:18:00.000-08:00

harinya aku menjadi khalifah Allah.

(nak katanya, bukan hari tu baru tersedar yg memang dicipta sebagai khalifah Allah, tapi x jumpa words yg lagi best to fill the acronym. hihi).

jazakillah buat semua.

thanks for the ukhuwwah

thanks for the memories

thanks for the sharing of hearts

moga ketemu lagi in the next hamka @ hammuka (bak kata ustaz).

p/s: saye berjaya bertemu tiger dr Oz. jazakillah sgt2 sebab datang, sekaligus menceriakan hari2 saya yg mendatang jua insyaallah :)

unity

2011-01-01T07:41:00.000-08:00

though one stands alone, the roots are many.

On the surface, we may see that the tree is standing tall, as if it’s its own strength, no other factor. But a thinker knows that the many roots down below, tightly grabbing the earth, frantically searching for water is the tree’s source of strength. Neither the trunk, nor the sticks. Though one might not see the roots from the surface, the tree itself knows that the many of the roots is the one who supports him.
No man is an island.
No one can work alone without others’ support, be it a human or not.

Above all, it's Him that grant us the strength.
It's never your own strength alone that keeps you moving forward.
Please remember that.

tidak cukup hanya membela diri.

2010-12-27T03:52:00.000-08:00

jihad fisabilillah kita bukanlah satu jihad untuk membela diri (defensive war).

sebaliknya, jihad seorang muslim yang mempunyai kefahaman deen itu adalah jihad untuk pembebasan seluruh bangsa manusia daripada penghambaan kepada makhluk.

jihad kita adalah untuk menegakkan penghambaan manusia hanya kepada Allah semata.

menegakkan kerajaan Allah di bumi ini.

sekiranya kita meletakkan matlamat jihad kita adalah hanya untuk mempertahankan tanah air, seolah- olah kita meletakkan tanah air itu yang utama, bukannya manhaj Islam itu.

melainkan,
jika tanah air kita adalah satu kerajaan Islam yang harus dipertahankan bagi menyebarluaskan agama Ini.

maalim fit thariq,sq

forever 21

2010-12-13T01:12:00.000-08:00

semangat pemuda tak sama dengan semangat kaum tua.

tenaga yang ada pada rijal yang berumur 21 tahun tidak sama dengan yang berusia 50 tahun.

masalah yang dihadapi individu yang berusia 21 tahun tidak begitu banyak dibanding dengan mereka yang lebih makan garam.

akal yang berusia 21 tahun lebih tajam dari yang telah pikun dek usia.

kelapangan waktu bagi yang berusia 21 tahun lebih banyak berbanding yang sudah bekerja, berkeluarga, ber-segala-galanya.

makanya,

tiada alasan untuk yang berusia 21 tahun ini untuk berpatah ke belakang, futur, lemah, tiada semangat, malas apabila berjuang di jalan ini.

semangat yang ada pada si 21 hari ini harus dikekalkan, bahkan ditingkatkan buat selamanya.
bukan dibunuh semangat itu, bukan untuk dibebankan dengan tarikan dunia yang makin menggila.

sebagaimana muhammad al-fateh (dengan izinNya) mampu membuka constantinople tika berusia 21 tahun, jiwa itu yang harus ada pada yang berusia 21 tahun di zaman ini.

Impian Umar al- Farouq:
"aku mengimpikan rijal seperti Abu Ubaidah bin al Jarrah, Muaz bin Jabal dan Salim, hamba Abu Huzaifah. Lalu aku meminta pertolongan dari mereka untuk meninggikan kalimah Allah”.

snow white

2010-12-04T01:45:00.000-08:00

hati manusia macam snow.

asalnya sangatla putih. cantik sangat. sejuk mata memandang.
pulak tu,
takde satu hablur pun yang sama dengan hablur yang lain.

tapi,
lama- lama snow putih jadi kotor.
dipijak- pijak. ada tapak kaki. berbekas- bekas.
jadi kotor. umpama lumpur.

salji yang beku (read: blum cair) tak boleh nak buat amende.

bila cair jadi air, kite leh wat macam2 dgn air tu :)

bila hati beku, fikrah tak mengalir.

bila hati banyak anasir luar, boleh jadi berbekas- bekas. dah tak cantik dah.

bila kotor, hati gelap macam lumpur.

sacrifice

2010-11-29T02:10:00.000-08:00

a week has passed since eid al-adha.

qurban comes from the word 'qarib' which means near. hampir. rapat. dekat.

from the translation, an- nahar also brings the similar meaning. and if you look into your terjemah al-quran it's added in a bracket there, "untuk mendekatkan diri kepada Tuhanmu".

Allah itu baik, dan hanya menerima yang terbaik sahaja.
Jika Qabil hanya meletakkan sayuran yang sudah layu sebagai qurban, Habil itu berbeza. cintanya kepada Yang Satu membuatkannya memberikan yg terbaik buat Tuhannya Yang Satu itu.

kalau kita sayang something, of course we'll give our best for it. Bukan sekadar gitu- gitu je. bukan sekadar cukup syarat, as a formality sahaja. tapi, sebaik- baiknya.
Allah itu baik, dan hanya akan menerima yang terbaik sahaja.

banyak yang berfikir untuk mengorbankan harta, masa, tenaga yang ada ke jalanNya.
tapi kadang2 kita lupa, perasaan kita juga milikNya.
Feeling is a creation.
creation siapa? mesti lah Dia.

bila sudah bersama- sama di dlm jalan D & T, kadang kala kita terlepas pandang ciptaan yg satu ini. Lupa yg Allah bukan sekadar mahu kita berkorban masa, harta dan tenaga, tapi juga perasaan. Mungkin ada yg sering termakan hati dgn sikap sahabat yg lain. Ada yg hanya memikirkan perasaan hati sendiri tanpa sedar sikapnya itu mampu membunuh semangat sahabat yg lain. Ada yg terlalu mementingkan kesukaan sendiri sampai mengganggu kelancaran perjalanan teman yg lain.

there's one time, i know i hurt this friend of mine a lot. taking herself for granted as she's always a cheerful person, plus sikap dia yg secara zahir tampak 'macam x kesah', i knew i hurt her. Once i asked her, "mesti selalu kecik hati dgn aku, kan? tak pernah kisah ke?"
jika bukan di jalan Ini, pastinya dia cakap, "mestila aku x suka kau. selalu sangat dah kecik hati." (this is what i will say if i was her).
tapi, jalan Ini mengubah paradigma kita. untuk melihat perkara yg lebih besar dari perkara yg tidak berapa besar ini. Jawapan sahabat saya,
"Ada la jugak terasa. tapi tak payah risau lah. Masalah umat lagi besar."

........

selama ni, sahabat saya dah fikir perkara yg lagi besar, sampai dia dah tak perlu besarkan perkara yg kecik2 ni.
Faham maksud berjiwa besar?
Jiwanya sangat besar, sampai perkara yang kecil2 ni dianggap kerdil je. Tak menjejaskan jiwanya yg besar itu, yg akan dikorbankan buat Allah.
kata Hasan al- Banna, "tingkatan ukhuwah yg paling rendah itu adalah berlapang dada. Itsar adalah yg paling tinggi, yg mana kita mendahulukan org lain lebih dari diri sendiri".
kalau berlapang dada pun kita tak mampu, tak wujud la ukhuwah fillah yg konon dicanang- canangkan tu.

setakat mana kita mampu untuk mengorbankan perasaan kita ciptaan Allah itu utk mencapai tahap itsar ini demi redhaNya?

mould

2010-11-05T01:36:00.000-07:00

“Manusia itu seperti logam, terpilihnya mereka semasa jahiliyyah terpilih juga mereka semasa Islam, sekiranya mereka faham”

maybe some of us has encountered this hadith for so many times.
hebatnya seseorang tu semasa jahiliyah, hebat la juga dia semasa islam, andainya dia faham.
hebat semasa islam = seandainya dia faham.
faham apa?
faham matlamat hidup. tujuan dia diciptakan.
kenapa kita diciptakan?
dah banyak kali sebut dah. fikir sendiri. cari dalam alquran.

bukan pasal ni yang saya nak kongsi hari ni.
tapi pasal 1 benda. yg buat saya rasa, "whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa, betul la~~!"
recently banyak benda jadi. banyak sangat sampai tangan ni tak tercatch up dengan apa yg ada dalam kepala saya. things happened, yang kadang2 buat orang itu volatile.
cuma saya nak kongsi pandangan sister ini tentang hadis kat atas ni.
"kalau awak rasa awak tak boleh berubah, tolong jangan fikir macam tu. manusia ni logam. logam tu boleh dilentur. kalau awak tak rasa boleh berubah, tipu sebab kita sebenarnya boleh dilentur."

kalau tengok peribahasa "melentur buluh biar dari rebung", saya rasa x valid la peribahasa melayu ni. betul kena lentur dari rebung, tapi salah bila kita umpamakan manusia tu macam buluh. seolah- olah kita dah x boleh nak berubah bila dah tua.
orang kata, bila orang tu dah umur 40 tahun, kalau dia jahat time tu, sampai bebila pun dia akan jahat sebab dah susah nak ubah perangai bila dah tua.
tapi,
awak dah lupa ke
as syahid Sayyid Qutb?
Dia temui Islam itu, faham Islam itu, berubah 180 darjah itu, lahir sebagai insan baru itu tika usianya hampir menganjak separuh abad.

manusia itu logam. bukan buluh.
siapa cakap? Rasulullah cakap.

kadang-kadang, kita rasa ada je benda yang kita susaaaaaah sangat nak ubah dalam diri kita. kita rasa perkara itu kebiasaan. Tapi kebiasaan itu lah sebenarnya jahiliyah kita. Benda yang halang kita terima hidayah Allah. yang halang kita terima pendapat orang lain. yang buat kita rasa susah nak berubah, sampai boleh affect jalan dakwah kita. affect sahabat seperjuangan lain keliling kita. awak tak rasa bersalah ke kalau macam tu??
ingat! masyarakat muslim itu, daulah islam itu terbina dari individu- individu muslim yang faham.
i.n.d.i.v.i.d.u.

awak susah nak berubah?
awak tu logam.
boleh dilentur.
bernilai. sampai orang perlu gali untuk cari.
bukan buluh.
yang ada tepi sungai.
yang kena tebang bila raya datang.
yang kena letup untuk buat meriam.

graffity

2010-10-08T07:33:00.000-07:00

i still remember that back then in KMB, there's a classmate of mine who tried to talk about graffity in her english oral exam. interesting enough to capture teen's heart i must say.

graffity.

it sounds wrong.

it sounds terrible, immoral, bad, bla bla bla bla blaaaaaaaaaa...

they paint the walls, they spray the colours, they attract attention.

indeed, i love looking at all those paintings, as if i can read their mind through that.

it may sounds wrong if it's 'tak kena tempat'.

but looking at these, for once i smile :)

these were taken near central market LRT station. everytime i commute there, i'll always wonder what kind of painting will show up there. and truly, this time it moved my heart. because i know, not all of us are ignorant. and some are just smart enough to use graffity to attract public attention. or better put, they know that what they got is what they're going to use to spread the message.

Allah created us complex enough, special enough for this life. it's such a waste if we dont know what's the potential that we've got inside us.

so,

show us what's you've got.

no.

show Him what you've got.

p/s: while people are happy with the syawal, new opening semester, bla bla bla, we shall never forget that people out there are still fighting for survival of their land. (it's our land too by the way).

chasing after... what?

2010-09-06T02:03:00.000-07:00

looking at newspapers on the coffee table, they make me sick. frustrated.
what's hot right now?
heh.
the never-ending inter-nation conflict. you know what i mean.

a year back, i was granted by my sponsor (read: Allah) to further my study in medicine, in this country. compared to other favourable countries, this country that I'm going is rewarded with earthquakes, volcano eruptions, dense population of human race, high inequality of income distribution, and not to forget, the endless inter-nation conflict with my own country.

for a normal medic student, we might put a 'doctor' to be solely our dream.
apa- apa pun orang tanya, "saya tak kesah apa pun yang jadi, yang saya tahu, saya nak dan akan jadi doktor jugak~!"
wahhhh.... determined sungguh student ini.
Tiada apa yang salah di situ. Apa yang diimpikan itu tidak salah, because that's what will drive the student forward.
Tapi, awak penah tak fikir other possibilities yang boleh jadi?

previously, medic students in Padang had been called back and can't further their studies in this country because of the massive earthquake that hit their area last year. well, jakarta isn't an exception.
plus, the inter-nation conflict that mainly targetting people in jakarta. and it isnt far from where i'm staying truly.

so many (negative)thoughts running in my head. and if one think of it too much, one can eventually breaks down to tears.

pernah fikir tak,

" kalau saya tak jadi doktor, saya akan jadi apa?"
" dah nak masuk 2 tahun belajar medic, tiba2 biasiswa ditarik balik, saya nak buat apa?"
" macam mana kalau saya mati before saya sempat graduate?"

........

kita hidup, bukan setakat nak kejar degree/ license to be a doctor tu je.
there's gotta be more to life than that.
and there's more in the after life.
kalau awak setakat fikir nak jadi doktor, specialist, consultant, habisla awak bila cita2 awak tu tak kesampaian. Habisla awak bila Allah takdirkan bukan itu yang terbaik untuk awak jadi. takut tak? takut tak? :P

Tanya balik diri awak, doktor je ke yang saya nak jadi? Tak nak lebih dari itu?

Ingat balik tujuan hidup kita,
kenapa kita dicipta.
Then you'll be relieved + calm for whatever He has decided for you.
Tak kisahla negara yang awak pergi aman ke tak, awak betul- betul jadi doktor ke tak, sebab awak tahu, ada sesuatu yang lebih penting dari itu semua. Awak tahu ada benda yang lebih besar yang awak kejar berbanding cita- cita yang kecil itu. Awak tahu awak kejar sesuatu yang takkan berakhir kat dunia ni je, tapi boleh bawa sampai ke alam sana.

Tanya balik diri awak,
"Apa sebenarnya yang saya kejar sekarang ni?"

whatever it is, pray that Allah gives us the strength to face whatever He has decided for us. and there's nothing to worry, sebab
"Allah kan ada :) "

p/s: dulu saya suka sangat lagu there's gotta be more to life by stacie oricco. listening to it right now from different point of view makes me appreciate the lyric more :) o0h terima kasih juga kpd konflik yang tak habis2 ni. you add up some spice in my journey + you make me think again of what i'm chasing after. betulkan niat insyaAllah. Thanks Allah :)

cantik itu persepsi

2010-08-27T01:00:00.000-07:00

it has been exactly a year since the day i arrived here. and this is what i wrote back then. n true enough, I know that He has placed me right at where i belong. Grateful enough, happy enough, content enough as He is the best planner of all.

"Allah itu maha adil. dia letak kita betul di tempat yg sepatutnya."

pengisian yg saya dpt 2 3 hari di malaysia ni, sgt2 meaningful. rezeki yg Allah bg itu adalah utk dekatkan diri kita pd Allah. pd pandangan manusia, ada yg buruk, ada yg baik. tapi bg Allah, Allah memang dah letak semuanya pd condition yg terbaik utk kita dekatkn diri pd Allah. be it kita suka/ x, itulah rezeki terbaik yg Allah bg utk kita yg akan dekatkn kita pd Dia. but it depends on individu itu sndri, to exploit rezeki yg Dia bg itu atau tidak.
(bicara soal takdir mmg selalu meng'amaze'kan saya ^^ )

When I said Jakarta, what comes into your mind?
Months before, what I thought was an urban city, dusts, noise, pollution, lack of modernization and urbanisation, a city that is left behind compared to other capitals in this world. Ugliness.
Mind me, I had only been in this country when I was 4 years old. Itu pun I went to Sumatera, not this Java Island. With tourism agency. And tourist guide. Huhu.

Touch down.

Arrival time 1455 pm, 27 August 2009.

What’s on my mind before is nearly accurate, plus the famous traffic jam and lots of people selling anything they can in the middle of the road to win the bread for their selves and family. ‘Pengamen’, dorongan,* you name it, you will see it on the streets of Jakarta.

I hate big cities. I can’t stand the noise, I can’t stand many people walking around me and I feel lost in translation. I hate their prejudice towards the people of my country, I hate them for recognizing me as one. Ooh, I generalize too much. Not all of them, some of them only.

The place I’m living now and for the next 5 years is a big city. Really big and busy. Bigger and busier than Kuala Lumpur. The drains are clogged, the rivers are black, the streets are crowded with houses, and the passerbies are all full with people selling many things, trying to attract your attention. The streets are dusty since it’s rarely raining here (except for January and February when rain brings flood), smeared with spits and sometimes you can even see the phlegm. Dogs barking, rats moving around happily at night and even bats are flying above you. Cats are dirty, no more adorable.

Are you whining, Basirah?

No, I'm not.

There’s this one day. I walked along this street and suddenly the wind blew. Leaves are falling gracefully, like you see when autumn comes. I stopped and lookup to the bright sky, trying to seal the moment.

Yesterday I walk back alone from my friend’s house. A dirty cat walked near me. I cooed him a bit, and the cat even walks with me all my way back. A companion when you never expected it, I must say.

The other day, I went to pasar pagi near my neighbourhood. It’s like Pasar Tani basically. With many more variety of things being sold. It’s dirty, but here in this country, who cares.

Here, I love to see the dorongan passing by in front of my house, tukang jahit bergerak yang bawa mesin jahit pegi mana2 pun, playground yang penuh dengan orang dewasa n kanak2, es buah and gado2 yang sedap, warteg n warkop* yang provide cheap food, naik bajaj yang menyeronokkan, my housemates yang eventhough we are all from different races and religions tapi sangat2 baik n memahami, jalanraya yang sentiasa busy tapi adventurous, dan baaaaanyak lagi.

I grow accustomed to all of it now.There are many scenes happening around me that is worth being portrayed. For me, even pakcik yang jual2 tepi jalan tu pun worth a snap. People are really an attractive subject to be pictured.

Train our eyes to see beauty in every happening around us.

Since I only got Jakarta for me to be appreciated, I got to make the best out of it, aite?

I don’t have Edinburgh to admire, Cliff of Moher to awe, buildings of Prague to fantasize. I don’t find koala to hug or kiwi fruits to take back.

Since You give me Jakarta, I guess it’s my responsibility to make the best out of it.

Stop whining or blaming your fate.

See beauty in every of His creations.

Shift your paradigm.

This is written after 2 months I’ve been here. Not that this country doesn’t have any picturesque spot. I don’t reach Bandung, Yogyakarta and Bali yet, which are famous for their natural beauty.

*Pengamen: Musician on the streets, usually playing guitar and singing in the middle of the road during traffic jam, intending to obtain some money from the driver/ passengers.
* Dorongan: Orang jual2 yang bergerak.
* Warteg: warung tegar, selling food like nasi campur bla bla.
* warkop: warung kopi.
* bajaj: tricycle with engine. Very loud engine.

when she wished for a brain tumour

2010-08-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

this is a story of an 11 years old kid, who dreamt to die with a brain tumour.

she knew that it is painful, but she cant help herself to wish for it.
she felt loveless, unappreaciated in her family, as the middle child used to be left on her own as others think that she's able to take care of herself since she's neither the oldest nor the youngest. she tried her hardest to be as smart her older siblings, to be at least significant to her family. most nights she cried in her sleep as she pushed her emotions deep deep in her heart, thinking nobody cares for her.
that's why she wished for a brain tumour, so that she will caught the attention of her family, and to know that suddenly when everyone know that she got the tumour, everyone will also give extra care for her.
or when she dies, everyone will wept for her.
and they will remember her as 'the-one-who-died-because-of-brain-tumour'.
especially for her family, she wanted them to regret their inappreciativeness towards her.

every now and then when she got a headache, she will asked herself, "is this it? is it a tumour?"
when the pain subsided, she will sighed...

nearly a decade passed,
she realized that she no longer wish for it.
to remember back how desperate she was years years ago to wish for a brain tumour, she can laugh out loud at her pathetic self those years ago.

when she found her meaning of life,
she knows that there's gotta be more to life.
she will not make anyone worry, as she knows that there's a huge responsibility that she's taking in her life, that she's paying with her soul.
either her soul is valuable or not, that is what she will present to The One she trades with soon. She wants to stay strong, making her life valuable to her creator.

“We are all waiting for the day to die. Either it is by Apache, or by cardiac arrest.. it is the same. I prefer Apache!” - as-syahid Abdul al- Aziz al- Rantisi.

She never know of how she will die,
but she prays that Allah gives her the strength so that she will die not as 'just-another-patient', but the one who will leave a mark in other's journey of life.

o0h, it's fine if no one remembers her.
Most importantly, she wants His ridha upon her.

That might and will satisfies her insyaAllah.

eat your veggies~!

2010-07-29T02:06:00.000-07:00

truly, saya tak suka sayur hijau. ye, daun itu.
bayam hijau, bayam merah, kangkung, kailan, sawi, sebutla semua sayur hijau yg wujud atas muka bumi ni.

eventually,
it has taken its toll on me.
tak sihat satu hal, lepas tu orang slalu kata, "hilang 1 nikmat kat dunia ni."
pernah 1 time when i was in form 4, terpaksa berpantang makan sebab on medications. the only thing i can eat at dat time was green veggies. nak tak nak, makan jugak la.
"Hurm..boleh je makan walaupun terpaksa. bukannya teruk sangat pun."
betul, tapi time tu je la saya mkn sayur hijau.lepas2 tu dah tak suka balik.

skarang atas sebab2 tertentu, saya try blaja makan sayur hijau. betul rasa dia macam daun, tapi daun ni la yg sihat, betul tak?

kadang- kadang, kita selalu ignore kebaikan satu- satu benda tu, just sebab kita x suka. bukannya reason apa pun, tapi ntah, sebab tak suka, sebab tu kita tak nak.
Benda tu dah obviously leads to kebaikan, tapi kita tak nak buat simply sebab 'saya tak suka.' Say, kerja sekolah yg melambak2, tepati masa, hormat mak ayah.

Ultimately, alasan 'saya tak suka' ni boleh affect hubungan kita dengan Dia. Kadang2 kita rasa macam restriction, tapi itu yg terbaik buat kita. Sama macam makan sayur, nampak cam tak best, tapi itu yg bagus. Lebih2 lagi, bila semua suruhan tu datang dari Dia. Dia yang cipta kita, so Dia tahu apa yg terbaik untuk kita. Siapa kita untuk cakap 'saya tak suka' atau 'saya tak nak buatlah' kepada Dia?

Amboiii, senang2 je cakap macam tu kat Dia yg dah bagi kita macam- macam.
Melayu mudah lupa?
Heh. Manusia memang mudah lupa.

Meh saya bagi 1 situation.
Kita dah tahu yg sayur itu memang bagus. Kalau kita bersembang dengan orang yang tak suka makan sayur, of course dia akan kata sayur itu tak best dan seribu macam lagi mende yg tak best pasal sayur. Tapi, bila kita berborak dengan org yg suka makan sayur, mesti lain pulak jawapan dia, kan. Kita memang dah tahu sayur tu bagus, so kita nak dengar cakap siapa sekarang ni?

"Sesungguhnya orang- orang yang beriman, dan orang- orang yang berhijrah dan berjihad di jalan Allah, mereka itulah yang mengharapkan rahmat Allah. Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang." (2:218)

"Wahai orang- orang yang beriman, masuklah ke dalam Islam secara keseluruhan,dan janganlah kamu ikuti langkah- langkah syaitan. Sungguh, ia adalah musuh yang nyata bagimu." (2:208)

change= hijrah.
jihad= bersungguh- sungguh.

Dare to change, will we?

Takut?

Allah kan ada :)

sampai bila?

2010-07-16T03:23:00.000-07:00

sampai bila nak boikot?

kalau saye jawab sampai bila2 boleh tak?
hohoho.

selagi islam belum menang, selagi palestin belum bebas, selagi saudara2 kita di serata dunia masih ditindas, selagi umat Islam belum bangkit, selagi pemikiran kita masih dijajah oleh kuasa Itu, selagi kita masih duduk berteleku di bawah kuasa Itu, selagi itu kita boikot. Ok tak?

Hari tu, dengan gembiranya kami kanak2 di jakarta pergi kedutaan besar malaysia di jakarta pusat. ada sorang uncle ni, Dr Syed Haleem, one of the volunteer lifeline 4 gaza yg ada dlm kapal mavi marmara itu hari datang ke jakarta. seronok dengar dia cerita macam2. kadang2, goosebumps pun ada jugak bila dia cerita part2 yg menyentuh hati saya sepanjang dia join misi tu. n some days, they even reach to the stage between life & death. tapi, mereka kata mereka x rasa takut pun. seronok lagi ade la.
cool, kan :)

sampai 1 part, masa dia cerita yang kapal tu kena serang, berita tu sampai kat anak dia kat malaysia. Anak dia cakap kat makcik dia, "Makcik, kalau ayah saya mati, boleh tak saya salahkan orang- orang yang masuk Carrefour dengan Mc D tu?"

************

kadang- kadang, kita rasa macam apa yg kita buat ni kecik je. tapi, bagi sesetengah yg lain, benda ni besar. kita tak nampak effect dia directly depan mata, tapi bukan effect itu yg Allah pandang. Allah hitung usaha kita, azam kita, semangat kita walau sekecik zarah pun. semua ni tak sia- sia. usaha kan ke tangga kejayaan. ada paham?

apape pun, kita buat semua ni sebab Allah. cari redha Allah, untuk bantu saudara yg seakidah dengan kita. kalau kita tak tolong, siapa lagi? kalau semua orang dok harapkan orang lain, pi mai pi mai tang tu jugak.

kesimpulan: nak boikot sampai bila?

jawab sendiri.

where's your feet?

2010-07-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

plant them firmly on the ground.

True, the very ground that you step.
Because this is what we've been originated from.
The ground. The soil.
Not the fire, nor the light, impossibly the wind.

Who built your house?

It's him, the one that you sometimes minisculed, given sly look when you walk pass the construction site.

Who plant your veggies?

It's them, whom smeared with mud, whom you might think have lower IQ than yours, struggle each day to win the bread for the family, living a different world than yours.

We might say "euww", "urghhh" or whatsoever if we ourselves in their condition, stained with mud and dirt everyday.
But,
We are no different from them.

"Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menciptakan manusia (Adam) dari tanah liat kering (yang berasal) dari lumpur hitam yang diberi bentuk." (QS. Al Hijr, 15:26)

Be it we're an excellent student, normal student, weak student, a prime minister, a housewife, a construction worker, or anything, we're just the same in front of Him. The only thing that differ us is our faith and belief (iman & taqwa) in HIm.
It's undeniably fair, right?
Because we're not looking for the reward of the world (it's a bonus if we get it), but we're looking for the reward from our Creator. in the hereafter.
How cool is that :)

The next time you see people around you, "dont judge a book by it's cover" as the saying goes. It's not their appearance that will be look upon to, but their deeds.
Shame on us if we feel superior than them, just because we're more fortunate than them in terms of money.

Islam is beautiful, isn it? ^_^

suffocate

2010-06-09T02:18:00.000-07:00

the mud.
it sticks us to the ground.
wet, sticky, hard to be removed, hard to move our own body.
it sticks us to the place where we shouldnt be. instead of flying high, we keep struggling at the same old point.
nothing changed. but ourselves, which getting dirtier and dirtier.

for some, they enjoy themselves to be in the mud. playing, splashing the mud around. some of them might want to come clean, but have no effort to get out of that place. some of them are just too caught up playing, without realizing that they're sinking deeper and deeper into the mud.
there will come one day, when God ask the angel to take their life away, they die drowning in the mud.

*futur itu memenatkan.

futur itu menjauhkan kita dari Dia.

futur itu membuatkan kita kembali bergelumang dengan benda-benda kotor yang kononnya telah kita tinggalkan.

kita tidak mahu menjadi manusia biasa. kita mahu menjadi hamba-Nya yg luar biasa.

"Aku merasa kaget dan hairan mengapa manusia jatuh ke dalam lumpur yg kotor dan penuh penyakit ini? Mengapa mereka tidak mendengar seruan Allah yg Maha Tinggi dan Maha Besar, iaitu seruan yg dapat meluhur dan membersihkan usia seseorang? Mengapa manusia sanggup hidup dalam paya yg busuk, di tahap yg amat rendah dan dalam gelita kesesatan yg menghitam itu, sedangkan mereka mempunyai padang-padang yg bersih, tempat2 tinggi dan cahay yg terang- benderang?" - Syed Qutb, mukaddimah fi zilalil quran.

“Sesungguhnya syaitan itu adalah musuh bagimu, maka anggaplah ia musuh(mu), karena sesungguhnya syaitan-syaitan itu hanya mengajak golongannya supaya mereka menjadi penghuni neraka yang menyala-nyala” .Al-Fathiir : 6

*futur: melemah, hilang semangat,iman berkurang esp dlm memperjuangkan islam.

open your eyes, will you?

2010-05-26T01:00:00.000-07:00

again, from the alchemist (the book has become my favourite so far :D )

Early in the story, when the boy is still a shepherd, a flashback crosses his mind. he remembered the 1st time he mentioned to his father that he wants to become a shepherd so that he could see the world. In his world, a job that could travel most is being a shepherd. he ought to find the best grass, purest water to feed his sheeps. he goes around Spain to find a good grazing field. He had seen many castles and met many people. He can speak Latin, Spanish and even studied theology. The world was huge and inexhaustible, and he had only to allow his sheep to set the route for a while, and he would discover other interesting things. The only regrettable problem is that the sheeps dont ever realize that they're walking a new route every day. They dont see that the fields are new and the seasons change. All that they think about is food and water. "Maybe we are all that way," mused the boy.

It is an irony that the boy had travel to many places with his sheeps, but in the end, he's the one that learn many things (because he wanted to), but his sheeps never aware of happenings around them, and only think of food and water. After travelling to many places, it's such a waste if we're end up being just like the sheep. So many signs of His existence, His mightiness around us. But if we're too caught up in this small world of ours, we end up never realizing anything. Life has too much in store for us. Which leads us to find the truth. Him. Even a single step outside our door could make a difference, if we're aware of where, what, and why we're doing what we have in mind.

Just take sometimes to reflect on our ownselves, can we?

Mereka memiliki hati tetapi tidak digunakannya untuk memahami. Mereka memiliki telinga tetapi tidak digunakan untuk mendengar. Mereka memiliki mata tetapi tidak digunakan untuk melihat. Mereka ini seperti binatang ternak. Bahkan lebih buruk. Mereka adalah orang-orang yang lalai”, (Al A’raf: 179)

where will your dreams bring you?

2010-05-17T06:40:00.000-07:00

from The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho. some might say that this book is very symbolic. For me, it's deep indeed. Here is a part from the book that I think really interesting, and should be ponder upon.

(rephrased form, for fear of being accused plagiarised :P )

The main protagonist of the story is a boy whose homeland is in Spain and quit being a shepherd to pursue his dream (which is to find a treasure near Pyramids in Egypt). Series of unfortunate events fall on him, and situation forced him to work in a crystal shop to make some savings so that he can continue his journey to the pyramids. The owner of the shop is a devout muslim (typical in Egypt indeed), who performed the 5 obligations as a muslim well, except for the fifth, the pilgrimage. With watery eyes,the merchant told the boy that since he was a kid, he saved his money so that he can open this shop and someday that he will be rich, he will go to Mecca. It's his biggest dream indeed. Then the boy said to him that now the merchant is rich enough to afford the pilgrimage. So many people passing through the shop everyday to go to Mecca, and some are even poorer than the merchant. What else does the merchant wait for to go there?

The merchant's answer: Because it's the thought of Mecca that keeps me alive. That's what helps me face these days that are all the same, these mute crystals on the shelves and lunch and dinner at that same horrible cafe. I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go on living. I'm different from you. you live to realize your dream, but for me, it's enough to just dream..

It's a pity that the merchant limit his dream to just only go to Mecca for the pilgrimage. Not beyond that. What he says is true, and that's what's happening in our society today. People only live to live a short dream, say, to be a doctor, an engineer, etcetera etcetera.. Once they'll become a doctor, what else will they be? A sub-specialist? then what? then what? and again, then what? it's not wrong to think like what the merchant did as he makes his dream as an inspiration for him to live the present fully. But it's a pity, because he will never go anywhere.

When we dream or put our aim for this world only, then the world is the end of it.
We want to dream big, right?
We believe that there's more to life, right?
We aim for Allah's paradise right?
We dont want our happiness to stop just until we die, right?

rethoric.

Hai orang-orang yang beriman, sukakah kamu Aku tunjukkan suatu perniagaan yang dapat menyelamatkanmu dari azab yang pedih? (yaitu) kamu beriman kepada Allah dan RasulNya dan berjihad di jalan Allah dengan harta dan jiwamu. Itulah yang lebih baik bagimu, jika kamu Mengetahui. Niscaya Allah akan mengampuni dosa-dosamu dan memasukkanmu ke dalam jannah yang mengalir di bawahnya sungai-sungai; dan (memasukkan kamu) ke tempat tinggal yang baik di dalam jannah ‘Adn. Itulah keberuntungan yang besar. (QS : As-Shaff : 10-12)

the notebook(s)

2010-04-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

assalamualaikum.

seeing those faces that i always know today, it feels like it has been such a long time since the last time i meet them.
sitting there again. opening up the notebook to jote down anything valuable for this soul of mine.
two notebooks were brought along. one has notes that i got way back from malaysia. as a reference since i'll be listening to a similar topic today.
the other notebook is a fresh one, for me to write anything new today.

the old notebook flipped.
it's a small book. cute one. i kept since i was in standard 6.
too many things were written there.
all the programs that i have been.
many murabbis that have poured their will and soul to open our eyes.
the spirit that this soul felt, elevated when her iman is far from the x- axis.
but why does the Me today has lost those precious feelings?

(at the Heart's door)
knock. knock.
O0h my. it's so hard.
i cant see anything inside.
please shove some light inside so that i can see.

the notebook was closed.
the silly looking handwriting inside it replenishes this heart of mine.
before today, i've learned many things.
that's what the notebook showed me.
it seems like i forgot.
but now i remember again.

Berapa banyak ilmu yang kita sudah pernah peroleh, tapi hanya sedikit yang menjadi fikrah.

Go back and check yourself again.

It will be a waste of many trees that will be cut for the sake of making a notebook, but unfortunately the thing inside the notebook has never been revised, or remembered by it's owner. What a great lost.

"Perumpamaan orang- orang yang diberi tugas membawa Taurat, kemudian mereka tidak membawakannya (tidak mengamalkannya) adalah seperti keldai yang membawa kitab- kitab yang sangat tebal (tetapi tidak memahaminya). Sangat buruk perumpamaan kaum yang mendustakan ayat- ayat Allah. Dan Allah tidak memberi petunjuk kepada orang yang zalim"
Al-Jumu'ah: 05.

tapak

2010-04-02T08:26:00.000-07:00

2001.

UPSR.

cikgu: awak semua mesti belajar sungguh-sungguh untuk peperiksaan ni. ia akan menjadi tapak untuk kamu semua untuk dapat tempat di sekolah2 yg bagus nanti. mudahkan awak untuk capai cita2 awak.

2004.

PMR.

cikgu: buat exam ni betul- betul. nanti awak boleh stay di skolah ni, atau awak keluar dan ambil jurusan lain, yg lari dari cita- cita awak. ini tapak untuk awak berjaya.

2006.

SPM.

ini peperiksaan paling penting untuk awak. akan tentukan apa yg awak akan jadi pada masa depan nanti. semuanya nanti terletak pada keputusan peperiksaan ni. inilah tapak untuk kehidupan awak yg akan datang.

2009.

International Baccalaureate exam May 2009.

this is just the beginning of your journey to become a doctor.
again, it's the 'Step'. Tapak .

a friend of mine said,
"asyik tapak je. bila nak betul- betulnya??"

saya tersenyum.
sinis.
(another friend of mine realized i'm smiling cynically)

atmaku berkata:

"Awak lupa yg hidup ni hanya permainan dan senda gurau? tiada yang realiti kat sini. yang 'betul- betul' tu hanya di sana nanti. Afterlife.

Indeed, this world that we're living today is a step towards the other world. the other life. if you cant see beyond this world, then you'll always whining, why does the hardship in this life never ends?

Kenapa susah sangat nak belajar jadi doktor ni?
Kenapa banyak sangat exam ni?
Kenapa tebal sangat buku anatomi ni?
Kenapa lama sangat belajar nak grad ni?
Kenapa aku pilih nak jadi doktor dulu?
Kenapa, kenapa, kenapa?

Try ketuk sikit kepala awak tu. Suruh kepala awak fikir. Apa yang awak kejar kat dunia ni selain cita-cita awak yg takdela hebat sangat tuh. Sila jawab.

apa yang kita kejar sebenarnya?

hidup = sentiasa membuat kita terkejar- kejar,

jika kita tidak nampak matlamat hidup.

tidak nampak destinasi hidup terakhir.

tidak nampak apa yang menunggu di sebalik yang zahir.

bedtime story :)

2010-03-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

ada cerita best saya nak share dengan semua :) sila baca dengan sabar, kerana- Nya :)

Sesungguhnya Kami (Allah) telah menguji mereka sebagaimana Kami (Allah) telah menguji pemilik-pemilik kebun, ketika mereka bersumpah bahawa mereka akan memetiknya di pagi hari.

tetapi mereka tidak menyebut pengecualian (dengan mengatakan InsyaAllah.
Maka kebun itu didatangi serta diliputi oleh bala bencana dari Tuhanmu (pada malam hari), sedang mereka semua tidur.

Lalu menjadilah ia sebagai kebun yang telah binasa semua buahnya.
Kemudian pada pagi-pagi, mereka panggil memanggil antara satu dengan yang lain.

(Setengahnya berkata): "Pergilah pada pagi-pagi ke kebun kamu, kalau betul kamu mahu memetik buahnya".

Maka pergilah mereka sambil berbisik-bisikan,"janganlah ada seorang miskin pun masuk ke dalamnya (kebun kamu) pada hari ini.”

Dan pergilah mereka pada pagi-pagi itu, dengan kepercayaan, (bahawa) mereka berkuasa menghampakan fakir miskin dari hasil kebun itu.

Sebaik-baik sahaja mereka melihat kebunnya, mereka berkata: "Sebenarnya kita sesat jalan, (ini bukanlah kebun kita)".

Setelah mereka perhati dengan teliti, mereka berkata: "Tidak! Kita tidak sesat, bahkan kita orang-orang yang dihampakan (dari hasil kebun kita, dengan sebab ingatan buruk kita sendiri)".

Berkatalah orang yang bersikap adil di antara mereka: "Bukankah aku telah katakan kepada kamu (semasa kamu hendak menghampakan orang-orang fakir miskin dari habuannya): amatlah elok kiranya kamu mengingati Allah (serta membatalkan rancangan kamu yang jahat itu)?"

Mereka berkata (dengan sesalnya): "Maha Suci Tuhan Kami! Sesungguhnya kami adalah orang-orang yang berlaku zalim!"

Lalu sebahagian mereka menghadapi sebahagian yang lain, saling menyalahkan.
Mereka berkata: "Aduhai celakalah kita! Sesungguhnya kita ini adalah orang yang melampaui batas.”

“Mudah-mudahan Rab (Tuhan) kita memberikan ganti kepada kita dengan yang lebih baik daripada itu. Sesungguhnya kita mengharapkan ampunan dari Tuhan kita."

Seperti itulah azab (di dunia). Dan sesungguhnya azab akhirat lebih besar jika mereka mengetahui.

(al-Qalam: 17-33).

Sangat comel bila pekebun2 ni reflect diri masing-masing bila terjadi sesuatu yang buruk pada mereka. Mereka tidak menyalahkan ulat yg merosakkan buah, tanah yang tandus atau baja yang kurang. Sebaliknya, mereka menyalahkan diri sendiri atas kezaliman yang mereka sendiri lakukan. Subhanallah~! Semoga lepas ni, kalau ada apa- apa yang kita x suka terjadi, kita reflect diri kita dulu eh. recheck mana2 dosa yg makin menimbun :)

What do you do when you're alone?

2010-03-09T01:00:00.000-08:00

Dari Tsauban radhiyallahu ‘anhu, Rasululllah shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam bersabda,

“Sungguh aku akan menemui orang dari kalangan umatku, mereka datang pada hari kiamat dengan membawa kebaikan pahala seberat gunung Tihamah berwarna putih.Kemudian Allah menjadikannya seperti debu-debu berterbangan (sia-sia)." Thauban bertanya, "Wahai Rasulullah, ceritakan kepada kami, dan beritahulah kami lagi supaya kami tidak menjadi seperti mereka." Baginda bersabda, "Mereka adalah saudara-saudaramu, dan dari kaummu sendiri. Mereka beribadah pada malam hari seperti kamu beribadah, tetapi apabila bersendirian mereka suka mengerjakan perbuatan yang diharamkan oleh Allah.”

(Hadis riwayat Ibnu Majah).

Cuak sangat. Bila cuti, kita dok rumah. dah tiada kawan- kawan yang mengingatkan kita. Tarbiyah dzatiyah perlu mantap. Tarbiyah itu perlu dicari. Sama ada kita disibukkan dengan kebaikan, atau kita disibukkan dengan keburukan. Antara dua, tiada yang di tengah-tengah. Kita tidak mahu amal kita jadi sia-sia. Poooof~! Hilang, hanya kerana dosa yang kita lakukan, sewaktu tiada yang melihat.

Lupa kot, yang Allah tu, Maha Melihat.

fear of Allah's fire aren't we?

till we meet again in the afterlife. insyaallah.

2010-03-06T01:00:00.000-08:00

saya sayang ayah, saya sayang mak, saya sayang kakak, saya sayang abang, saya sayang adik- adik saya. sudah 4 hari di bumi malaysia. tidur bangun bersama ahli keluarga. keluarga yang Allah sediakan buat saya, sedari saya lahir, hingga 20 tahun kemudiannya ini. sayang sangat mereka. bila di depan mata, suka mendengar cerita mereka. hari ni kakak di tempat kerja begini begini. abang dengan persiapan perkahwinannya yang never ending. izzati dengan penat lelah kerja part-time di petronas, padahal hati berdebar menanti keputusan spm. aziz dengan pengalaman menjadi ajk pengawas, latihan sukan yang memenatkan, bakugan b-daman yang susah nak dipasang. mak bercerita itu ini, ayah dengan kerjayanya. suka dengar cerita mereka. terasa bahawa masa sedang berputar, bumi ini berubah, mereka semua kian matang, dewasa dalam percaturan masing-masing. Allah, sungguh, saya sayang mereka.

saya bimbang, sedih

Allah, adakah di akhirat nanti, Kau takdirkan kami untuk bertemu kembali?

sungguh, saya tak mahu kalau di dunia ini kami bersama, tapi di akhirat nanti terpisah. kerna sungguh, dunia ini permainan, senda gurau dan ujianMu semata. saya mahu kami semua lulus ujian dari Mu. kami semua menjadi tetamu Firdaus Mu. tiada yang tertinggal di Jahim. tiada yang gugur di Hawiyah.

Kau banyak kali menyebut, di hari Akhir itu, anak-anak akan terpisah dengan orang tuanya, tiada kaitan sewaktu di perhitungan. Jika begitu Allah, jadikan aku, kami, di dunia ini sebagai anak-anak yang mampu memberatkan timbangan amal kedua ibu bapa kami. Jangan Kau jadikan kami sebagai punca beratnya keburukan mereka.

kadangkala, terasa bahawa ku menyayangi mereka yang bersama di jalan tarbiyah ini adakalanya melebihi ikatan darah dengan keluarga itu sendiri. Kenapa? kerana ikatan ini terbina kerana Dia. Tapi, ku mahu bertemu kembali keluarga darahku ini di akhirat kelak.

Basirah, awak boleh fikir sendiri. sekarang, ini tanggungjawab awak. baitul muslim yang sebenar, yang Allah kurniakan sedari awak lahir lagi. teringat murabbiku memujukku tatkala ku gagal hadir ke satu program atas sebab yg memg tak dapat dielakkan,"Takpe, keluarga awak lebih memerlukan awak sekarang insyaAllah. Keluarga kita ni, adalah mad'u yang allah dah sediakan buat kita, yang dah memang ada.tak perlu nak cari-cari lagi dah.Guna betul- betul peluang yang ada dengan keluarga awak." Subhanallah..baru hari ni saya betul-betul rasa apa yg akak cakap. Benar. orang sibuk memikirkan soal pernikahan, mahu membina bait al- muslim itu. tapi, adakah baitul muslim yang memang kita miliki sedari awal ini sudah benar-benar terjaga? Tepuk hati, tanya iman.

saya mahu kita semua sama-sama masuk syurga. Syurga Allah itu luas. boleh muat ramai2 insyaAllah :) tapi, harganya tak murah. kita perlu bereskan pinjaman kita dengan Allah dulu, then baru boleh masuk. JOm2 :)

the enemy of all mankind

2010-03-03T05:52:00.000-08:00

02.03.2010.

a message received.
"boleh tak awak tolong akak. akak x dapat keluar.parents x bagi. Kak A mintak tolong bagi pengisian utk adik2 In** esok."

Gulp. (not Gulp at seven11 tuh.)

sms by sms replied and sent, A agree. still, without her parents' permission to go out.yet. but usually, her parents will allow it anyway. but what bothering A most is about the task she accepted. her plan: to tadabbur al-Muzammil with them. Hurm, seems that A needs to skype with someone so that she can revise the surah together with a friend. Time passed. It's already night. Online, online. then I called from cardiff. (whatever is she doing at cardiff dis time :P ) Allah, this is just in time~! but soon after, they didnt revise the surah at all. They talked and talked and talked, catching up after few months apart. but it's fine, as A feels her spirit is anew, back in track again after few days strayed because of the holiday mood. thanks to I, J and Al.

It's morning. Well, 10am. A just woke up. feeling shocked and nervous as she isnt prepared for the meeting that will take place on the evening. "Allah, nak pergi ke x nak? nak pergi ke x nak? Boleh je bagi alasan apa-apa kalau x nak pergi." and soon after, she felt her stomach aches. just a minor one, but will be a good reason for not going to the meeting. "At least i'll not lie since my stomache really aches." and plus, A didnt ask her mom's permission yet. Pray that her mom will not allow her, so she'll actually dont have to go. Good2.
All of this happens as A felt she's unprepared to give the 'pengisian'.
A texted kak A, telling "nak cakap ape nanti?" "takutla" "dorang ramai x? macam mana eh dorang", and so many2 questions. kak A calmly replied, "Takpe, Allah akan bersama2 awak". :)
A knows that her feeling is just whispers from the devil. She's torned into two. At one point, she nearly nod to the evil whispers. with an excuse, "takpe, weekend ni ada program lain.boleh pergi lagi nanti." Another part of her just know what is right, and what is wrong.

Awak nak ke biar syaitan tu menang? Awak nak ke disibukkan dengan membuka channel Axn, animax, hbo instead of disibukkan dengan kebaikan yang dah memang dioffer depan mata? Awak nak ke hari awak terbuang macam tu je?

With a heavy heart, A switch off the tv. Head upstairs. Swith on her lappy. Google and surf about al- Muzammil. (she left all her notes abroad.huhu). wrote some notes on a still-clean book. take rapid kl. ride komuter. meet kak A. ride to In**.

hari ni, A sangat gembira. Dia jumpa adik2 In**, bersemangat melihat mereka2 yang sudah terbuka matanya, sudah bersedia memikul beban dakwah. Kalau mereka semangat, A perlu lebih2 lagi semangat~! dalam perjalanan pulang, A naik unser bersama 3 kakak2. kakak2 yang sudah lama di jalan ini. suka mendengar cerita mereka. semuanya berkisarkan D & T. tiada yg melencong. Allah tak suka percakapan yang sia-sia. Ingat tu.

Above all, tak rugi pun kalau kita tak dengar cakap2 syaitan tu. Dorang tu jahat wo0~

"Berangkatlah kamu sama ada dalam keadaan ringan mahupun berat, dan berjihadlah dengan harta dan nyawa kamu di jalan Allah. Yang demikian itu lebih baik bagi kamu jika kamu mengetahui." -Surah At-Taubah, ayat 41.

02.03.2010. part 2 (between a rabbit and a cat)

2010-03-02T07:15:00.000-08:00

still on the same day. reached home from Pasar Seni, mak asked me to drive,sending aziz off to sport practise. then we head to my sister's house. the electricians will come to install waterheater at her house (she recently moved), and she's still at her workplace, so mak n me went there to watch the house. time passed,the waterheater men still didnt come. it's about time for aziz's practise finishes, so mak decided that she'll go to fetch him,while i stay at the house n wait for the waterheater men. i wait n wait. it's nearly 7.30pm. kakak still doesnt reach home yet.same goes to the waterheater men. haiyaa, kalau mau mali, mali cepat2 lor.buat penat olang tunggu saja~
saya sempat buat teh, masak cucur adabi.

tang tang tang. orang ketuk pagar. haaaa sampai pun orang waterheater nih. bukak2 je pintu, seekor arnab berlari masuk dalam umah. waaa macam mana nak halau dia keluar ni. kalut nak layan arnab,nak tengok orang waterheater tu lagi. kemudian, orang2 waterheater tu sibuk tanya. "Itu arnab ada olang punya ka?" at first saya geleng. sebab still tengah kalut n celaru,nak tengok arnab yg curi masuk rumah tu atau layan orang2 waterheater itu. then dorang kata, "kalau tala olang punya,kasi masuk ini lori.arnab buat makan sedap woo0." minda terhenti. reaksi spontan,"Eh, ada2 orang punya. Jangan tangkap arnab ni." Siyes saya sangat2 takut kalau orang2 tu betul2 tangkap dan makan arnab2 ni. Rabbits are friend. Not food~!

Lepas tunjuk kat mana nak pasang waterheater tu, cepat2 call kakak. BIla kamu nak balik ni???? hurm2. lepas tu tengok arnab. Happy je dia lompat2 dalam rumah.naik sofa, celah buku-buku. belakang Tv. then dia berenti melompat.ku cuba nak angkat. mak aihh, nampak je kurus.berat juga arnab ni. then terfikir,"Arnab gigit orang ke tak eh?" terus ku lepas arnab tu.huhu. bagi roti boy sikit, gembira arnab ni lompat2. dah bosan ngan roti boy, arnab berenti makan. o0h, ada makanan hamster.kalau ikut plastik makanan hamster ni, arnab pun leh makan gak. jadi ku beri la sikit pada arnab tu. padahal tu memang dah last portion utk hamster2 tu dah. takpela.biasanya kakak bagi m&m kat hamsters dia. hihi. lepas makan,arnab lompat2 lagi.adehh. pastu waterheatermen sibuk drill dinding atas.bunyi gerudi kuat sangat. telinga arnab sakit.terkejut gayanya. terus dia lari keluar. takut dia lari jauh2, cuba utk tarik dia dgn makanan. alhamdulillah dia datang balik :) tengah sibuk2 bagi dia makan, tiba2 dengar bunyi "meowww". o0h.ada kucing itam.macam kucing dalam kiki delivery service :) o0h.xde makanan nak diberi. kat dalam rumah,semuanya frozen. hurm, last2 roti boy dengan cucur adabi tu yg dimakan. lapar sangat eh kucing. kalau awak ni spesis herbivore,awak pun leh makan makanan hasmter tu :p

saya tak nak tulis sampai habis.cumanya,reflect diri sendiri. bagaimana kita menjaga mad'u- mad'u kita, ukhuwah dengan rakan2 kita, hubungan dengan keluarga kita. risau kalau pet hilang, adakah kita risau tatkala mad'u- mad'u kita menjauhkan diri?

02.03.2010. part 1 (reminiscing)

2010-03-02T06:28:00.000-08:00

6.30am.

"kakyang,bangun kakyang. kan kakyang nak ikut hari ni."

kakak ini pun bangun.sebab segan. dan tak sampai hati. sebab adik yg darjah 4 tu yang kejutkan.dah siap pakai seragam pengawas.lengkap dengan vest.rambut dah pakai brylcream. kakak yang seorang ni kalut nak solat.mandi.kejar masa,takut ayah tinggalkan. saya perlu ke klia hari ini. nak reinstate nombor yg dah expired di celcom centre.

ayah hantar sampai ke putrajaya sentral.senang.kalau hantar ke klia terus, nanti ayah yang tak sempat masuk pejabat. i'll forever be doomed. saya yang volunteer nak naik erl. dah biasa naik. insyaallah ok je. beli return ticket.ke putrajaya sentral kembali nanti.

sampai klia. pergi arrival hall. masa pulang ke malaysia pertama kali disember lalu,di sinilah family saya tunggu. tahun2 sebelumnya,kami yang muka bersinar-sinar, tunggu kakak sulung pulang dari negara matahari terbit itu.
jumpa celcom centre. get things done.alhamdulillah.lepas ni,siapa2 nak contact saya,saya still guna no.lama, ya :) naik erl, ke putrajaya sentral. since it's only 9.00am, obviously tiada siapa yg akan ambil saya di sini. jadi, saya tunggu bas di aras bawah sentral.tika masih di kmb,inilah tempat yg tiap2 bulan akan kami kunjungi. naik bas dari banting ke sini. kemudian menunggu bas ke kl sentral. jika mengejar masa, terus saja membeli tiket erl rm9.50 itu. untuk ke daurah. beramai2 membawa beg, berbicara tentang Dia yang satu. suka sangat :)

nak katanya, sebenarnya dekat sangat puchong dengan putrajaya tu. tapi since tiada bas direct ke puchong (mungkin ada, tapi saya x tahu), jadi saya dengan gembiranya ambil bas ke kl. pasar seni. boleh je ambil teksi, tapi perkhidmatan teksi di malaysia bukan seperti di jakarta, sorry to say. saya lagi takut naik teksi di negara sendiri compared to di sana. jadi,bergeraklah bas itu. lalu presint 9, kawasan rumah teres. lalu presint 10, rumahnya besar2 sedikit. o0h, saya nampak rumah gothic itu lagi. besar, tepi tasik. ada orang kata itu istana hinggap.ayah saya pun kata macam tu.betul la kot. nanti 1 day nak gi tengok dekat2 :) bas bergerak lagi,kini melewati blok C, JPA. dulu semasa masih sekolah di kuala selangor,saya selalu ke sini. main internet di bilik ayah.pejabat ayah saya atas sekali. bahagian gaji. sekarang ayah dah pindah ke bangunan mustapha kamal (nasib baik takde Attarturk kat hujung.huhu). di bangunan ini juga,saya diberi peluang kedua. yep,peluang kedua indeed. kat sini la predeparture briefing saya :) timekasih Allah.the Best planner of all :)

bas bergerak lagi. kini melewati Botanical Park. usai tamat kmb dulu,pernah ke sini bersama sisters lain. rehlah di sini. masa tu ada aliah,seha,sabrina,asma',yandei,mimy dan ramai lagi.suka~
sekarang bas sudah di serdang. lalu ktm serdang.sepanjang cuti selepas tamat kmb,destinasi ini bagai rumah kedua. teman wajib: sabrina, mimy, izzati. kadang2 ada paah.siap tertukar2 phone lagi itu hari :P insyaallah anda2 balik summer nanti,kita ketemu lagi di sini ya~!

bas meluncur laju, ke Pasar Seni.

i'm thoroughly happy to take the long ride home :)

theory of knowledge.

2010-02-23T08:34:00.000-08:00

what i am about to write is quoted from a person,
based on His words.

the one who has faith does not read with these eyes.

Do we have any other eyes besides these eyes?

Do we have any other ears besides these ears?

Do we have any other means of acquiring knowledge of events?
through sense and perception and rationality
The modern Godless world says "no."
The Quran says "yes."

The Quran says that the heart can see
The Quran says that the heart can hear
when faith enters into the heart
did Allah puts Nur in the heart.
Light.
and with that Light the heart can see what these eyes cannot see.
And so now it is clean and clear,
that when the one who has faith can see,
he sees with more than these eyes.
He sees with the heart.

wakeupproject:phase3:part2.

hear, hear-!

2010-02-10T05:57:00.000-08:00

lying in the room, trying to sleep.
Nerves inside this head keep stabbing, figuring some panacea,
and this head aches.
The fume of menthol from the ointment fills the air, clears the lungs.

I stay quiet, struggling to sleep.
These eyes are shut, but the ears wide open. Too proud to allow me to sleep.
I can hear Maher Zain's voice happily played from my housemate's speakers, dogs barking from the opposite house, motorcar engines growling with horns blaring from the main street nearby.
I wanted to sleep. Badly.
Amidst the ache, a question popped.
I can hear them, but will they hear me breathing inside this room? Will they even know my existence inside here?
I bet no.
The dog that barks loudly will only hear its voice. Its own barks fills the wave surrounding it, hindering other wave from other sources to reach its ears. Same goes to the impatient drivers, they hear their horns blaring, but hardly other sound. Typically, the one who makes voices hardly hears others.
But the one who stays quiet, at the very same moment could hear every of it, all at once.

Ignorance is a bliss, but pure ignorance is not.

Sometimes, we're just too blind to see with our eyes.
but God gives us more than just the eyes.
He awarded us with ears. To listen.
Give our ears the chance to serve, fulfilling the duty of theirs.

Let the truth speaks.
and us, to listen.

"Terangkanlah kepadaku jika Allah mencabut pendengaran dan penglihatan serta menutup hatimu, siapakah Tuhan selain Allah yang kuasa mengembalikannya kepadamu?" (Al-An'am:46)

"Ya Allah, jadikanlah di dalam hatiku cahaya, di lidahku cahaya, di pendengaranku cahaya, di penglihatanku cahaya. Jadikan di belakangku cahaya, di hadapanku cahaya, dari atasku cahaya, dan dari bawahku cahaya. Ya Allah berikan kepadaku cahaya." (H.R.Muslim)

p/s: quoted sumwhere: listen twice as much as you talk.

undefine state of mine

2010-02-07T01:00:00.000-08:00

bukan mudah bernafas dalam jiwa hamba

enough said.

strength is with none but Allah.

Allah itu Maha Pengasih.

Terkadang, kita hanyut dalam urusan sendiri. Terasa bagai konflik diri itulah konflik yang maha hebat berbanding masalah lain di luar sana. Mengejar cita-cita yang berlegar hanya di ufuk dunia, tidak lebih dari itu. Lupa, bahawa kita tidak diciptakan sia- sia. Bukan untuk memuaskan kehendak sendiri. Jika hanya begitu, sangatlah ironi mengapa kita diciptakan.

Lupakah kita bahawa kita pernah bersumpah di hadapan Dia yang Maha Agung,

"Allah itu Tuhanku dan Tuhanmu"

?

Happymeal

2010-02-03T03:00:00.000-08:00

Bila anda rasa gembira tepuk tangan~
Bila anda gembira, beginilah caranya,
bila rasa gembira tepuk tangan~!
(the rest sila nyanyi sendiri)

Hahahaha.lagu yang lawak.

Not even a single word pun it states 'alhamdulillah'.

O0h, by the way, how are you today?
How do you feel?
Happy eh?
So,
what makes you feel happy today?

your excellent A++++ exam results?

someone treats you a meal? Happymeal probably?

Hear the voice of your love ones?

or for unparticular reason, you just feel that happiness is in the air?

or is it sadness that you feel?

gloomy days. dark clouds. grey sky. wind howls. not even a single light brighten your day.

hold on.

it's more than just a feeling.

just remember,
the reasons that you think makes you happy or sad is just a medium.
it's Him, Allah, that makes you feel happy right now.
He's the one who decides that you get a good result, decided your rizqi that someone treats you a meal today, and moved you or your loved ones' heart to call each other.

every single feeling that moves you is also a 'makhluk'.
created by Him, the Khaleeq.

"What about anger love and pain
And all the things you're feeling
Can you touch them with your hand?
So are they really there?"
maher zain-open your eyes

Only Allah can put these feelings in our heart.

Not us, His creation.

“Dan sesungguhnya Dia-lah yang membuat orang tertawa dan menangis” (An-Najm: 43)

Bottom line:

just be thankful for whatever you are feeling right now.
say Alhamdulillah,
bow to our Creator, and the Creator of our feeling.

may Allah grant you happiness,
and may He gives you the strength to accept whatever He decides for you.

p/s: bila rasa gembira, cakap alhamdulillah dulu. pastu baru tepuk tangan ;)

terpotong jari

2010-01-28T05:29:00.000-08:00

prolog:

lapar. nak makan serunding dengan nasi. serunding masih dalam plastik, belum berbuka. tercari-cari alat memotong. Ah. ada pisau. pisau tumpul, bergerigi. jadi lah. krek krek krek. separuh jalan dah potong. tengah ralit potong, tersedar jari telunjuk kiri menghalang perjalanan pisau yang asyik memotong. tak sempat alihkan. inersia. terpotong jari telunjuk. hampir2 dekat hujung jari. terpotong lebih sikit, boleh terkopak dua. darah menitik- nitik. huhu. sakit. takpe. saya lapar.

epilog:

nak basuh pinggan. jari tadi tak letak handiplast. leceh. nak wudhu' nanti kene bukak2. baik tak yah pakai. ternampak la belah terpotong jari tadi. hurm2. leceh juga nak basuh pinggan. perlu berhati- hati.
o0h. dah pagi. mahu buka suis lampu. guna jari telunjuk. o0ps. lupa. darah balik jari ni. nak basuh muka, mandi. mamai. terlupa jari luka. huuuu~ sakit sangat. ingat! perlu berhati- hati.
kelas. takut sangat papercut. masih tidak memakai handiplast. perlu sangat berhati- hati kalau tak mahu sakit lagi.
naik teksi, pergi embassy, pergi mall. sungguh- sungguh tengok jari. jaga betul- betul. takut terlanggar apa- apa. tak nak berdarah lagi.

Imam Ibnu Katsir menyebutkan dalam Tafsirnya bahwa: Umar bin Khathab ra bertanya kepada Ubai Ibnu Ka’ab ra, tentang taqwa, maka berkatalah Ubai kepada Umar:

“Pernahkah engkau melewati jalan yang penuh duri?”

"Ya, Pernah”. Jawab Umar.

Ubai bertanya lagi: “Apa yang anda lakukan saat itu?”.

Umar menjawab: “Saya akan berjalan dengan sungguh-sungguh dan berhati-hati sekali agar tak terkena dengan duri itu”. Lalu Ubai berkata: “Itulah taqwa”.

masa tengah susah-payah menahan jari yang sakit & berdenyut- denyut tu, teringat orang selalu kata. sakit ni, boleh jadi kafarah dosa kalau kita sabar. terfikir hikmah di sebalik terpotong jari ni. jadi, Taqwa ini la yang saya jumpa. Alhamdulillah, ilham itu datang dari Dia :)

p/s: jom kita bertaqwa, berhati- hati, sungguh- sungguh, mujahadah untuk jauhkan diri dari mende- mende yang boleh menyakitkan kita di hari muka nanti. :)

dari saya,

yang terpotong jari.

sense of belonging.

2010-01-26T05:09:00.000-08:00

after quite sometimes, we think we're strong enough to face any challenges ahead.

"Here, try me." said the arrogant heart.

strong because we had face the worst that we think it was the worst that ever happened towards us. once bounced back up front, we think we're bulletproof. but we forget, that strength is with none but Allah. He is the most powerful of all. and He who gives us the strength to face whatever challenges that he designs for us.

today, my Creator had show me, that i wasnt strong enough after all. just a flick of incident, all things come back to me. feeling that my gut's welling up to my throat, i cant deny the fact that indeed, Allah is testing me again.

weak heart:
Hey, you're still missing your peeps. regret, regret, regret. dwell in this. get drown with your sadness. blame your fate.

strong heart:
be strong, be strong now. you belong here. remember, physical presence isnt important. you know that your heart's been tied with those around you because of Allah. that's more important than other worldly reasons. feel that you belong here, because you're been surrounded by many many people who love Him.

thank You, Allah.

once again, You save me.

thanks to you-know-who-you-are, through you, God has given me this realization. again. a reminder indeed.

aisyahhussin,aisyahismail,mimyliyana,sabrinahanafi,izzatiharon,zulaikhazainol,sharatulain,bashir,tikahbashah,ijahalong,dibahpapa,pa'ahnajwa,sitifuaid,seha,azrin,asma',shida, wannajah,azimah,jihan & ramai lg. sungguh, saya syg kamu2 kerana allah. see u again when i see you insyaallah :)

incomprehensible?

2010-01-24T08:39:00.000-08:00

Sungguh rugi orang- orang yang mendustakan pertemuan dengan Allah; sehingga apabila kiamat datang kepada mereka secara tiba- tiba, mereka berkata, "Alangkah besarnya penyesalan kami terhadap kelalaian kami tentang kiamat itu." sambil mereka memikul dosa- dosa di atas belakangnya. Alangkah buruknya apa yang mereka pikul itu.

Dan kehidupan duunia ini hanyalah permainan dan senda gurau. Sedangkan negeri akhirat itu, sungguh lebih baik bagi orang- orang yang bertaqwa. Tidakkah kamu mengerti?

- Al- An'am: 31, 32-

penyesalan

lalai

dosa

permainan

senda gurau.

akhirat itu lebih baik.

Tidakkah kamu mengerti?

Tidakkah kamu mengerti?

Tidakkah kamu mengerti?

Tidakkah kita mengerti?

Tidakkah saya mengerti?

filled. not empty.

2010-01-17T08:10:00.000-08:00

one's heart,
can never be divided into parts. be it for the person we love most, material things, nor one's desire in this world.

Allah tidak menciptakan 2 rongga (hati) dalam badan manusia.

tiada 2. hanya 1.
Satu itu Dia. tiada yang lain melainkan Dia.

terkadang, terasa mahu menampar diri.
Terasa kotor. Bergelumang dengan lumpur. Tak pernah mendapat cahaya.

Tipu.

Telah banyak tali- tali yang dilempar kepada kita. Tali yang menghubungkan kita dengan Dia.
Tapi, yang buta itu bukannya mata yang tidak terlihat tali- tali penyelamat itu.
yang buta itu hati.
hati yang satu.

Tidak cukupkah Allah buatmu?
Kalut, sibuk dengan kehendak duniawi.
Takut untuk berkorban kerana Dia.

"Hasbiallah. Innallaha maana."

Kata- kata ini tidak valid buat diri kita, selagi mana kita takut untuk meninggalkan karat- karat jahiliyah dalam diri.
Kenapa perlu takut?
Sedangkan para sahabat begitu yakin dengan Allah. Allah lah sebaik2 pelindung.
Maka, cukuplah Allah buat mereka. tidak perlu dunia yang sementara.
Justeru, pantas mereka meninggalkan jahiliyah.
dari hitam terus ke putih.
tiada yang kelabu.
Berlumba- lumba syahid di jalanNya.
kerna terlampau buru mahu berjumpa si Dia.
kerana bagi mereka, Allah lah segalanya.
Cukuplah Allah buat mereka.

Buat kita bagaimana pula?

Betapa Rabiatul Adawiyah sanggup meninggalkan cinta duniawi kerana cintanya yang sangat hebat kepada Sang Pencipta. Si pemilik hati- hati.

" Di akhirat kelak, kita akan dibangkitkan bersama- sama dengan orang yang kita cintai."

Saya sayang Allah.

Saya sayang Rasulullah.

Di akhirat kelak, saya mahu bertemu, dibangkitkan bersama- sama kekasih Allah.
Dibangkitkan bersama- sama dengan mereka yang merindui Kamu.
Mahu mendengar ucapan salam dari Kamu, Sang Pencipta yang Maha Penyayang.
Tiada lain dari itu.

kerana
cukuplah Allah bagiku.

^_^

no boundaries

2010-01-11T01:50:00.000-08:00

“Sesungguhnya orang-orang beriman itu bersaudara. Sebab itu damaikanlah (perbaikilah hubungan) antara kedua saudaramu itu dan bertakwalah kepada Allah, supaya kamu mendapat rahmat.”
(Al-Hujurat: 10)

(kertas ni was sent to our house. ade kat atas meja mkn when i reach home after class dat day. sgt2 tersentuh bila baca kertas ni. jemputan yg ringkas, tp cukup bermakna. how can we resist to go when the head of the mosque himself invited us like this ^^ )

it's peaceful when people see and meet each other without boundaries.

we're different physically.
namely language, country, race, skin colour.

but God created us all from the 1st man He created.
and we're created by Him and only Him.

why should we search for differences when we know that we have a very strong similarity?
holding the same faith,
we're bonded way beyond physical reasons.
cannot be touched by dirty hands,
held strong for those who believe in Him.
forget our differences,
because the souls of believers are attached by Him,
tied because of Him.

“Perumpamaan orang-orang beriman dalam kecintaan, kelembutan dan kasih sayang di antara mereka ibarat satu tubuh. Jika salah satu anggota sakit, maka seluruh anggota turut merasakannya dengan tetap berjaga dan demam.”
(Muslim & Ahmad)

may we'll stay united til the end of time.

^o^

the aftermath, the end, the coming days ahead.

2010-01-06T08:07:00.000-08:00

kagum, terkesima, terpana, taajub, tersentak.

the aftermath of many2 programs.

HAMKA (himpunan akbar mahasiswa kita) di bumi nusantara ini.
PMS (perhimpunan musim sejuk)di scotland
PUISI di ireland
JUMS,
daurah2 di czech dan tanah air malaysia.
dan baaaanyak lagi program sempena musim cuti :)

hari ni,
program dah habis.
(semangat yang berkobar-kobar semasa program tu pun dah habis ke?)

istiqamah.

dat's the word for today (and the next2 day).

when so many people went to program, filling out their holiday usefully, a spark of amazement came to me. looking at their ym @ fb status, their blog updates, caption at every photos they posted, i realized that they change. for the better. my friends changed. for the better. alhamdulillah, it seems that the programs @ whatever they do during holiday sparks a little something in them. subhanallah.

looking at my very closests' improvement(s), what do i feel?

how will i react?

DONT BE LEFT OUT BEHIND.

a reminder to the one's talking: what you learned, never stops during the program only. what most important is the aftermath of it. whether you can utilise all the things you'd got when the program ends or not. rebuilding oneself, healing what's sick, buck up the spirit, leaving out the mess that once keep bothering you.

we know too much already.
wanna stay quite?
dont.

Lets Walk The Line.

may we meet again because of Him, insyaallah :)

Dare to be Different

2010-01-01T02:06:00.000-08:00

عَن اَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : بَدَأَ اْلِاسْلَامُ غَرِيْباً وَسَيَعُوْدُ كَمَا بَدَأَ غَرِيْباً فَطُوْبَى لِلغُرَبَاءِ

Daripada Abu Hurairah Radhiyallahu 'anhu berkata, Rasulullah Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam bersabda: Islam mula tersebar dalam keadaan dagang (asing).Dan ia akan kembali dagang. Maka berbahagialah (beruntunglah) orang yang bersama Islam ketika ianya dagang”. (Hadith riwayat Muslim)

*******

kadangkala, kita terlalu sibuk memikirkan apa yang bermain dalam fikiran orang lain.

"kalau aku pakai macam ni, mesti nampak pelik semacam".
"kalau aku bagi nasihat, dia kata aku alim la pulak."
"kalau aku kejut dia subuh, nanti tak pasal2 dia marah2 pulak."
"kalau aku ........"

Hai, banyak sungguh kalau. Awak dah buat ke belum masalahnya?
Dah buat, baru cakap.

Mungkin awak terlupa. Bila awak sibuk2 fikir pandangan orang lain terhadap awak, awak lupa tentang pandangan Dia terhadap awak. Indeed, itu lah yang paling penting. Sebab in the end, it's between you and Allah. not them. dot.

Awak tak rasa izzah (bangga) ke bila awak lain dari yang lain? selalunya,macam2 orang buat untuk jadi lain dari yg lain (unik). buat fashion rambut pelik2 la, dengar lagu yg orang lain tak pernah dengar la, pergi tempat2 yang orang lain tak pernah jejak la dan banyak lagi. Kalaulah kita sentiasa ingat yang ISlam ni adalah salah satu nikmat Allah buat kita, mesti kita sentiasa rasa best & cukup dengan apa yang kita ada. Tak perlu buat benda pelik2 untuk tarik perhatian orang ramai kepada kita. cukup dengan Islam, apabila kita berani menegakkan islam itu dalam diri kita.

La takhaf. Hasbiallah.Innallaha maana.
jangan takut. cukuplah Allah buat kita. Dia sentiasa bersama2 kita.

.D.A.R.E.T.O.B.E.D.I.F.F.E.R.E.N.T.

p/s: salam tahun baru.
azam baru saya: tak takut, demi Dia. :)

6 days = rm 670?

2009-12-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

ain't it like not worth it at all?

who cares.

they are all i have.

happy going back home~!

mak, ayah, kakak, arif, izzati, aziz, fellow hamsters and goldfishes,
wait for me tau!

char kuey teow, kek coklat mak masak, spaghetti kakak buat, murtabak pasar malam batu 14.

tunggu saye tau!

:)

i'm going home.
back to the place where I belong.
where their love is always been enough for me ^_^

p/s: there's no home like one u've got, because the home belongs to you :)

Something's Gotta Give

2009-12-24T01:00:00.000-08:00

Your strength needs you to use it wisely.

Ever had a session when in a small group, people will tell your strength and your weaknesses?

At that time, we train ourselves to be as open as possible to accept other’s critics towards us.

Imagine right now is your turn to listen, and other people will tell you your strength and weaknesses.

Ok. "You’re a very nice person, easygoing, hardworking, can cook well, bla bla bla."

How do you feel when people are telling your good side?

Happy? Proud? Over the cloud? Trying hard to hide your smile and keep humble?

Enough.
Ok now, your friends are telling the bad side of you. Not a bad side, just your weaknesses.

Again, how do you feel?

Most people will focus more on their weaknesses, as they know that they got to do something with it. Improving one self. “After this, I will do this and this and this....”, in order to minimize their weaknesses.

But what about the ‘strength’ part? Aren’t you gonna do something with it too? Does your strength is only exists to make you proud, so full of yourself? When you’re keeping your mind full with weaknesses that you have to handle, don’t forget about your strength. God gives you that good side of yours to fulfil your purpose of life. No other reason than that. What’s your purpose of life that your strength got to serve? Tepuk hati, tanya iman.

Lagipun, you’re great @ good @ strong not solely because of your own effort. It’s Him, and always Him. Without a strength given by Him, you cant even move a single muscle. Stiil proud of yourself? Remember, He’s always the Greatest. You’re just a small spec in this world. His world.

Allah menawarkan kita satu perdagangan yang sangat2 menguntungkan. Gunakan apa yang Dia berikan untuk jalanNya, ganjaran yang tidak ternilai harganya sedia menanti. Semua alat2 yang kita perlukan telah Allah sediakan. Cuma kita yang mahu atau tidak menggunakannya dalam perdagangan ini.
"Sesungguhnyà Allah telah membeli dari orang-orang mü'min, diri dan harta mereka dengan memberikan syurga untuk mereka. Mereka berperang pada jalanAllah, lalu mereka dibunuh atau terbunuh. Itu yang menjadi janji yang benar dari
Allah di dalam Taurat, Injil, dan Al Qur-an. Dan siapakah yang lebih menepati janjinya (selain) daripada Allah? Maka bergembiralah dengan jual beli yang telah kamu lakukan, dan itulah kemenangan yang besar". (At Taubah: 111)

The Mosque

2009-12-20T06:38:00.000-08:00

Holiday has started. Unlike others, mine is only for 2 weeks. Though one might think that it's too short, we're not talking about the length. We're talking about the quality of your holiday. If you wasted your time by sleeping all day long, what's the meaning of holiday anyway. huhu :~

yesterday, we went to d nearest mosque to our house, our very 1st time since we moved into this house. Since we're on holiday, so this much time we spend going here and there, including our aim to pray at every mosque in our neighbourhood. :) our first objctive is basically to spread Your words, maybe by teaching the kids reciting Your book first. Secondly, of course to mingle around wit the locals :)

However, what happened was a bit unexpected (we actually dont know what to expect pun). We arrived a bit late for magrib prayer as the jemaah is already dismissed. Dipendekkan cerita, the muslimat was only the 4 of us, no other locals. muslimin also only a handful. when we enter the mosque, all of them went out (as if to allow us to pray peacefully), except the imam (but he went to the other side of the mosque, far from our sight). Huuu. terasa cam diboikot ke ape. Cam lawak pun ada gak.

Finished praying, we sat for a while, discussing about this 'unexpected' happening. Obviously our second motive cant be achieved dis way since there's no other muslimat that we can talk to. About our 1st motive, we're still calculating, trying to learn the culture here. Seems like sitting n discussing among us will not help, we try to catch the imam (the last of muslimin to leave the mosque), to talk n get to know things around here. (padahal selama ni memang x penah buat pun kat tempat sendiri. huhu)

Subhanallah, Barakallah, Alhamdulillah~!

These were the words that he kept uttering towards us, very happy to hear that we're not originally from this land. Besides the fact that we came to this mosque. From his explanation, our neighbourhood got 120 families, only 20 are muslims. No wonder the number of people going to the mosque is very little. Unless when there are taklim or any teachings going on, or the Friday prayer.

From our quite long conversation with him, so many things we learnt. He just know how to put it, teaching us while conversing. About being a true muslim, the concept of istiqamah defined differently by each of khulafa' ar-rasyidin, berbaik sangka as man is not perfect, and many more :) Unfortunately i didnt bring my note book to jote it all down :P

Thanks to Allah, though our first intention to come here isnt fulfilled, but You give us something better instead :) Indirectly, our existence here is known, therefore insyaallah if we want to do or volunteer anything, things will get easier insyaallah. Cant wait for another visit to the mosque again :)

futsal vs football.

2009-12-16T22:18:00.000-08:00

mind you, the title doesnt have nything to do wit what i'm going to say.

the last time i touch a ball with my foot was bout a year and a half ago.
playing with my cousins at the field in my neighbourhood.
mind you, my cousins are all XY.
enough to make a football team.

6 december 2009.
outbound. futsal arena. cool.
after a long time,
today it was something new.
playing with people with XX 23rd-pairing of chromosomes,
the vibe is different.
gladly playing without any xy watching,
with the arena is ontop of the hill,
there's a wave of satisfaction.

one thing makes me ponder.
ever encounter a time when one of your teammates retreat,
taking place at the side of the field,
without any substitutes to replace,
with an excuse, "ey dah penat la. duduk kejap la."
have you?
without informing other teammates,
he/she takes decision in their own hands,
without considering what will the captain says.
surely the team will be crippled,
losing one of their asset,
though the 'asset' never realize that he/she is an asset for the team.

Ironically,
other teammates are also tired. it's not he/she alone.
but they move on, keep playing their parts on the field.
without whining, focusing their mind on the goal.
they know, though their kicks & skill might not be powerful enough to qualify them as a prolific player,
but their contributions by making a small kick to the ball do means something.
at least they make the ball move. towards the goal.

while the one who retreat only watch from afar,
the team is winning.
finally, they're celebrating their victory.
at that time, the one who retreat stands up,
joining the cheering team.
but deep inside,
there's a hollow in his heart.
"i'm not the one who make my team wins."
Is dat a regret i smell?
Maybe.

Who ask you to leave the field when you know you could contribute something?
It's you, and it's your own decision.
Your captain asks you to move towards the goal,
but you're the one who retreat.
Maybe it's too late for another game.
The only thing you can do is to seek forgiveness from your captain.

But now as you're reading this,
you're still apart from this game.
wait. or are you the one who's retreating?
i hope not.
lets play our part.
keep the ball rolling.
hesitate?
just do it.

define celebration

2009-12-14T01:55:00.000-08:00

13 December 2009

tiada apa yang perlu disambut.

perjuangan kita masih belum selesai.

Alhamdulillah ya allah, subhanallah ya allah, allahuakbar ya allah.
hari ini Kau beri kesempatan utk ku menigisinya keranaMu, di atas jalanMu.
Terima kasih ya Allah atas semangat & kekuatan yg Kau beri,
atas ilham yang Kau kurniakan kepada kami.
Insyaallah, segalanya atas izinMu, Allah :)
sungguh,
hati kami ini hanya untukMu, Allah :)
Ameen.

p/s: thanks 4 besday card n phone call from mak n ayah @ makkah, sms from aziz n izzati, msgs from ayiep n kakak, choc bar from sisters @ hanan, wooden wishes from housemates, early wishes from iqbal n ashira, phonecall from sabrina @dublin n heni,skype call from kuri @ iowa,faiza @ dublin, najah,ijah n kautharians @ pmc,sms from nurus,kak fina,kak diba,kak dib,kak dmad,izza,muiz,adlan,zuhri.meaningful facebuk posts from ayuni,seha,jihan,hanis,hammad,akmal,nik syuk,sabrina,tipah, zuleeza, syafiqjohar,kakzam, faiqah n so many others,juniors & seniors. (x larat nk taip dah.) u guys made my day :)

sparks fly ~

2009-12-08T08:54:00.000-08:00

The wind blew.
The grass was damp. Thanks to the rain.
Small Island stood in the middle of the valley,
And there were we.
It was a campfire.
The warmth envelopes cold hearts.

staring at the flame,
feels like being absorbed,
pulled into the unknown world of it.
It was magical.
From the core of the flame to the darkness of the sky,
The sparks flew up into the night.
But it's for mere seconds.
Disappear, beaten by the cold night.
A beauty that never lasts.

But Lord, Your flame will never fade.
The sparks will burn, stabbing the core of unfaithful hearts.
A fire that will never be a beauty anymore.
Indeed, a nightmare.
The sparks will never fade, never disappear,
Because You promised,
The Fire of Yours will alight till eternity.

Safe us Allah,
Because we don’t want to wake up into nightmare.

Safe us Allah,
Because You are our saviour.
Our One and only.
Ameen.

"Those who reject
Our signs, We shall soon
Cast into the Fire;
As often as their skins
Are roasted through,
We shall change them
For fresh skins,
That they may taste
The penalty: for Allah
Is Exalted in Power, Wise"
[Al-Quran 4:56]

"He who created Death
And life that He
May try which of you
Is best in deed;
And He is the Exalted
In Might, Oft-Forgiving"
[Al-Quran 67:2]

6 december 2009. Happy anniversary!

2009-12-07T04:34:00.000-08:00

It has been 5 months since the day that truly change my life.
You show me,
"Basirah, what you want isnt always what you will get.
Take this.
I'll see how you will handle this test."

Name any emotion that cross your mind,
that's how I felt the moment I know that my future will utterly change.
Expect the unexpected?
I dont think so.
Unexpected things is expected when you know that your life is truly in His hands.

Away from my closest sahabiah(s),
You put me in a situation that I know,
"my life will totally depends on You."

Tears never will change a thing,
Regret never turns back time.

One thing I know,
strength is with none but You.

Guide me Allah,
pull me back if I astray from You.

Here I am in this land,
trying to prove You
that I'll try to pass Your challenge.
5 years from now onwards,
we will see.

Happy 5th month anniversary to That day.

p/s: 6 December is also Siti Aisyah Hussin's besday. In Dabelin now, growing to become a better servant of Yours. Grant her happiness Allah, guide her every single way. Let us meet Allah, though not here, insyaAllah in the hereafter.
kepada teman2 lain, semoga kita sama2 thabat di atas jalan-Nya. ^_^

saya tak kan lupa hari ni :)

Plato, aku dan Dia (pt.2)

2009-12-03T01:01:00.000-08:00

Okies. The last post was about Plato's thought, which align with Allah's description of alam ruh and the hereafter.
Now.let's continue.

3) Menurut Plato lagi, dunia ini terbahagi kepada 2 bahagian, iaitu dunia fizikal dan dunia idea. ‘Realiti’ yang sentiasa berubah adalah dunia fizikal, manakala realiti yang sempurna dan hakikat yang sebenar adalah dunia idea.

4) Plato menolak pendapat Protagoras yg meragui adanya kebenaran. Bagi Plato, ada pengetahuan yg sempurna. Ada kebenaran abadi yg tidak dapat dijangkau oleh setiap orang.

* Hidup di dunia sekarang ini, memang bukan realiti hidup sebenar, sebab kehidupan yg abadi tu hanyalah apabila kita di ‘sana’ nanti. Pada kenyataan 3, Plato sendiri mengakui bahawa dunia fizikal yg kita lalui sekarang adalah berubah- ubah, tidak kekal. Namun, dunia idea @ alam ruh@ alam ghaib itulah yg sebenarnya hakikat kehidupan kita nanti. Kehidupan selepas kematian kita adalah perkara ghaib kerana masih belum berlaku.

Kenyataan 4 Plato juga amat menarik. Dia mengakui adanya pengetahuan yang sempurna yg tak terjangkau manusia biasa. Milik siapakah pengetahuan sempurna itu? Pastinya Dia Yang Maha Mengetahui. Ilmu Allah itu amat luas, walau dicatat dengan dakwat dari 7 lautan masih tidak akan habis tercatat.

"Dan sekiranya segala pohon yang ada di bumi menjadi pena, dan segala lautan (menjadi tinta), dengan dibantu kepadanya tujuh lautan lagi sesudah itu, nescaya tidak akan habis Kalimah-kalimah Allah itu ditulis. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kuasa, lagi Maha Bijaksana."
(Surah Luqman:27)

Still remember about Plato’s Allegory of the Cave? Recall it back and then you will realize that this world that we are living now is just a shadow, satu bayangan awal tentang kehidupan akhirat nanti. The real world is out there, beyond our grasp if we don’t open our eyes to see the real truth. If our eyes are wide open to see the truth, then we will never be cheated by this impermanent world. The shadow.

5)Plato: manusia bersifat dualistic (jiwa n jasad). Jiwa terperangkap dlm tubuh.
Menurut Aristotle: jiwa sbg suatu yg menjiwai/ menggerakkan badan.

*masih ingat hadis Qalb?

"dlm tubuh manusia itu ada seketul daging, jika baik daging itu, maka baiklah jasadnya..jika buruk daging itu maka buruklh jasad itu. Maka ketahuilah bhw daging itu adalah hati".

6)Filsafat secara dasarnya mahu memecahkan 3 persoalan ini:

- siapakah manusia itu?
- Apakah hidup ini sebenarnya?
- Adakah hidup ini sekadar peluang dengan nasib yang melempar dadu rawak?

* tak perlu untuk kita membongkar semua buku2 falsafah yang ada. The best encyclopedia ever was written by HIm. turn back to al-Quran, your life questions will be asnwered, for those who thinks.

Plato, aku dan Dia (pt.1)

2009-12-03T00:09:00.000-08:00

For our general knowledge subject module, we need to learn filsafat ilmu (philosophy @ theory of knowledge, and critical thinking).
Okies.
Firstly, who is Mr. Plato?
Plato or his real name is Aristokles is a great philosopher long time ago, and was called as Plato by his teacher.
How did he got ‘Plato’?
Plato = plateau= dahi lebar. hohohoh.
His thoughts were greatly influenced by big names like Pythagoras, Parmenides, Heraclitos and Socrates.

There are few things about Plato’s way of thinking that makes me wonder, as if he was been given ‘enlightenment’ by the Almighty.

1) According to Parmenides: Realiti adalah kenyataan yg abadi, tidak berubah oleh waktu. Plato menyebutnya sebagai dunia idea. Menurutnya, dunia idea adalah dunia gagasan, yang merupakan tempat nyawa- nyawa manusia sebenarnya berada.

2) Plato: “Pengetahuan bukanlah hasil pengamatan deria, kerana dunia yang kita amati ini hanyalah bayangan daripada dunia idea.”
- kerana realiti adalah bayangan dunia idea, maka pengetahuan kita tentang realiti dunia fizikal ini bersifat kabur. Ketika kita lahir, kita membawa pengetahuan bawaan, iaitu pengetahuan yg diperoleh semasa jiwa kita masih di dunia idea.

* Bila diteliti kembali pandangan Plato ini, lampu di minda saya tiba2 menyala. Pertamanya, saya terfikir bahawa ‘dunia idea’ yang dinyatakan Plato ini sebenarnya adalah alam ruh. Pada pernyataan 1 & 2, cuba kita renung kembali firman-Nya;
“Dan ingatlah ketika Tuhanmu mengeluarkan dari sulbi anak cucu Adam keturunan mereka dan Allah mengambil kesaksian terhadap roh mereka “Bukankah Aku ini Tuhanmu?” Mereka menjawab, “Betul (Engkau tuhan kami), kami bersaksi.”
(Al- A’raf: 172)
Janji yang kita lafazkan di hadapan Allah ini diungkapkan semasa kita masih belum bernama, masih sebagai suatu ruh yang belum ditiupkan ke dalam jasad seorang manusia.Di Alam Ruh. Janji yang telah diungkapkan ini menjadi fitrah kita sebagai manusia, iaitu mengakui adanya Dia sebagai Tuhan kita. Fitrah inilah yang sepatutnya (supposedly) mencorakkan pemikiran kita di dunia ini, sebagaimana yang dinyatakan Plato sebagai “pengetahuan bawaan.”

p/s: My intention of writing this isnt to show off Plato as someone genius or superior. Absolutely no. Let's open our eyes to see that He is true, His words are the truth. whenever we learn something, try not to just swallow it. Think, as He asks us to think.

: (

2009-11-29T08:15:00.000-08:00

pressure

tense

sorrow

sadness

grief

regret

dissappointment

fear

inferior

negativity

"Allah memberi petunjuk kepada orang yang bertaubat kepada-Nya. (iaitu) orang- orang yang beriman dan hati menjadi tenteram dengan mengingat Allah. Ingatlah, hanya dengan mengingat Allah hati menjadi tenteram."

(ar- ra'd: 27-28)

ada apa pada unta? salam idul adha

2009-11-26T04:34:00.001-08:00

Tidakkah mereka melihat kepada unta, bagaimana ia diciptakan?
Dan kepada langit, bagaimana ia diangkatkan?
Dan kepada gunung- ganang, bagaimana ia ditegakkan?
Dan kepada bumi, bagaimana ia dihamparkan?
- al-Ghashiyah: 17-20.

Pernah tertanya-tanya tak, kenapa dalam banyak2 haiwan, Allah memilih unta untuk menggambarkan kehebatan-Nya?
Kenapa bukan singa yang megah, ikan paus yang besar ataupun helang yang terbang tinggi?

Ada apa pada unta?

Firstly,
ayat ni Allah nyatakan dalam mukjizat terbesar Rasulullah s.a.w., maka setiap ayat yang disusun dalam al-Quran ni sangatlah cantik & serve its own purpose. Bukan sebarangan je Allah letak ayat2 ni dan disusun sebegini rupa.
Okies.
Masuk kepada main subject kita: Unta atau nama lainnya, Camel.

Mungkin ada rakan2 bijak yg dah dapat teka,

"mestilah Allah pilih unta sebab masa tu kan dekat Arab. Unta lah yang banyak."

Betul betul betul :)
Setiap ayat yg Allah turunkan, sangat bertepatan dgn latar masyarakat masa tu. Di tanah Arab yg tandus tu, mestilah susah nak jumpa harimau, paus dan helang. Yang ada di depan mata mereka hanyalah Unta.
Jadinya, bila Allah turunkan ayat 17 tu (Tidakkah mereka melihat kepada unta, bagaimana ia diciptakan?), automatically umat yg mendengar seruan Nabi tika itu akan terus dapat gambarkan seekor unta yg sememangnya sudah ada di hadapan mata mereka.
Masha-Allah, bijak sungguh Allah :)

"Tapi,
banyak je haiwan lain selain unta kat arab tu. Ada kuda perang, ada keldai yg bawa barang. Kenapa unta juga yang dipilih?"

Unta ni, haiwan yg sangat special.
Utk masyarakat arab, unta dijadikan pengangkutan dan kenderaan. Susu dan dagingnya jadi makanan & minuman, bulu & kulit jadi pakaian & khemah mereka. Pada zaman tu, barang2 ni sangatlah penting bagi mereka :)
Seterusnya,
Unta ni ada sifat2 yg tiada pada haiwan lain. Walaupun dia besar, kuat n gagah, tapi dia mudah dituntun. Unta akan menurut n patuh, even kalau dituntun oleh kanak2 kecil. Walaupun kegunaan & perkhidmatan unta ni sangat besar, tapi maintainance dia x mahal pun. makanan dia murah & belanjanya pun senang.Unta merupakan haiwan yg paling sabar n tahan lasak. Besides, rupa bentuk unta ni selaras dengan pemandangan alam, bila disertakan dgn langit, gunung & bumi, sebagaimana yg terdapat pada ayat 18- 20. (lihat diagram di bwh)

(sori saya lukis x cantik)

Dari ayat 17- 20, pemandangan umum yg dilukiskan al-Quran mengandungi pemandangan langit dan bumi yg terhampar, dan di ruang lintang, kelihatan gunung- ganang dan di sampingnya terdapat unta- unta. Kita dapat lihat 2 garis vertical dan 2 garis horizontal yg tergambar dlm 1 pemandangan besar di 1 ruang yg sangat luas. Sangat simetri, dan dimensinya sangat seimbang. Cantik kan bagaimana Allah menyusun ayat- ayatnya :)

Hurm..okies skarang kita dah faham knapa Allah pilih unta dlm surah ni.

Semoga kita sentiasa mnjadi hamba-Nya yg berfikir :)

Salam Aidil Adha

^_^

* reference: Tafsir fi-zhilalil quran, sayyid quthb.

unanswered question

2009-11-24T04:41:00.000-08:00

hurm..
what's your say?
i'm not asking for the movie review. no no. bukan itu yg saya tanyakan.
soalnya, anda percaya atau tidak ia akan berlaku pada 2012?
Anda ragu- ragu?
Atau anda yakin sepenuhnya dengan jawapan anda?
Atau ada suggestion tarikh lain? :P
Dont answer it loudly.
He always knows anyway.

For me, this is more like a serangan pemikiran@ mental attack @ ghazwul fiqr. u trust them, u fall into their trap. Bagai lembu dicucuk hidung, apa yang didoktrinkan oleh kuasa2 besar dunia, itulah yang diterima bulat2 oleh minda2 yang jumud dan tidak mahu berfikir.

Siapa kita untuk bertanya2 tentang bila hari kiamat itu akan berlaku?
Allah tidak mahu kita berbicara tentang bilakah terjadinya hari yg pasti itu. Dia mahu kita bersedia menghadapi kiamat itu sendiri. Even Rasulullah s.a.w. pun tak mampu nak menjawab bila Jibril bertanyakan kepadanya.

“Beritahukan aku tentang hari kiamat (bila kejadiannya)”. Beliau bersabda: “Yang ditanya tidak lebih tahu dari yang bertanya “.
- Hadis 2.

Hurm.. kita sedang berbicara tentang perkara yang pasti akan berlaku.
Macam SPM dulu la. Tak tahu pun bila exact tarikh SPM akan berlangsung. Tapi, since form 4 (smangatnye~!) or that january tu dah sibuk2 nak prepare. Itu pun, spm mungkin tidak akan berlaku kalau Dia tak benarkan ia berlaku.huhuhu.

Mereka bertanya kepadamu (Muhammad) tentang hari kiamat, "Bilakah terjadinya?" Untuk apa engkau perlu menyebutkannya(waktunya)? Kepada Tuhanmulah(dikembalikan) kesudahannya (ketentuan waktunya. Engkau (Muhammad) hanyalah pemberi peringatan bagi siapa yang takut kepadanya (hari kiamat). Pada hari ketika mereka melihat kiamat itu (kerana suasananya hebat), mereka merasa seakan-akan hanya (sebentar saja)tinggal (di dunia) pada waktu petang atau pagi hari.
- an- Nazi'at: 42-46.

p/s: Tak penting pun tahu bila. Yg penting, cukupkah amalan kita?

assalamualaikum.

Thank You, Allah :)

2009-11-23T07:20:00.001-08:00

Sabtu lalu, hari yg panjang. panjang, sampai pulang ke rumah pun dah jam 10.50 malam.
Banyak yang dilalui hari ni sehingga kadang2 kami berlari macam tak cukup tanah.
Bahaya. lain kali jangan keluar sampai malam2 buta baru nak balik.

10.50 malam. Selamat tiba di rumah.
Safe n sound.
tapi lupa nak ucap 1 kalimah.

Alhamdulillah.

********************************

Ini realiti hidup mereka. Berbumbungkan jejantas. bertilamkan tanah. berdapurkan arang. Mungkin mereka selamat buat masa ini, tapi pabila musim hujan dan banjir melanda jakarta, mungkin mereka akan pergi. mencari kehidupan yang baru.

Ini permainan mereka. Ini yang mereka kenal sedari kecil.

Di sini mereka melepaskan lelah. Tika bangun, kembali berada di jalanan, mencari sesuap nasi.

**************************

Perkara kecil.
Hanya 1 kalimah.

Alhamdulillah.

Terima kasih Allah kerana lindungi saya semasa pulang berjalan kaki dari kelas tadi.

Terima kasih Allah kerana buatkan saya tidak mengantuk di dalam kelas hari ini.

Terima kasih Allah kerana beri saya ilham dan kekuatan untuk siapkan assignment.

Terima kasih Allah kerana beri saya kekuatan untuk memegang pen semasa exam tadi.

Terima kasih Allah kerana lindungi saya dari demam walaupun hujan tiap2 hari, angin sangat2 kuat.

Terima kasih Allah atas nikmat iman dan islam yang Kau kurniakan buat kami.

Terima kasih Allah kerana saya masih bernyawa hari ini.

Forgive us Allah, for us being Your ungrateful servants.

dialogues.

2009-11-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

SATU

(Lecture Hall 306, Ukrida, after M knows that B’s father working in public service department of Mlysia)

M: Oooo..ayah ko kerja kat Jpa.... Ayah ko tak boleh tolong2 ke?

B: (erk!) Hurm...banyak sangat dah dia tolong. Turun naik jpa. Tapi tak boleh jugak. Tak pe la.......

M: Takpe takpe.. Ada hikmahnya tu (sambil menepuk2 bahu B).

B: Yep. Betul betul. Kalo tak, takdela aku jumpa ko, pastu dok kat sebelah ko dalam lecture hall ni.

M: heeee ^_^

“ ...Tetapi boleh jadi kamu tidak menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia tidak baik bagimu. Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.”
-al-Baqarah, 216.

DUA

(on the way to Penang, lebuhraya utara selatan)

A: Kak yang, bumi ni kan bulat macam bola.Tapi kenapa kita tak rasa pun dia bulat? Kenapa kita jalan2 tapi tak jatuh eh?

K: Hurm................. kalau kita semua boleh rasa yang bumi ni bulat, mesti la nanti susah aziz nak lari2 atas bumi ni. Allah memang buat macam tu, biar kita semua leh duduk kat bumi ni :)

“Maka tidakkah mereka memerhatikan langit yang ada di atas mereka, bagaimana cara Kami membangunkan dan menghiasinya.., dan Bumi yang Kami hamparkan dan Kami pancangkan di atasnya gunung2 yang kukuh dan kami tumbuhkan di atasnya tanam-tanaman yang indah, untuk menjadi pelajaran dan peringatan bagi setiap hamba yang kembali (tunduk kepada Allah)”
-surah Qaf, 6-8.

TIGA

(living room, apartment somewhere in Penang)

K: banyak betul la bintang malam ni.

A: ha’ah la.. kecik2 dulu bukan kamu nak jadi astronomer ke? Suka catat buruj apa ade aritu.

K: haha.betul2... Kenapa Allah cipta bintang eh?

A: (erk! Why so sudden?).. Hurm.. ada banyak reason dia.. Ada cakap kat dalam Quran. Tak silap kita ade 5 haritu kita list out kan.

“Sesungguhnya kami telah menghiasi langit yang dekat dengan bintang-bintang dan kami jadikan bintang-bintang itu alat-alat pelempar setan dan kami sediakan bagi mereka siksa neraka yang menyala-nyala.”
-al- Mulk, 5.

“Dan sesungguhnya kami telah menciptakan gugusan bintang-bintang (di langit) dan kami telah menghiasi langit itu bagi orang yang memandangnya.”
- al-Hijr, 16.

..................

sometimes, we just forget to realize that everything He created is a sign for His existence. He asks us to think, but we are too caught up with our life that mostly revolves around our selves only. They said, think out of the box.
He already said that to us, thousands of years ago.

Human = insan = pelupa, tidak sempurna.

"Ketahuilah olehmu bahwa sesungguhnya Allah menghidupkan bumi sesudah matinya. Sesungguhnya Kami telah menjelaskan kepadamu tanda-tanda kebesaran (Kami) supaya kamu memikirkannya."
-al- Hadid, 17.

sekian, time kaseh :)

I see a funeral today

2009-11-09T22:59:00.001-08:00

As I walk back from my skill lab session, I and friends passed through crowd of people.
Strange.
It’s 9.30 am, and the street is unusually busy.
My friend even said, ”Meriah kan, jalan ni hari ni?”
That was before we saw what’s waiting for us at the end of the street.

I see a funeral.
No.
A death actually since the dead isn’t buried yet.
They wore black. Black kerudung as local said, black celana, black kaos.
They hold flags. Yellow flag, made of paper. Like the paper that you use to make kites. I’m still wondering what the flag symbolizes as.

You can actually feel the loneliness that one will face when you watch the dead being buried deep down in the ground.. The silence of the grave, the hurl of the wind..

At the end of the street, the musholla is full with people, with a van from the hospital. I guess they’re still managing the dead, like memandikan, mengkafankan and menyembahyangkan jenazah.

******

Few months back, I’m in their shoes.
Being one of the person yang memandikan my grandmother, my mouth shut quiet at that moment. My sister cried a lot at that time. Thank God, she doesn’t continue to help. huhu.. I don’t know why, but I’m not afraid of being in charge. Some superstitious belief said that you might caught the ‘badi’ of the dead, whatever bla bla bla..
but since it’s our relative, why should we care?
Plus, we’re gonna be one of them also, right? Imagine your so-called ‘badi’ keep haunting other people. Funny eh? Haha.

.....

Above all, I remember this one time.

One of my junior from my secondary school passed away because he had been hit by a lorry.
The news came to me via sms. Typical sms.

“saudara kita...(name)....telah meninggal dunia kerana...... Al-Fatihah..”

Al- Fatihah.

Al- fatihah????
How many of us yang betul2 bacakan al-fatihah untuk orang yang dah mninggal dunia ni bila dapat sms macam ni?
Honestly, i don’t.

I told my friends about the news. They said “innalillah..”. Then i just rest the case for that moment.

It’s zohor prayer.
After salam2, one of my friends approached me.

She said, “Bashu, jom kite baca yasin.”
The dumb me said, “Baca yasin? Knapa?”
She silenced for a moment. “Kan junior bashu meninggal tadi?”
Me silenced for a longer time.
Realization and embarrassment nearly knocked me dead. “jom.”

****

My junior is a guy. He’s my junior and I even never talked to him.

Fine, basirah. That’s what the Bad You said.
What’s the Kind You said?

Your junior is a muslim. Your so-called ‘saudara seiman’ eh? Saudara amendenye kalau hak dia Basirah tak tunaikan. Dia ada hak untuk dibacakan Yasin, untuk didoakan. Baik takyah jadi saudara kalau mende2 kecik macam ni pun awak tak sanggup nak buat untuk saudara awak.

Sumpah, I feel like I’m the most selfish person at that time when I even dared to ask, “knapa nak baca yasin?” to my friend. Tu yang terdiam lama sikit lepas tu. Huuu~
To you-know-who-u-are, thank you so0 much for this realization.
It’s implicit, but it is so clear. This incident happened nearly a year and a half ago, but I still can remember it vividly because it changed my perspective a lot.

Dah tunaikan hak saudara2 seiman dengan kita?

Think our family. Think our roommate, our housemate, our colleagues.

Think Palestine and Afghanistan.

Sudan and Nigeria.

Think of the world. Our relatives are everywhere.

Fulfil their rights, in the name of our God.

I see a funeral today.

And You remind me of this.

Emily Dickinson: There’s been a death in the opposite house..

the lil kid got hp!

2009-10-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

(rondocapriccio ringtone is blaring..... beep.)

aziz: kakyang! ni aziz ni. kakyang cuba teka aziz telefon dari mana?

me: eh? ntah. hanfon sape aziz guna?

aziz: ni aziz telefon guna handfon aziz sendiri tau! tadi baru beli.

me: waaaahhhhh! pakai duit sapa ni? mak bagi ke? kredit sape punye? ayah x marah ke?(banyak tul saye tanye.huhu)

aziz: tak. rm250 je.nokia. aziz pakai duit aziz la. =)

* * * * *

(beep... new msg)

1) kakyang buat apa? (3.00pm, 18 oct)

2) kakyang buat apa? (6.00pm, same day)

3) kakyang buat apa? (8.00pm, same day).

* * * * * *

the fon is ringing again.

aziz: kakyang! tadi kitorg dah jual hamster. anak2 stitch. 4 ekor yang kitorg jual..... bla bla bla.

many many days before, i'm quite mad when he told my mom dat he wants a hp. for a standard 3 kid, why do he need such thing? if it's just bcos his friends got so he also wants 1, duuuh. baik x yah.

now, i'm seriously happy he got his own hp. reasons:

1) i'm the 1st person he called when he bought the hp.

2) other than me, he only texts my big sis.

3) hamster updates!

4) technology close the distance, n we never feel to0 far away from each other.

5) msg aziz sangat comel! ^_^